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im hurt and alone

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
My SO has recently been promoted and although I am happy for him I feel as though he has let this job go to his head. He is constantly volunteering for extra hours. He worked 128 hrs last check. @ 2 weeks. He is never home and when he is he is sleeping or playing video games. We haven't had sex in months, the kids have fallen on me as solely my responsibility. I am exhausted as we have a 6 week old plus 4 other kids. I make plans for us as a family for his days off and he always forgets he promises the kids to spend time with them and takes on extra shifts or goes out with his friends leaving me home alone with the kids as always. If I make plans to go out it seems he always finds a way to ruin my plans. I went out to do Christmas shopping with a friend in December. I was gone for 6 hrs before he started texting me wanting me home ASAP because his friends needed him to help move from one house to another. Then he stayed gone all night. I tell him how angry I am how I feel lonely how I feel like a single parent and he tells me I'm whiny, I'm pathetic, that he knows other women want to be in my position and i can be replaced,then he pulls the guilt card about how he's working all these hours for us to have a better life i need to stop my nagging,,etc..Im so stressed and alone. I feel worthless. I found texts to his friends and BOSS referring to me as the bitch, he talks about his supervisor calls her bigtits and talks about how he knows she wants to be with him n how I need to just leave him alone before I push him into doing it. When I brought it up to him he laughed n said he said those things coz he knew it would hurt me. Why does he want to hurt me so badly?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:01 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:07 AM
He's an asshat. You're already alone, so kick his ass out! Maybe he needs a kick in the ass to wake up. Or Maybe he's already out of the marriage. Either way you'll find out soon enough. You deserve better
young_lv_mom
by Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:11 AM
Those are big red flags. I would start setting up a way to leave or a place to fall, because it will all go to hell soon. He is telling you he thinks he is going to get a better person, if he says that to your face what do you think he does/says behind your back? I hope you the best, but I have no faith it will be easy.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:12 AM

extramarital affair.

MalayaRyder
by New Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:17 AM
*hugs you so tightly* I am so sorry hes doing this to you. My husband is in the oilfeild and has worked an average of 80 to 90 hours a week for the past two years. He hates holidays now because he literally has no energy left for us. I dont know what id do if he was threatening to cheat on me on top of all that. I cant even begin to imagine how you must feel.
Sometimes I call the klove pastors for advice when my husband does something that makes me feel like he doesnt love me. They have been a real help and encouragement. One guy just listened to me while I cried. It felt so good to pour my heart out to someone who didnt know me and wouldn't make any assumptions or judgments.
SitaStJames
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:18 AM
I would call his bluff and tell him to get to stepping since he thinks he can find someone else to put up with his crap like you do. He says that because he knows you will take it and never call his bluff. So do something about it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 11:42 AM

Wow, why would you put yourself through that? It sounds like you'd truly be better off without him since he's never around anyway. At least without him you wouldn't have to endure his verbal abuse and infidelity on top of it all.

There are some good tips in this link:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/181252/7_things_you_should_do

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:04 PM

How old are the older 4 children and how long have you've been married?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 14, 2015 at 1:14 PM

My dh has worked 60 to 80 hours a week for 30 years.  Just the norm for us.  I would say get used to it or divorce.  Its not gonna change and the more you nag the more he is gonna work.  Now that dh is older he works less at the office, but not less per week.  Its nice actually.  Find a common ground and stop nagging.  I doubt the hours will change. I wouldn't have had 5 kids that is for sure.  2 was enough for us.  I knew I would do a lot of the raising. 

Now his comment about his boss was uncalled for and very rude and is sexual harrassment even though it wasn't said directly to her. 

LaughsAlot
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 1:29 PM
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