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Having a baby when marriage is shaky

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies
We've always wanted one more baby. We have a 4 year old.

We've been in marriage counseling for 8 months. We had to stop because our work schedules are opposite now so we haven't been in 2 months. DH was out of work for 6 months and got a job 2 months ago.

I will be 38 this summer and didn't want to become pregnant after 36 because of risks. So given the shaky marriage and my age now WWYD just not have another kid? I never thought this would happen.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
marchantmom06
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:32 PM
No I wouldn't. My main focus would be my husband and child.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:33 PM
Thank you

Quoting marchantmom06: No I wouldn't. My main focus would be my husband and child.
sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:42 PM
Bad idea
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:44 PM
That's what my gut was telling me

Quoting sabrtooth1: Bad idea
BL2010
by BL on Feb. 23, 2015 at 3:04 PM

Not something I would do until the marriage was more stable.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 23, 2015 at 3:07 PM
Thank you

Quoting BL2010:

Not something I would do until the marriage was more stable.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 24, 2015 at 8:38 AM
2 moms liked this
Another child would only put more pressure in an already failing marriage.
He might feel you want another kid to force him to stay and then he'd run for the hills.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 24, 2015 at 8:42 AM
Thanks. A bit harsh, he's hardly running for the hills, we both want to work to improve it. We both want a kid. It's taking a long time for things to improve, though. Still don't know what I'm
Doing, probably wait a little longer and get some intensive counseling.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Another child would only put more pressure in an already failing marriage.
He might feel you want another kid to force him to stay and then he'd run for the hills.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 24, 2015 at 8:44 AM

I would never ever have a child in a shaky marriage.  Bad thing to do.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 24, 2015 at 8:50 AM
I apologize, I didn't mean to be harsh but honest.

A second child always put more pressure on things, on mom's sanity so if you are trying to work in your marriage a baby would be a distraction and being tired won't help either.

Running for the hills, you 2 are having issues, when men are not ready for kids (or more kids) they feel women are trying to trap them and since your marriage is not in the best place that might make him think you want to trap him and he would decide to quit on the marriage. Too much pressure.

I hope you can either fix it soon or if things don't work out, you can move on with your life and be happy.

Quoting Anonymous 1: Thanks. A bit harsh, he's hardly running for the hills, we both want to work to improve it. We both want a kid. It's taking a long time for things to improve, though. Still don't know what I'm
Doing, probably wait a little longer and get some intensive counseling.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Another child would only put more pressure in an already failing marriage.
He might feel you want another kid to force him to stay and then he'd run for the hills.
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