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sticky situation

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
My boyfriend lives with his mom, sister in law, brother and nephews and niece. And I live with my mom. We have always talked about being together and starting our own lives. We have been together for 7 years. He has a learning disability and I don't. We are also expecting our first child together in October. His mom says she doesn't want him to move out so I decided that since there house is to much for a baby to live there with no room, I will be living with my mom till I find a place. I would really like to move out with my boyfriend and actually be a family and start our lives like we always discussed.I love his family to death but sometimes I feel like they take control over him. It's like if I disagree they bark at me over me wanting to live on our own. The worse part is that his mom has guardian ship over him and she says she makes the rules and that he can't move out. It puts a lot of stress on our relationship and I really love him. We have been wanting to be on our own for a couple years now. Just don't know how to talk to his mom without making it seem rude.I'm to the point where he can just visit this baby when it gets here and I take custody of the child fully but I don't want to do that to him cause he isn't the problem. His family is. That have been so disrespectful throughout this pregnancy and everything.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 2, 2015 at 3:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jun. 2, 2015 at 4:02 PM
Assuming he is of legal age, why does he need a legal guardian? Perhaps if you get married, you could be his legal gaurdian. Talk to a lawyer.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 2, 2015 at 4:06 PM
Is he actually disabled? Like collecting diability? Maybe you don't know what type of care to provide him and she is worried about that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2015 at 4:18 PM

He is legal age, but its like his mother controls him and says I have no idea what I am saying. I am always there for him. He always tells me how he feels. But his mom says he doesnt know what he wants. And when he talks to me, he talks like a grown adult and his mother says hes functioning at a childs level which I have been around long enough that thats not true. 

Quoting EireLass: Assuming he is of legal age, why does he need a legal guardian? Perhaps if you get married, you could be his legal gaurdian. Talk to a lawyer.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 2, 2015 at 4:21 PM

Yes he is disabled and collects disability. I know his entire situation. I have been to his doctors appointments with him. We communitcate really well. His mother is just controling alot. He always tells me what he wants for himself. And his mother shuts him down. I have seen it. I have been with him long enough. He has told me in the past that he would like to live together. Now that this baby is on the way, I think we need to take that step cause its not fair to him or me that we are together and live apart like that

Quoting Anonymous 2: Is he actually disabled? Like collecting diability? Maybe you don't know what type of care to provide him and she is worried about that.


angl_gurl1
by on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this

talk to a lawyer

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 2, 2015 at 6:57 PM

I take it since you have been with him for 7 years you knew the situation.  Why have a baby with someone where you know there are the issues with his Mom and she has guardianship.  Did you think things would suddenly change?  It all sounds like a train wreck.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 2, 2015 at 10:29 PM

What exactly is wrong with him in medical terms?  How old are you two and are you two working full-time in order to keep an apartment; food; medical health insurance; furniture; car expenses; clothes...etc.?

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Yes he is disabled and collects disability. I know his entire situation. I have been to his doctors appointments with him. We communitcate really well. His mother is just controling alot. He always tells me what he wants for himself. And his mother shuts him down. I have seen it. I have been with him long enough. He has told me in the past that he would like to live together. Now that this baby is on the way, I think we need to take that step cause its not fair to him or me that we are together and live apart like that

Quoting Anonymous 2: Is he actually disabled? Like collecting diability? Maybe you don't know what type of care to provide him and she is worried about that.

 

 

PinkEminem
by Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 1:17 AM

Girrrrrrl, RUN. NOW!!! It can only get worse. Trust me. My ex's family (READ: EX'S) is just like that.

PinkButterfly66
by Member on Jun. 3, 2015 at 1:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Is it possible that she likes his disability money and that is why she's trying to maintain control?  Is he able to work at all?  Your first step would be a visit to Social Services and have him explain the situation his social worker and then get a lawyer if necessary to remove her as guardian.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 3, 2015 at 8:36 AM

How old ARE are you?

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