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Is this normal...?

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2017 at 5:49 PM
  • 13 Replies

When you have to stop to get gas and your have your kid(s) with you, do you have anxiety?  As soon as DS was able to unbuckle hit car seat, everytime I stepped out to get gas he would wreak havoc in my car.  I always took my keys, but he flips switches and opens windows and sometimes even tries to slide open the minivan door which would smash into the gas valave and my hand.  I'm always yelling through the window; telling him not to touch things or trying to keep him occupied.  DS has since been diagnosed with severe ADHD and early onset rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder with mostly Manic features.  I was thinking about those experiences and thinking how it was just normal every day life to me because DS is my only child. Suddenly it dawned on me...I don't think that's a normal reaction or normal behavior.  Do other parents of "normal" or neurotypical children relate to this experience?

by on Jun. 4, 2017 at 5:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
K3412
by on Jun. 4, 2017 at 5:50 PM
I've never had that problem at all. I can get gas with zero problem.

Can you get gas when he's not in the car?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 4, 2017 at 5:52 PM
I hate when parents excuse bad behavior "because he has adhd".
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 5, 2017 at 7:41 AM
We lived in nj where you are not allowed to pump your on gas.. that helped since my boys were 13 months apart .. that would take me forever to get them out then in then pump gas.
Now in Fl my boys are 11 and 10 and can watch the baby.

Yeh what you deal with is def stressful situation. Do you get any help? Emotional support or physical from family members?
mhagh
by Member on Jun. 5, 2017 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

Excuse me?!  I didn't want to give my DS's entire psychiatric history, but the ADHD isn't the main problem,  It's the mania that comes with the early onset rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder that results in A LOT of mania.  He also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  He was given these diagnoses by a neuropstchiatrist who did DAYS of testing.  His Bipolar Disorder is so severre that he is in an inpatient pediatric psychiatric facility right now!!  This isn't just a case of excusing bad behavior as adhd.  My DS has severe mental illness.  It just didn't dawn on me until recently that the whole situation I had when getting gas is a manifestation of DS's mental illness, not what parents of "normal" children experience.  So I made this post.  I'd like to see you try to de-escalate my DS when he's in a full-on manic rage!  You're rude, ignorant and devoid of compassion.  Who raised YOU?  What excuse did your parents give for your complete lack of social ettiquette?  At least my DS isn't an asshole.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I hate when parents excuse bad behavior "because he has adhd".


mhagh
by Member on Jun. 5, 2017 at 7:57 AM

I usually do.  Now that DS's 10yo and on some medications he's better able to control himself and I no longer have this problem.  I was just reflecting on it yesterday when I got gas and DS was no problem at all.

Quoting K3412: I've never had that problem at all. I can get gas with zero problem. Can you get gas when he's not in the car?


mhagh
by Member on Jun. 5, 2017 at 7:59 AM

I'm estranged fom my family so I don't have much support for myself personally.  My ex-husband and I are getting DS every kind of help available.

Quoting Anonymous 2: We lived in nj where you are not allowed to pump your on gas.. that helped since my boys were 13 months apart .. that would take me forever to get them out then in then pump gas. Now in Fl my boys are 11 and 10 and can watch the baby. Yeh what you deal with is def stressful situation. Do you get any help? Emotional support or physical from family members?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 5, 2017 at 8:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry Hun! I know it's stressful! And that's really hard!

I am sure you guys are doing a great job!

Quoting mhagh:

I'm estranged fom my family so I don't have much support for myself personally.  My ex-husband and I are getting DS every kind of help available.

Quoting Anonymous 2: We lived in nj where you are not allowed to pump your on gas.. that helped since my boys were 13 months apart .. that would take me forever to get them out then in then pump gas.
Now in Fl my boys are 11 and 10 and can watch the baby.

Yeh what you deal with is def stressful situation. Do you get any help? Emotional support or physical from family members?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 5, 2017 at 9:15 AM
Sadly some people can't read the whole thing.

She stop reading when she saw misbehavior and adhd. A big problem is that a lot of parent sof ADHD use the condition as an excuse for bad behavior and do nothing about it, specially those who don't medicate and that irritated other parents and teachers so if she's not a real a**hole, its lack of proper
Reading.

I'm sorry you are going through this and hope they can help your son to be able to function and have a fulfilling life.

And most NT kids don't behave like that. There are some who are not taught right and can behave like that but it's not the norm.

Quoting mhagh:

Excuse me?!  I didn't want to give my DS's entire psychiatric history, but the ADHD isn't the main problem,  It's the mania that comes with the early onset rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder that results in A LOT of mania.  He also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  He was given these diagnoses by a neuropstchiatrist who did DAYS of testing.  His Bipolar Disorder is so severre that he is in an inpatient pediatric psychiatric facility right now!!  This isn't just a case of excusing bad behavior as adhd.  My DS has severe mental illness.  It just didn't dawn on me until recently that the whole situation I had when getting gas is a manifestation of DS's mental illness, not what parents of "normal" children experience.  So I made this post.  I'd like to see you try to de-escalate my DS when he's in a full-on manic rage!  You're rude, ignorant and devoid of compassion.  Who raised YOU?  What excuse did your parents give for your complete lack of social ettiquette?  At least my DS isn't an asshole.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I hate when parents excuse bad behavior "because he has adhd".

jjsong
by New Member on Jun. 5, 2017 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this

My first thought, after reading your post and the responses, was your need for emotional support from other parents who are going through similar behavioral issues with their Bipolar children.  Has the pediatric psychiatric facility that he is currently in given you resources for parenting or parenting support groups and individual therapy for you and ex husband.   There may be community resources as well that your town or city has available.  I think that would help you feel less overwhelmed and savvy as to what to expect and to discern what may be normal, abnormal or just manipulation behavior that often goes on with all children and adults.  You will feel more confident in your ability to parent him.    Hang in there and find support for your personal needs as well. Hugs and prayers to you in this difficult period of time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 5, 2017 at 6:21 PM
I hate when people are assholes because they don't understand another person's life experience.
Mhagh: I didn't have your experience but I do have lingering trauma from dealing with some extreme mental health situations. ❤️Hang in there, find support wherever you can get it.

Quoting mhagh:

Excuse me?!  I didn't want to give my DS's entire psychiatric history, but the ADHD isn't the main problem,  It's the mania that comes with the early onset rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder that results in A LOT of mania.  He also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  He was given these diagnoses by a neuropstchiatrist who did DAYS of testing.  His Bipolar Disorder is so severre that he is in an inpatient pediatric psychiatric facility right now!!  This isn't just a case of excusing bad behavior as adhd.  My DS has severe mental illness.  It just didn't dawn on me until recently that the whole situation I had when getting gas is a manifestation of DS's mental illness, not what parents of "normal" children experience.  So I made this post.  I'd like to see you try to de-escalate my DS when he's in a full-on manic rage!  You're rude, ignorant and devoid of compassion.  Who raised YOU?  What excuse did your parents give for your complete lack of social ettiquette?  At least my DS isn't an asshole.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I hate when parents excuse bad behavior "because he has adhd".

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