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How did you decide to be a parent?

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2017 at 10:37 AM
  • 19 Replies

Hi All,

My husband and I are at that crossroad of life where we can comfortably think about children since we have arrived at a very peaceful position. We have very few financial worries, we work only 7 hours and that too on our own projects. We have cut our expenses by half this year and basically very relaxed in life. No stresses whatsoever, except that I am in my late 20s and him in his early 30s. We had been very busy before but after changing our lifestyle, our life has substantially changed and we enjoy it a lot. We were wondering if this is even for us. So what I really am asking is how did you know that you are a parent? We don't seem to have any inclinations, we feel very confused. Hence, it would be of benefit to us to know what signs to look for and who else to ask if not parents. Please be generous with your memories and help us make the biggest decision of our life.

by on Aug. 29, 2017 at 10:37 AM
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by on Aug. 29, 2017 at 5:04 PM

Hi - When I got married, my husband and I were both 26 years old. We decided not to have a baby yet because we wanted to enjoy our time being together. Both of us were working and we had the opportunity to travel to various countries in Asia, Europe and America. After almost 5 years of marriage, we decided to have a child because we realized we were emotionally and financially prepared. I gave birth 3 months before I turned 31 years old. Thankfully, money were not an issue so I decided to be a full time mom.

I hope this helps. I will be praying for you. 

by Ruby Member on Aug. 29, 2017 at 7:18 PM

I have 26 neices & nephews (7 brothers & sisters). I've always been around kids, of all ages. Always. I knew when I was 15 that I wanted to have kids. My fiance and I talked at length about it prior to getting married. 

Most of my closest friends are childless by choice. It's not for everyone, and that's ok!!

by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 29, 2017 at 9:51 PM
First I what feels right for you & your husband!

I got married the month before I turned 21, my husband was 22. We had been together 2 1/2 years before then. His job was outsourced to another country & he joined the military. We knew before he left that we wanted to be together & eventually have kids. We didn't have a plan or a timeline, just when it felt right. Fast forward 7 months, he was headed for a year deployment & we were both young & scared of the "what if's". We agreed to try before he left, if it happened it happened, if not we would try when he got home. Now we are in our early 30s, our son just started middle school. We love that he's "older" while we are "younger" and want to do fun things together. Once he turns 18 my husband will be at 20 years in the military, we will be in our early 40s and able to go do things we either couldn't do with a small child, or couldn't afford when we were younger. We own 2 homes, we both have great careers. We can provide things for our son that we didn't have as kids. This spring we bought a boat. It's brought the three of us even closer. My husband loves taking our son & his cousins and friends on the tubes, we take friends out & go to riverside restaurants, find beaches to pull out floats & hang out. He & I will go out just the two of us & talk about our day & unwind.

We may have done things "backwards" to a lot of people but we wouldn't trade that we've been able to all grow together, see new places, experience new things. And These are memories our son has as well.
by Stephanie on Aug. 31, 2017 at 8:23 AM
Always wanted to be a mom had my daughter at 21,got married, had son at 22,had son at 25
by Susie on Sep. 2, 2017 at 6:16 PM

We wanted to own a home first, have a decent savings and have dh not traveling a lot.  We were married nearly 7 years when dd arrived.  I was 30 right before dd was born.  

Most here seem to have kids that are not planned at least it seems that way.  I have never in my life seen so many BC failures.  

by Member on Sep. 2, 2017 at 6:19 PM
1 mom liked this
There was never any question. I knew from the time I was a child that I wanted to be a mom.
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2017 at 8:29 AM

I decided to become a parent when I found out I was pregnant. He was completely unplanned and he's been the greatest joy of my life for almost 30 years.

by Member on Sep. 3, 2017 at 12:12 PM

If you are ready to give up sleep and any free time at all.....the  you are ready to have kids. I wanted a child since I was 5 years old. I wanted to get pregnant but my body never allowed it I guess. After being told I would be unable to have kids, I got pregnant unexpectedly at 32. I can tell you my husband wasn't ready at the time. He was scared. He was 30 (SMH). I was bored and felt like something was missing. I had been begging to have a chils for so long. That is all I remember.BTW....many people don't choose to get just happens and you just figure it out.

by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 6:30 PM
I always wanted to be a mother . But I knew it was best to be married and spend a couple years getting to know my DH and being financially in good shape before getting pregnant. I had three great kids . I was so grateful and happy to have them.
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 23, 2017 at 6:32 PM

did you guys say you wanted to have children eventually since you have been together? me and my DH always knew that's what we wanted. so once we were in our 30's we knew it was time. :)

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