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what to do about deadbeat dads?

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2008 at 9:47 PM
  • 5 Replies

My 4yr old son absolutly loves his dad i mean almost to the point of worship..His dad however isn't so into my son... He is 20 with no job living in a garage...he also has another son who is 4mnths old and the only time he see's my son is when my son visists his parents house, which has once a week, I however put an end to that for the fact that my son would come home and not like my husband anymore and constanly remind my husband that he has a dad...Is it wrong for me to not let my sons dad see him until he gives me child support and can sit down and talk like an adult with my husband and I ?

by on Feb. 1, 2008 at 9:47 PM
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CafeMom Admin
by Group Admin on Feb. 2, 2008 at 12:29 AM
Hi amywantsababy,

In addition to posting your question here, you may also want to join one of the groups on CafeMom and post your question there too.

You may be interested in this group: Dealing with Deadbeat Dads: http://www.cafemom.com/group/35559/
You can also search for a group based on your interests at: http://www.cafemom.com/groups/find.php

We hope you enjoy CafeMom!

< The CafeMom Admin Team
kattincolorado
by on Feb. 2, 2008 at 10:49 AM
contact your local child support office, and there they will take his tax refunds, and/or get his deivers license, until he takes action to support his child.

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mixedmutts
by on Feb. 2, 2008 at 9:38 PM
ABSOLUTLY NOT!!!   AS THE SAYING GOES   ANY MAN CAN BE A FATHER...BUT IT TAKES A REAL MAN TO BE A  DAD...HE IS TOO YOUNG, TO IMMATURE AND DOES NOT REALIZE THE GIFT HE HAS.   I WOULD CONTACT FRIEND OF THE COURT OR WHAT EVER YOUR STATE HAS TO HELP YOU WITH CHILD SUPPORT.  AND KEEP A LOG OF THE VISITS, HOW YOUR SON ACTS WHEN HE RETURNS, THE WAY THE FATHER ACTS TOWARDS HIS CHILD ETC......THE TIME TO STOP YOU SON FROM BEING HURT BY THIS MAN IS NOW!!!  NOT WHEN HE IS 6 OR 7 AND TO OLD TO FORGET THE HURT.     TAKE A STAND, YOUR SON COMES FIRST.  
312mommy
by on Feb. 2, 2008 at 11:57 PM

My so is only 2 years old but I have dealt with the fact that his father will have little or nothing to do with him. He says he loves his son and calls me a horrible mother because I don't buy name brand clothes for HIS son, and says I 'll make him gay because I don't let him act like a thug. His father is 24 going on 12. I said that to say, I understand. Squeeze him until pennies pop from his nostrils. 20 years from now when your BD realizes he lost out on knowing a perfectly wonderful young man, or attibutes his flaws to his own absence YOUR son will already know who LOVES him and will not have missed out on what money can buy in the meantime

GrandmaBarbara
by on Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:11 PM
I know and understand how you feel...my daughter has the same issues as you do.  Her X went back home to live with his Mommy, drives her car because his truck was repo'd and he hasn't worked for a year.  I say if you don't have to allow him to see your son keep him out of his life as it doesn't sound like he adds anything to his life at this time.  We can only pray that he grows up  before it is too late.  As a grandmother I wonder about his parents.  If they are a good people, I hope that something can be worked out for them to have time your son.  I would hate not to be able to spend time with my grandchildren as they are truly a blessing to have.  My husband and I cherish our time with them and enjoy participating in their lives.
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