Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

The Grandma attacks! (kinda long)

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:42 PM
  • 10 Replies
ok so i told mom sons grandma her son couldn't see mathew(my son) at first she was fine with it until last night.. I called to check on mathew and tell him i love him..anyway mathew gets on the phone and starts whispering "I'm not going to tell her" My 4yr old doesn't understand that i can hear him whispering to his g-ma so i got stern with him and demanded he tell me "what he's not going to tell me"he starts getting upset and his g-ma grabs the phone and tells me not to get mad at Mathew for something i'm mad at..with a total lack of respect she laid it down for me about how she wont keep her son from mathew and i just have to deal with it...Well the convo went on for about 30mins she touched all the bases in her assult on my and my new husband (his job,his mom,ect...) No honestly i think that me letting her see mathew once a week is a privilege (dont get me wrong i appreciate the time off as well) and that she should appreciate that  i do that...I dont think she realizes she has no rights to my son(or does she?)Ugh...Basically i'm thinking about keeping him from his g-ma as well until she can respect my decisions to keep her son out of my childs life until he can clean up his act.... Am I wrong for doing this?
by on Feb. 3, 2008 at 12:42 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bdave00
by on Feb. 3, 2008 at 11:50 PM

As a mother your number one concern is for your child. If you have good reasons to keep him from anyone, that is your choice. My husband and I don't let his mother take our children anywhere. We do not trust her decisions. No telling where our children would end up.  If she can not respect your decisions, she should not see your child without you there.

Bethanie

mixedmutts
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 12:49 PM
Your child is YOUR child  and as a nana, I would understand if my daughter was having a hard time with her childrens father and did not want him to see them. It is YOUR choice, unless there is a court order for visitations, on WHO sees your child. If the grandmom is letting the father see him, she will most likely not stop him if he wants to take the boy someplace, then what??? Your FIRST prioritiy is your childs safety, and is she cannot respect your wishes, then she will just have to see him at your home. And no, she does not have rights to him, they repealed the grandparents law some time ago. You can always check with legal aide, or someplace like that to be extra sure.
Newcreature584
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 1:01 PM
My very 1st question is what is she saying to the child that he was supposed to tell you? I find this plain and simply sickening in the first place. Is that woman physologically stable, Absolutely,  I would keep him away from her, she will not respect your guidelines with YOUR son. My state does not have grandparent's rights. I don't know about yours, Seriously please check that out.  He does not have to play the "Who do I love more/Who am I suppose to mind" game. That crazy ol' bat!  No disrespect to you That woman pisses me off way 1ooos of miles away im sure.
MaggL6
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 1:34 PM
I understand her wanting her son to be able to see your son, but she said she would follow your wishes.  Then she allowed him to see your son and asked your son to LIE about it.  I would be super pissed.  There are grandparents rights, but I don't know all the particulars about them.  You may want to look that up.  I think the wellbeing of your child is your first concern, and if she's violating that you have every right to keep your son away.  Good luck.

Mom to two crazy, amazing, wonderful, beautiful kids.

Independent Coach with MDB/ Beach Body.

www.milliondollarbody.com/MaggL

 

mom2adultsons
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 2:28 PM
you know, you might want to check the laws in your state.  His father MIGHT have the right to see his son...as probably his grandma.  I'm not bashing you, I'm just letting you know that IF there's any court ordered visitiation, & you take that away from his dad, the dad can (many dads do this)...& quite possibly might go to court for full custody!  If it was a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, & the father pays nothing, then, you have every right to keep him from his dad...BUT, I'd think twice about that.  I'd hate to hear that your son (when he gets older) hates you for not letting him visit his dad or his grandparents.  I realize that we all WANT to do what we think is right, but, we've got to know where to draw the lines.  I've been there, done ALL of that!!!  Good luck with his problem!  It's tough & I'm sure you'll do what is right for your son, you, & your son's daddy!!!
Hugs

If you need more help, feel free to PM me.  I'll be glad to help in any way I can.
benannamom
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 6:04 PM
I don't think it is good to let him stay with his Grandma either .... You said the father needs to "clean up his act".     I am not sure what that all involves but if he is into drugs etc. I definitely agree with you..!  I also know from personal experience that unless he is paying child support he has NO rights what so ever to that child --  PERIOD!!!   As far as the grandma is concerned -she is teaching him to be deceitful not only to himself but to everyone... NOT A GOOD VALUE IN MY OPINION TO BE TEACHING A 4 year old boy!
Adkins4
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 7:29 PM
As a young mother myself, I had my oldest daughter with a dead beat, left him found a wonderful man and we have been married 5 yrs. now....My ex only wanted to see my daughter when he was able to see me because he wasn't over me.....Finally he decided to sign over his parental rights to my husband and he has adopted my daughter...I am lucky enough that she was only 9mo when I started to see my now husband so she has no recollection of the "sperm donar" I did let her paternal grandma see her for a while until one day she came home and told me that her grandma was telling her that Marc was her daddy and my husband was not, not only that but she told her then at the age of 4 that I was a liar and a bad mommy! My suggestion is if the father of your son does not have any rights that you keep him away as long as you can, if they take legal action then it is out of your hands, but I wish you the best!!!
dkl941
by on Feb. 4, 2008 at 10:58 PM
No you are not wrong...That is your son..not grandma son! Tell if she can't go by your rules...she can't see her grandson any more. She has no right to walk over you.   
teka04
by on Feb. 5, 2008 at 3:05 AM
No. Of course you're not wrong. It's a luxury for her to even see him and if she can't respect your wishes on that matter she shouldn't be able to have that luxury. Your son is far to important here and he is your #1 concern!!!

Teresah
-- Helping Moms Work From Home!--

www.themomteam.com/Teresah

 

autonoe
by on Feb. 5, 2008 at 5:51 PM
ok my thing with the whle not seeing dad issue and grandma is   how does your son feel about it
if he wants to tlak to his father make sure it is only when you are present  but dont take that away from him 
my kids are 5 and 2 and they miss their dad and they are ordered by the state to not see him unless around their grandma
me and her only get alone because of the kids   so she only sees them when i want to go out there. she never gets them alone because i dont feel comfertable living them out there and because of how inmature their dad acts i dont let them see him even with her there without me beign present
but in my opinion which you dont have to take,   dont take the father completely away or the grandma because yes you are punishing them  but you are punishing your son too
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN