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Question for Separated/Divorced people

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 2:30 PM
  • 8 Replies
Okay so I have a minor issue but I would like an answer to it if I could.  If you get a divorce or are Separated with your SO.   Is it still appropriate, to show pictures of the two of you together. 

For instance, a family picture, or picture of you and your EX together, should this still be seen on a wall, at Grandma & Grandpas house?? Or should it be taken down? Or is it still okay?  What are your thoughts? 

What do you do with them? They are part of the family history etc, but is it fair to the new SO/wife/Husband?  Also, what about the kids?  If they were young and don't even remember the parents really being together do you think it plays a mental role with them?  What are your thoughts?  Just curious.



Just to be sure, I'm not saying they should be thrown away or burned or never discussed because it is part of the family's past, BUT just wondering what is the proper thing to do?  So you don't offend anyone.

by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 2:30 PM
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Replies (1-8):
GOBryan
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 2:35 PM
I had an amicable divorce with my ex and we're friends (acquaintances).  We don't hate eachother and share a daughter between us. We get along for the most part though.
After the divorce and I got together with my current husband, my parents just took down the photos and put them in storage.  I also have my old wedding photos, etc.. put away and will give them to my daughter, when she's an adult. They become her property. After all, we are her parents. But I would expect them to be for her personal viewing and not to just display them, unless they are family pics, with her included in those photos.
1stTime_Grandma
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 2:48 PM
Both my mother and mother in law took the pictures down, and stored them. I still have the wedding album, and like the woman above me said, I will give it to my children, for them to do with what they want.
Any pictures of "us" as a family go into the kids albums.

I still display one of me from my wedding, only because it's a great picture ! My S.O understands that this was a part of my life, just like I have to understand that his son wants pictures of his mom around.
tinkerbelle18
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 2:55 PM
It definitely depends on the situation. My divorce was so messy (and because of the abuse from my ex) I got rid of all the pictures of him.It was part of my healing process. But I have friends who still have their pictures of their ex. Maybe you should just ask the person so there's no hard feelings or discomfort for anyone. Best of luck,
                                Tink
TJKUHN76
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 3:06 PM
It is a BITTER Divorce.  To the point where they are fighting over belongings etc.  So I know for a fact the pictures are not something this divorcee likes to see.  Just wondering how you all felt about people displaying them, as they are still current.  My mother being old fashioned thinks I'm over reacting and that the picture should stay.

I also completely agree with you ladies that say you are keeping them for your kids when they get older.  That I believe is what should be done with them, But when they are appopriate age.

LdyWlf
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 3:39 PM
They should be removed and put away  in photo albums or storage or something.  My DH and I have been together for 5 yrs.... he's been divorced from his ex-wife 8yrs... his mom STILL has their wedding pictures on the wall right when you walk in the door.  My DH says until they are taken down we will not be over.... We gave them family pics for Christmas last yr and she stuck them in a corner where no one could see them....

tinadf7
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 3:46 PM
My parents and my ex's parents kept up our homecoming/prom/wedding and family photos. It doesn't bother either of us. It was bitter too. We've been divorced longer than we were married now and the pics of us together of mine are put away or in the kids rooms - I'm not sure about his - I've never gone poking around his place to find out..............
TINA        lIVE FULLY, LAUGH DAILY, LOVE  UNCONDITIONALLY INDEPENDANT AVON SALES REPRESENTATIVE WWW.YOURAVON.COM/TFRANCISCO
LdyWlf
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 4:00 PM
in our case my mil would love to see them back together... no matter how many times she hit him or throw him out in the streets or cheated on him.... so she keeps them up because she's living in a dream world.
Quoting tinadf7:

My parents and my ex's parents kept up our homecoming/prom/wedding and family photos. It doesn't bother either of us. It was bitter too. We've been divorced longer than we were married now and the pics of us together of mine are put away or in the kids rooms - I'm not sure about his - I've never gone poking around his place to find out..............

TJKUHN76
by on Apr. 2, 2008 at 9:05 PM
That is just crazy!!!   His own mother should have some respect for him.  How sad.
Quoting LdyWlf:

in our case my mil would love to see them back together... no matter how many times she hit him or throw him out in the streets or cheated on him.... so she keeps them up because she's living in a dream world.
Quoting tinadf7:

My parents and my ex's parents kept up our homecoming/prom/wedding and family photos. It doesn't bother either of us. It was bitter too. We've been divorced longer than we were married now and the pics of us together of mine are put away or in the kids rooms - I'm not sure about his - I've never gone poking around his place to find out..............

Theresa

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