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The Parental Job Description

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:48 PM
  • 6 Replies



This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would do it or have done it!

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


JOB DESCRIPTION:


Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 
Candidates must possess excellent communication 
And organizational skills and be willing to work 
Variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 
And frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 
Some overnight travel required, including trips to Primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 
Extensive courier duties also required. 

RESPONSIBILITIES:


The rest of your life. 
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. 
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly, also, must possess the physical stamina of a Pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat In case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, Such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. 
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and Coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. 
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. 
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and Janitorial work throughout the facility. 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:


None. 
Your job is to remain in t! he same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, 
So that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
 
PREVIOU S EXPERIENCE
:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION
:

Get this!   You pay them! 
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because Of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. 
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS
:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, 
No tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 
No stock options are offered; 
This job supplies limitless opportunities f or personal growth, unconditional love, 
And free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
 


Forward this on to all the 
PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...
Or forward with love
To anyone thinking of applying for the job.
 

             
   ** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT  --  EVER!!! * *

I am NOT a bad mom because I am a... front facing at 1 AND 20, breast and bottle feeding, CIO, vaxing, suicide survivor, montessori-school sending (but will be public schooling), time-out giving, unmarried, ex-smoking, SUV driving, church going, working, college attending, tipping the waitress for a job well done (and I've been there), non co-sleeping, Obama voting, Roseanne is my Hero Momma! Now put on your big girl panties and realize that I am not you!

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:48 PM
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Replies (1-6):
HaydensMommy007
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:57 PM

CMAU!

taleyu1432
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:58 PM

lmao  how true is this huh !

okrasin
by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM

? what does that mean?

Quoting HaydensMommy007:

CMAU!


HaydensMommy007
by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 12:01 AM

CMAU- crackin my a$$ up

Quoting okrasin:

? what does that mean?

Quoting HaydensMommy007:

CMAU!



okrasin
by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 12:01 AM

thanks...lol I was wracking my brain trying to figure it out..

Quoting HaydensMommy007:

CMAU- crackin my a$$ up

Quoting okrasin:

? what does that mean?

Quoting HaydensMommy007:

CMAU!




zoeysmom331
by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 12:04 AM

LOL, I was trying to figure that one out too!

Quoting okrasin:

thanks...lol I was wracking my brain trying to figure it out..

Quoting HaydensMommy007:

CMAU- crackin my a$$ up

Quoting okrasin:

? what does that mean?

Quoting HaydensMommy007:

CMAU!





I am NOT a bad mom because I am a... front facing at 1 AND 20, breast and bottle feeding, CIO, vaxing, suicide survivor, montessori-school sending (but will be public schooling), time-out giving, unmarried, ex-smoking, SUV driving, church going, working, college attending, tipping the waitress for a job well done (and I've been there), non co-sleeping, Obama voting, Roseanne is my Hero Momma! Now put on your big girl panties and realize that I am not you!

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