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this pisses me off sooooo much

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:36 AM
  • 14 Replies

I know this is a long little rant---but it felt good to get it out :-)

 

So there was this big ordeal last night at my parents house. Aiden and I go over there once or twice a week for dinner; that is really the only time my Mom and step-dad see him. He is usually not in the best mood, (1) he has just come from daycare and misses his mommy so he wants me to pay attention to him and (2) he usually is hungry and tired. I try to take him home and let him get a little nap in, but that still doesnt solve the first issue. My step-dad insist that he is spoiled. He thinks that I am too "soft" on him.

For instance, last night I put him in the highchair and my mom gave him some puffs to snack on before dinner. He grabbed a handfull and nonchalantly dropped them over the edge of the highchair. I was across the kitchen so when he picked up some more I said "Aiden-NO" and he put them down. My mom picked up the cereal from the floor and the rest from his tray and said "well if you are going to throw them you cant have them"

In my opinion that was sufficient, he was told NO he obeyed and the food was removed.. but my step-dad thinks he also deserved a swat on the hand. Had he done it again AFTER I said no, he may have gotten a little tap.. but he listened!! Then later i went to put him on the floor and he arched his back and started crying, my step-dad said I should pop him and put him in a room alone for a minute, then take him out and if he does it again pop him again.. I set him down pushed the squeaker on a toy a couple times and got him interested in his toys, he cried for about 30 seconds...BIG DEAL... he is 11 months old; he doesnt understand, he just want his mommy's attention!!!

My mother and I tried to explain this to my step-dad but he is adamant that I'm caught up in this "new-age pansy parenting" where you only use words and shield your child from EVERYTHING... I am far from a new-age parent. No I dont think my son should be plopped in front a tv at daycare especially not during meal times.. I pay good money and expect them to do more than turn on a freaking tv. I dont let him drink soda, and I dont spank him. I am not against spankings but I want to reserve those for truly BAD behavior, an 11 month old wanting me to sit down and play with him is NOT bad behavior, he doesnt HAVE words to say "mommy play with me" so he cries!! GAH! im so frustrated!!


I'll do it my way, you do it yours. :-)

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thebestbrianne
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:40 AM

Wow, well you certainly don't wan't him to grow up with the attitude your step-dad has, I imagine that's what getting smacked over every little thing gets you. Why would you spank a baby? My daughter is 16 months and we just now have started resorting to occasionally spanks, but only if what she is doing is dangerous and I've already told her to stop.

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Journey81
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:41 AM

Doesn't sound like someone I would want around my child.

maryinger
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:41 AM

you have every right to rant. that is YOUR child. i think it's going to come down to you telling ol' step-daddy that he's your child and not his and that you'll parent him as you see fit. and if it causes this much of a problem, your visits will be fewer and farther between.

HaydensMommy007
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:42 AM

Tell your dumb dumb step dad to shut up and shove it.

Your child is just that...YOUR child. NOT anyone else's.

You get to make the rules, you get to decide what happens or doesnt happen to your child.

If he cant respect you and your choices, invite your mother over to your house instead and dont invite him


dancer33
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:44 AM
i agree with your thinking. It's a shame you can't at least get your point across to your step-dad so he does get upset every time something happens.







theskillfactor
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:44 AM

Wether he is right or not (I am leaning more to the not part of that) He is YOUR son, so you get to raise him how YOU see fit, not your step dad. I understand the mommy time. I am a SAHM, and if I am away from my son for any time, when I get back he is glued to me. And dropping things off a high chair is normal. They are discovering gravity. I think you handled that very well.

Kaleena99
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:49 AM

my friends mom spanked her kid once and she got really mad and started yelling at her and told her that she's his mom she can handle him and if she's going to hit her kid then she's not comeing over again and her mom never did it again she backed off so maybe you should tell your step dad that your his mother and if he can't let you dicaplin him in your own way then your not comeing over anymore. even if it's a bluff he might take you seriously

AMsMommy212
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:49 AM


Quoting HaydensMommy007:

Tell your dumb dumb step dad to shut up and shove it.

Your child is just that...YOUR child. NOT anyone else's.

You get to make the rules, you get to decide what happens or doesnt happen to your child.

If he cant respect you and your choices, invite your mother over to your house instead and dont invite him


That is basically where we left off last night, that perhaps I shouldnt be coming over in the evenings anymore since Aiden is never in a very good mood.

I have to keep things civil though since I work for him :-)

coffeefirst
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:50 AM

Your stepdad (no offense) is an idiot. You're doing it right. 

AMsMommy212
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:52 AM

That is the hardest part.. making him realize that Aiden is still a baby.. he isnt a 2 or 3 year old throwing a tantrum he is a BABY.  He doesnt really remember what it was like having a baby around (my youngest brother is 15) so I really try to talk to him... Once my mom was out of the conversation it was a little easier, she got very defensive from the get-go and made it into more of an arguement than a discussion...

Quoting dancer33:

i agree with your thinking. It's a shame you can't at least get your point across to your step-dad so he does get upset every time something happens.


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