• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He has checked out!

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 10:53 AM
  • 15 Replies

Well what do you do when your husband has checked out and you have no more energy to keep trying. We haven't even been married a year yet and he has already lost all interest in me we hardly even talk. I know after time things lose some of the new excitement the sizzle but holly crap does that mean he wont even kiss me goodnight our show any affection what so ever. For instince we went to dinner and he sat across the table from me we hardly talked when we went home he took  a shower and went tot bed i cant remember the last time we had sex when i wanted to its only when he does and that's maybe once a month if I'm lucky. Hes not a real horn dog like most guys but he use to hold my hand when we went out now he stands about three feet away and doesnt really look at me. Not long ago we used to sneak out to the car for a quickie lol. Not anymore i just don't have the energy to keep trying to have fun with him i cant we got two kids and i work just has much as he dose  and i just cant I'm so drained. I f i try to talk to him about it he just gets mad. I'm at my last straw i just hate coming home. What can I do?????

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 10:53 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
autumnsmommy02
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 10:57 AM

My marriage went to heck about 3 mos. into it. I hate being here and look so anxiously to the day I'm free.

       
             

Da1nOnlyDestiny
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 10:58 AM

has anything happened to or around him recently? is he even happy? doesnt seem to be.


                                    

ColeyRene
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:00 AM

What are you waiting for?

Quoting autumnsmommy02:

My marriage went to heck about 3 mos. into it. I hate being here and look so anxiously to the day I'm free.


HaileysMommy130
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:06 AM

i know what you mean....my SO and i have been together for 7 years and we have went through a lot of up and downs. dont take it personally...life is just depressing right now with all the stuff to think about thats going on with the world and bills and so on and so on. sounds like you gave up too. dont. just keep trying, if he doesnt give you a kiss goodnight, give him one, give him hugs, tell him you love him. if you guys get a few minutes alone like when hes in the shower go and talk to him. this isnt the only time this is going to happen in the lifetime of your marriage, be prepared for next time. my So and I are on a no sex spree but 3 weeks ago all we did was have sex! relationships are difficult!

*Hailey Dorothy* January 30th, 2007 @3:04pm  *My 1 and only Lil'Princess*

autumnsmommy02
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:08 AM

 I'm on a waiting list for housing to help me get a place cause on my income alone I can't afford a place along with a 7 yr. old, a 7 mo. old and other bills. I have about a yr. yet to wait until my name will even come up. I don't have any family to stay with so that's not an option either.

Quoting ColeyRene:

What are you waiting for?

Quoting autumnsmommy02:

My marriage went to heck about 3 mos. into it. I hate being here and look so anxiously to the day I'm free.

 


       
             

ColeyRene
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:10 AM

Oh...ok. I wasnt mocking you or anything. Im almost in the same boat as you. I want to make it work, but I have recently found out some lies that he told me that just suck. I'd be in the same boat as you though...no family in this state, no friends, because we have only lived here for 6 months....no nothing.

Quoting autumnsmommy02:

 I'm on a waiting list for housing to help me get a place cause on my income alone I can't afford a place along with a 7 yr. old, a 7 mo. old and other bills. I have about a yr. yet to wait until my name will even come up. I don't have any family to stay with so that's not an option either.

Quoting ColeyRene:

What are you waiting for?

Quoting autumnsmommy02:

My marriage went to heck about 3 mos. into it. I hate being here and look so anxiously to the day I'm free.




charlie06
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:12 AM

You got to do things alittle differant to bring back the old spice in your marriage. You have to talk and  communitcate. IT's hard to keep things going and one year I think is the hardest, but keep trying. At a year you kinda get in to routine and it's the same ole same ole. But, you both have to work at it to make it work.

autumnsmommy02
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:34 AM

It's a rough situation to be in and I can't wait. It's miserable to wake up every morning and wish you were somewhere else or with someone else. I had a choice to leave him and be with someone else a few years back but I chose to let my relationship run it's course. I don't just give up on one guy to go to another for no reason. We were happy. 

I started to have issues with my ex. (dd's bio father). He didn't want our dd and didn't want to pay child support but my bf did want her. He was close to her and since he was with her since she was 3 yrs. old, she knew him as her daddy. He said he wanted to get married an adopt her. 3 months after the marriage I found out I was pregnant with our son. I was so happy.

UNTIL ... We were joking around and it came out that he never wanted to get married and only said "I do" for my dd's sake. I was crushed. I thought he married me because he loved me but was mortified to find out I was wrong. He told me he'd have never married me. He didn't ever want to get married. It's been going downhill ever since.

Quoting ColeyRene:

Oh...ok. I wasnt mocking you or anything. Im almost in the same boat as you. I want to make it work, but I have recently found out some lies that he told me that just suck. I'd be in the same boat as you though...no family in this state, no friends, because we have only lived here for 6 months....no nothing.

Quoting autumnsmommy02:

 I'm on a waiting list for housing to help me get a place cause on my income alone I can't afford a place along with a 7 yr. old, a 7 mo. old and other bills. I have about a yr. yet to wait until my name will even come up. I don't have any family to stay with so that's not an option either.

Quoting ColeyRene:

What are you waiting for?

Quoting autumnsmommy02:

My marriage went to heck about 3 mos. into it. I hate being here and look so anxiously to the day I'm free.

 

 

 


       
             

autumnsmommy02
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:37 AM

Keep trying to talk to him and see if he'll do counseling or talk to you about things. Let him know if he's not willing to work on things than it may be better for you both to seperate. Is there any aid you can get like housing assistance or financial help through DHS for extra money to help with the kids until your financially stable?

I myself am on waiting lists for aid so my kids and I can leave.

Quoting Krissye30:

Well what do you do when your husband has checked out and you have no more energy to keep trying. We haven't even been married a year yet and he has already lost all interest in me we hardly even talk. I know after time things lose some of the new excitement the sizzle but holly crap does that mean he wont even kiss me goodnight our show any affection what so ever. For instince we went to dinner and he sat across the table from me we hardly talked when we went home he took  a shower and went tot bed i cant remember the last time we had sex when i wanted to its only when he does and that's maybe once a month if I'm lucky. Hes not a real horn dog like most guys but he use to hold my hand when we went out now he stands about three feet away and doesnt really look at me. Not long ago we used to sneak out to the car for a quickie lol. Not anymore i just don't have the energy to keep trying to have fun with him i cant we got two kids and i work just has much as he dose  and i just cant I'm so drained. I f i try to talk to him about it he just gets mad. I'm at my last straw i just hate coming home. What can I do?????

 

       
             

Krissye30
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:00 PM

wow you got bigger problems then me but its nice to know there are other people that feel the same and I'm not a needy sico our something well i know I'm not but he makes me feel that way

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)