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would I be going too far with your child?piog

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:38 PM
  • 16 Replies

I have it on good authority some of the ninety teens I am bussing to NYC from the suburbs for my dd's sweet 16 party are going to try to bring booze on in tiny bottles or water bottles or someway concealed.

I plan on having my chaperones say the following on the high school campus where they get on the buses (dropped off by parents, sitters, etc. I heard already sometimes having had drinks).

We are saying: Here's the Deal:  Right now, anything you have on you will be put in a bag and you will not get in trouble--anything remotely that might be alchohol or a susbstance or refreshment.,  The club supplies all refreshments--so all juice, water, refreshment of any type can be turned over here--it may not be brought in alchohol or not..

However, the Club has very strict rules which we have no control over.  There is surveillance all over the club, in addition to chaperones and security everywhere.  If you are seen even in a bathroom stall drinking or taking anything, we have no control over what the security can do with you.  They may call the police.  We cannot stop them--it is not our facility. 

So, now we are going to check you in as they will at the club--only they will even be stricter--

Now kids have to open their handbags, pockets, etc. and they will be checked for alchohol.

I have alerady called all the parents and told them I am checking before the bus--and they are grateful.  Kids have been taken away drunk by ambulance in the past etc. 

My dd said to me--when I said look, honey, just be straight with me:  are they going to sneak in booze.  She said yes.  Not my friends.  They aren't that stupid. Bus number one is ok--but some kids on bus number two probably will.

I said do you care how hard I come down on them?  She said, no.

One mother she didn't want to be the bad guy--so she sat all night at her sweet sixteen party with a girl who had the "flu" but was really drunk.

Anyreaction, tips or input appreciated.  Almost all parents are trusting me to keep their kids safe and out of the way of a boozed environment.  I gave them my word.

 

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alexisw
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:45 PM

Not at all - I think you are being a responsible parent. I think it's good that you called the parents beforehand to let them know. I'd feel much more comfortable with my child going knowing that you are checking for that stuff. Good job!

 


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Domzmom2005
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:48 PM

I don't think that you are doing anything wrong...you want your daughter's party to be safe and fun...booze and teenagers don't mix well and besides you will have enough on your hands with all the regular drama of a teem gathering to have to worry about people getting messed up

heatherann4
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:52 PM

i am not understanding something. why would kids be there that aren't her "friends"?

but no, you aren't coming down too hard

i would much rather a mom call me and tell me that my kid brought in alcohol, and for me to come get them, then for my kid to be puking, or end up in an ambulance, or jail.

i would do the same thing.

after all, YOU ARE PAYING FOR THE SHINDIG, RIGHT? then it's your RESPONSIBILITY to the club to make sure that stuff DOES NOT go down.

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vbongard
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:54 PM

I would appreciate what you are doing.  I think it is a great idea, and bravo to you.

mamaoftwins9197
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:57 PM

I don't think you're going too far at all.  But you said that your DD said the people you might have problems with are not her friends...why are they even coming?


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momtoamo
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 1:18 PM

If something happened to these kids, it would be on you.  Even if they brought it in themselves, you would be responsible.  I say go on you.  They want to drink then do not come.

l

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 25, 2009 at 2:12 PM

90 kids is crazy to me, but you can bet someone will try and sneak something in, in a sock, somehow or drink before. 

Lanasmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 2:19 PM

Sounds like yoru doing what you can--but its hard. Teens hide alcohol in mouthwash bottles--i woudl say anything liquid gets turned over.

baby

pregnant

dishingmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 2:43 PM

Thanks so much--it helps me be strict in a kind way to have your input!

Quoting vbongard:

I would appreciate what you are doing.  I think it is a great idea, and bravo to you.


dishingmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 2:46 PM

She is in the same grade with all the kids--not all her friends.  We didn't want to leave anyone out.  A number of moms try to invite the whole grade, even if they are not the ones you are really friends with.  It never hurts to get an invitation--but it can hurt a kid to not get one.  We have never left a kid out except at a small get together.  But other than that we try to help foster school spirit and class togetherness as this school needs it being so spread out.  Thanks for your response.  I really appreciate it.

Quoting heatherann4:

i am not understanding something. why would kids be there that aren't her "friends"?

but no, you aren't coming down too hard

i would much rather a mom call me and tell me that my kid brought in alcohol, and for me to come get them, then for my kid to be puking, or end up in an ambulance, or jail.

i would do the same thing.

after all, YOU ARE PAYING FOR THE SHINDIG, RIGHT? then it's your RESPONSIBILITY to the club to make sure that stuff DOES NOT go down.


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