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i can't stand my soon to be mother in law UPDATE

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 7:54 PM
  • 10 Replies

My baby shower is Feb 22nd and this is my first baby. Well my SO's mom who hasn't done anything for the shower besides give everyone her two cents....told my SO today that she thinks he should be there to help me open presents bc I'm so shy. wtf! I barely talk to the women bc she never comes over and my SO can't even stand her bc she's so fake. She's trying to take over the baby shower. It's all women and it's at a restaurant/hall. Then she keeps insisting that my SO's daughters be there they are 8 and 10. My SO said they would just be bored bc there's no other kids coming and they tend to be a lot of commotion. So we decided we would celebrate with them after the shower with another cake and decorations and i could show them everything i got. My SO even said it's supposed to be about me and the baby for the shower. I'm so sick of her...now she doesn't even want me to open presents.       

Update:

My SO's mom called my mother today and first of all

1. Suggests that my mom have everyone wrap my presents in clear cellophane so I don't need to open them since I'm so shy. (If she wasn't so judgemental maybe I'd talk to her more plus I barely see the women.) My mom told her no way.

2. My mom wanted to decorate an umbrella for me for the shower and my SO's mom was like I was at a baby shower yesterday and they don't do that anymore.

3. My SO bought a big wicker chair to decorate for me sit in it was like $35 for 2 of them his mom said she wasted her money.

4. She told my mom she isn't getting us a present till after the shower and keeps complaining that she needs a 2nd job...the women has a new car, 2 houses one in the suburbs of Philadelphia and one in NJ off the bay for the summer, she goes on more vacations than anyone I know always has her hair and nails done ect. I mean she hasn't spent a dime on the shower yet and   I don't need anything expensive...christ she can spend $10 on her grandaughter I'm sure.

5. My mom told her a woman she is friends with makes cakes as a business and mom wants her to make the cake. Well SO's mom says that will cost extra since they charge a serving fee at the hall if you aren't buying their cake. Yet she wants to make some kind of alcoholic punch to bring to the shower since we aren't having alcohol and she doesn't want people to have to buy their own drink at the bar. Hello they charge a serving fee for that to since it isn't their drink. What a contradiction.

My poor mom is the type that tries to get along with everyone and doesn't like to start fights. I'm borderline starting to hate the woman which I don't want to since its my baby's grandmom.  

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by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 7:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Aamy
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2009 at 7:57 PM

Its your shower. Tell her NO and that you are doing it the way you want. I personally had a BBQ where men and women where invited and i wanted my DH there. But everyone wants and likes different things. Do what YOU want for YOUR shower hun.

 


Only half the patients who go into an abortion clinic come out alive. ~Author Unknown

If it isn't a baby, then you aren't pregnant, so what are you aborting? ~Author Unknown

CoastieWifePR
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:04 PM

I agree, its YOUR shower, not hers...  You do what you want...  Good luck

Quoting Aamy:

Its your shower. Tell her NO and that you are doing it the way you want. I personally had a BBQ where men and women where invited and i wanted my DH there. But everyone wants and likes different things. Do what YOU want for YOUR shower hun.






charlie06
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:09 PM

If there are no other kids there then NO those girls should not be there. This is about you and the baby. Guys aren't into baby showers even if it is his child too. That is something for you. You need to tell you soon to be mil that those are your wishes and your so wishes.

MommyBebe
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:10 PM

well, it's your shower and your SO should say something! But i do think his Daughter should be there wheather they r bored or not, when they look back they'll have felt included!

Aamy
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:11 PM


Quoting charlie06:

If there are no other kids there then NO those girls should not be there. This is about you and the baby. Guys aren't into baby showers even if it is his child too. That is something for you. You need to tell you soon to be mil that those are your wishes and your so wishes.

This i have to kind of disagree with. I know my Dh was into our shower and so was my BIL, and any shower i have been to the guy has been there as well so ........ Who knows.

 


Only half the patients who go into an abortion clinic come out alive. ~Author Unknown

If it isn't a baby, then you aren't pregnant, so what are you aborting? ~Author Unknown

possummom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:14 PM

tell her if she does not like the way the shower is going to be then she does not have to be there. and as far as she not wanting you to open gifts....well not like she can stop you from doing it.

               




Aries83
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:16 PM

I agree that you need to speak up, but as far as the daughters go, why dont you ask them? Give them the option, because they might not even want to go!! Either way, I hope things go well, and keep us informed!!

AuntieV
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 8:56 PM

Who is paying for the shower?

If she is not sharing in the cost of the shower then what she wants does not matter.

 

Kate613
by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 1:41 PM

my emailed my SO's mom to find out how many people from her family are going to the shower so far bc she needs a count and this is what she sent her:

i talked to shawn and maddie and gwen are definitely joining us....so we can order
them something different like burger, chicken fingers, etc.
 
my SO told her the kids would be with him possibly at the restuaraunt they have with his friend because his wife is going. I know his mom will try to give the kids all the atention because she thinks im too shy. IM about to tell everyone just forget about the shower. His mom doesn't think i even know about it because she felt it has to be a suprise. My mom is fine with me knowing...so far my mom has paid for everything.   
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Kate613
by on Feb. 1, 2009 at 4:29 PM

UPDATE

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