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Try to put yourself in my shoes

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 8:55 AM
  • 14 Replies

Ok first a little background, I have had 3 full term pregnancy's. The first two ended in still births both around 36 weeks (the beginning of the ninth month). Finally, at the end of my third pregnancy, I had a beautiful little girl. Madison is my miracle and the light of my life.  I have been trying to conceive another child for the last few months with no success and I am starting to give up on having another child. Last night, I called my sister and told her about TTC and my feelings of failure, my fears that if I do get pregnant the baby will not be born, and just everything that I am feeling right now.

So fast forward to this morning, my sister calls me and tells me that she is pregnant. I told her that I am happy for her and if she needs anything, to let me know. She imediately asks me to take her to the clinic so that she can "get rid of it"! I kind of stumbled over my thoughts here, and asked her what she was thinking asking me to do something like that when she knew that I want another child more than anything else in the world. She told me that I am being selfish and I shouldn't say no to my own sister when she needs me so much.

I told her that she and I should sit down and talk, maybe she could get clean, (she is taking a lot of drugs and drinks like a fish) and I will take the baby when it is born. At that point she tells me "I don't want you to raise my kid, I don't like that you are not christian." I started yelling at her and telling her that a christian wouldn't have an abortion either. At this point she just hung up on me. I can't believe that she would ask me that, the day after I confided my heartache in her!

I guess I just needed to rant for a while, thanks for listening/reading.

*Disclaimer* I really don't want this post to become about abortion, Please don't turn it into a debate.

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 8:55 AM
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by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:09 AM

What are her reasonings for wanting a abortion? Does she feel that she would perhaps be able to give the baby up for adoption? And why in the world, would it matter to her that you are not christian, with her lifestyle choices? These are questions that just popped through my head as reading your post. I truely believe that people will do what they want, but she may not think about it now...but if she were to go through with the abortion she will never forgive herself, it will be something that is on her mind for the rest of her life. It will be something that will just pop into her head at the moments that she doesnt suspect they would. I am sorry that she had to tell you this news, the day after you let your heart out to her. Hopefully she will come around and decide to put the baby up for adoption.

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:14 AM

I'm sorry that you have gone through what you have...I had a miscarriage and I was devastated i cant even begin to imagine  what you feel...your sis is pretty selfish coming to you with her dilema knowing your past and heartaches but with the drugs and drinking people become very self absorbed, it all about them...ultimately it is her choice but she should have not come to you...

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:25 AM

I am so sorry you had to go through that! It was very thoughtless of your sister to ask that of you! You were right to get upset.

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:32 AM

omg! why didn't she just take a ballbat to your head? think about this tho, she just found she herself is pregger, she knows how her own life is. she is scared, hormonal, and it sounds, young. you have been through so much, i am sure you can handle her selfish ass! be there for her, support her, but try not to judge her. maybe she will come around.

good luck!

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:41 AM

your sister is one inconciderate lil bitch !   sorry    that  just flew out 

Huggs  mama  

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:42 AM sounds like she wants her drugs and alcohol more than anything. Have you tried to get her into a program? Like, an intervention? I would hope that a clean, sober sister would not say things like that to you. I am so sorry for your losses, and am in shock that ANYONE who knows your history would ask you to take them for an abortion. You obviously cherish the life of a child, and for someone to ask you to help them end a child's life on purpose is unfeeling and rude. I hope your sister makes a good choice and I hope you get the pregnancy & precious baby you are waiting for.

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:43 AM

Your sister is the one being inconsiderate and kinda cruel.


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:45 AM

 First off Im sorry for all your troubles. Your sister was very insensitive and mean. I dont know what else I can say execpt i hope you have better luck TTC and I hope your sister straightens out in general- no matter what she chooses right now.


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:45 AM

i am so sorry to hear this.... your sister is being selfish and inconsiderate.

have you thought about other ways to have  a baby? like a surrogate mother??

by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 9:45 AM

Sorry you have gone through all of that. I would call your sis and have a good heart to heart with her. It must be terrible for you to lose babies like that and then have to deal with the whole sister experience.


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