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I am caught between a rock and a hard place ! Please I need some advice !

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:39 PM
  • 12 Replies

I have a dilema. My sister is abusing perscription drugs. She went through a siboxin clinic to help with the cravings for the opiates. She is still abusing drugs she is constantlly asking my mentally ill sister for her meds . My mentally il sister lost both her kids when the state took them away ! with the paternal grandmother the other with me I have since adopted her little girl who has been with us since she was 6 wks old and is now 6 . Anyway my sister has a 4 year old and 3 month old twin boys to take care of she lives in a 1 bedroom house with the father of her children. The kids are always clean for the most part and seem to be taken care of. My question is are they safe if she is doing drugs ? do I just not say anthing ? What if something happens to them ? I do not know what to do. Should I call a social worker ? It will kill her if the kids are taken away wich they probably would be once the state got a look at their living conditons ( the house is pretty clean just way to small for 5 people to be living in ) . She is a good mom. Do you think she can be a good mom and pop pills left and right ?

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mandarose
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:42 PM

I don't think a good mom is someone who pops pills. If she is addicted to them i say get her help. Not necessarily CPS but a real doctor. She can go to meeting for that and everything.


mmtosam06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:42 PM

 I think you should say something to her because what if she got behind the wheel w/the kids & was high on drugs & she wrecked seriously you dont want that on your shoulders i say do talk to her let her know her kids can be taken away for her using/abusing drugs

Stephanie a non vaxxing/cloth diapering/full term breastfeeding sahm who is wanting another but waiting/WoW addicted momma to a 2yr old princess
kristinaleann
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:46 PM

i would sit and talk to your sister in a serious conversation and tell her that if she does not stop, there is a HIGH possibility that her kids will be taken from her.  Has she tried going to rehab?

monshine2
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:47 PM

Try family intervention 1st... Try to get her to see how bad it is and what can happen and try to get her into rehab. Is the father on drugs too?  Your sister has an addiction and a problem that she needs help with - It's a sickness!
Sounds like with your other sisters condition there is some serious family issues... Seek help!

They won't get taken away just because they have a small house - As long as they are being cared for, Are clean, fed, going to school, not mentally or physically abused they should be fine in the home.

wentworth99
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:48 PM


Quoting mmtosam06:

 I think you should say something to her because what if she got behind the wheel w/the kids & was high on drugs & she wrecked seriously you dont want that on your shoulders i say do talk to her let her know her kids can be taken away for her using/abusing drugs

She knows they can be taken away because my other sister lost both of her kids she is an alcoholic and also abuses druggs and the CPS took her kids away. I can not let her know I know what she is doing because she will be so angry with my other sister for telling me

starleigh21
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 2:49 PM

 Good moms don't  use drugs. Just because the kids are clean and the house is clean doesn't mean she's a good mom. How is she when she's on the pills? Agressive? Emotional? A fake happy? Angry? etc.

Any drug causes issues within yourself. And, kids being as perseptive as they are, i'm sure they know somethings not right. And, she's teaching them that taking pills for no reason other than self-satisfaction, is okay.

I'd make a call. It's called tough love. She doesn't want to lose her kids, then maybe this is what she needs to stop poppin pills.

I'd call on either 1 of my sisters if they were poppin pills, whether they had kids or not.

yvonne37
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:03 PM

Cant you have a family meeting and maybe talk with other relatives and see what they think? If your family is not that close knit, then you might be able to talk to a doctor or her doctor. (who gives her the meds? you other sister?) maybe with the help of a doctor you could help her get off them.. I would keep a close eye on her and one day tell her you noticed she is poping pills.. and have a heart felt talk with her.. she should open her eyes with what happened to your other sister..

How about her husband? does he know? does he care? cant he keep control of it?.. Personally I dont think you should call child services on her.. I think it would be more sisterly if you first give her a heads up.. find a way to talk to her about it without incriminating your other sister. And keep in close contact with her kids.. take them with you more often and maybe babysit for her if you could.. Im sorry you are caught in this mess,  and I can imagine you have your own problems to deal with.. it says a lot about your character that you are taking care of your family like that.. good job and good luck! 

----- Visit my CafeMom homepage at http://www.cafemom.com/home/yvonne37
abby9876
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:13 PM

 

Quoting monshine2:

Try family intervention 1st... Try to get her to see how bad it is and what can happen and try to get her into rehab. Is the father on drugs too?  Your sister has an addiction and a problem that she needs help with - It's a sickness!
Sounds like with your other sisters condition there is some serious family issues... Seek help!

They won't get taken away just because they have a small house - As long as they are being cared for, Are clean, fed, going to school, not mentally or physically abused they should be fine in the home.

I agree with trying an intervention completely. I'm also wondering what's the deal with father? What's he doing/saying about it?

A woman is like a tea bag~you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.


I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


~Eleanor Roosevelt ~

wentworth99
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:22 PM

The father is a pill popper also. He has blown there money on pills before he is a roofer and does not make a stable income so they are often struggling . They are often at food pantrys getting food. My mother just had to fill their propane tank because they had no hot water. I am unsure if i can live with my self if something happens to my nephews..

sebanasmommy
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 3:33 PM

Whether or not she can be a good mom isn't the issue. I was raised by someone who abused drugs and I consider her a good mom. I HATE it when people say that women who use drugs can't be good mom, because that's BS.

Now, I agree that a family intervention should be done. You guys SHOULD intervine as best as possible, but don't back her in a corner and all that. Abusers hate that. Be there for her without enabling her. Offer support by going to meetings and such with her. Let her know she isn't alone.




I am a proud momma of boy/girl twins born 7/24/04 and one on the way coming Sept. 2009. I'm happily married to my second husband. I'm a rockin out with her cock out kind of mom, the harder the music, the better. I'm a spiritual, non-believing in God or the bible, CIO, non co-sleeping, not gonna wear my baby, Formula-Feeding, disposable diapering, proud to vax, proud to circ mama who is raising her children to be free-thinking and non-conforming. If ya got a problem with my parenting skills, keep it to yourself, I don't wanna hear ya whining!





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