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torn...advice pls!!!

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 9:14 AM
  • 5 Replies

Good Morning!

I am really looking for some advice or input on something....

My bf and I have known each other for 18yrs we started dating in nov of 07 we dated until june of 08 i ended the relationship cuz i was unsure of what i wanted,i had jus ended a 7yr relationship with 3 kids.We went our different ways,We started talkin again in oct of 08 and we decided to give it another shot in nov of 08 a few days later he told me that while we were split up he had a one nighter with a friend of his and now she was preg,and he or her x could be the dad.I was a lil furious but it was while we were apart so i sucked it up and put it in the back of my head.(He has 3 other kids with 2 different girls,i have fully accept those kids and have helped with anything)

So here is where i need advice.....On Tuesday the 5th she was induced and well my bf made it a point to be there.She has had the baby,although he doesnt kno if the baby is his he wants to do the right thing and be there until he finds out..I am a strong person but i dont know if i am strong enough to watch him raise a child from the start with another girl,in our relationship....Iike i said i have accepted the other kids,the were a package deal they were born before we started the relationship,and now this one is born into ours.

Do i stay with him cuz i love him with everything i have and watch him raise a kid with someone else as much as it hurts or do i leave? or am i just overreacting? I did not think i was going to have such a haard time with this

Thanks very much and i respect any input!

Brandi

by on May. 8, 2009 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-5):
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 8, 2009 at 9:18 AM

For me, no way would I get mixed up in something that complicated but you may want to.  You have to decide for yourself. 

kristinaleann
by on May. 8, 2009 at 9:59 AM

it sounds too complicated for me! I would just stick to being friends!

mom_kac
by on May. 9, 2009 at 12:38 PM

still as lost about this as i was yesterday,its really eatin me up inside...any new input from anyone?  thank you

Loved4Sure
by on May. 9, 2009 at 1:06 PM

I have not been in this situation so I can't relate enough to give sage advice.

I think you know what you have to do. Trust yourself, and be true to both your heart and your head.


momswalk
by on May. 9, 2009 at 1:15 PM

I'm sorry, but you knew this when you started the relationship back up. He's going to have a hard enough time dealing with this new child and the fact that he is not with the mother. Let alone if he forms a bond with this kid and it turns out not to be his. That will be rough as well. If you can't be supportive, then you need to step away, at least for a bit. I am not sure I would be able to be in a relationship like that. In fact, I know I would have to remove myself from it for a while. Good luck :) 

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