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Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:22 AM
  • 8 Replies

 Are going through a DIVORCE right now? I am getting ready to file for Divorce, but my husband is a narcissist and is driving me nuts and making me feel guilty about taking my girls with me?

 







 




 

by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:22 AM
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Replies (1-8):
kmyree2207
by on May. 24, 2009 at 12:33 AM

I have been there and done that! my ex husband is a narcisist also and he laid down every guilt trip he could think of and for awhile there it worked.....

You just need to remind yourself that what your doing is what is right....Your kids needs to be with you and they can visit their dad....DO NOT play into his head games because thats all they are....games.

so because your leaving him and filing for divorce im pretty sure that its your game now and its time to take over!  when he makes you feel guilty/angry hes controlling you.  take the control back...yeah he will still piss you off but dont let him see it!  and what i have learned that works great is killing them with kindness!!! its hard to do but if you want it bad enough you can do it!!!

If anyone ever needs advice on relationships like marriage, friends, family, or thinking about divorce or you are divorced and need help with your es husband?.....join this new group!!!

www.cafemom.com/group/need_advice
mommyx206
by on May. 24, 2009 at 5:04 AM


Quoting kmyree2207:

I have been there and done that! my ex husband is a narcisist also and he laid down every guilt trip he could think of and for awhile there it worked.....

You just need to remind yourself that what your doing is what is right....Your kids needs to be with you and they can visit their dad....DO NOT play into his head games because thats all they are....games.

so because your leaving him and filing for divorce im pretty sure that its your game now and its time to take over!  when he makes you feel guilty/angry hes controlling you.  take the control back...yeah he will still piss you off but dont let him see it!  and what i have learned that works great is killing them with kindness!!! its hard to do but if you want it bad enough you can do it!!!


Thank you. Our 8th anniversary is coming up and he has NEVER gotten me anything for our anniversary. Now all of a sudden he wants to take me out to dinner and a play. And before all this I would've been thrilled to pieces but it's like after you try so hard to love someone and hit a brick wall, when they are finally to return the love you're done trying and that is where I am at.  He has already started trying to lay down rules on what I am and am not allowed to do after we get divorced. I'm like I'm divorcing to get away from your ass. Then our oldest daughter starts Kindergarden this year and he said that she is going to school here. I'm moving to another county2 counties away actually and they have a great school there that I want her to go too. Then he tell's me I'm not allowed to ask for child support and that when he files taxes he is filing them as his exemptions. I mean What the hell am I supposed to do. I have no money he knows this he's been taking it all. I have no place to go. I'm sorry it just felt good for someone to finally understand what I am dealing with.







 




 

TDMumof3
by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:01 AM
I am not going through a divorce myself but I know two people are in my life. One of them being a family member on my husbands side. My brother in law! Anyways, Mainly the reason I am posting a reply is because I wanted to Wish you LUCK in your divorce. From the sounds of it, you hit the brick wall many of times and still kept going trying to make it work. Don't listen to that asshole btw! Do what you want to after your divorce, BE a free Single Woman. The way I see it a TRUE MOTHER always NEEDS their Children. Not for the money but TO CONTINUE ON LIVING!!!
tdmumof3siggys
junecrab
by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:13 AM

do you wish he would have put that much energy into the marriage as he is making your life complicated?

i have been through three divorces. none pretty. my last was  with satan, but dont tell my son that...heheehee.

of course he is trying to make you feel guilty. don't let it work. stay strong...

you know we are all crazy bitches once we leave them....right?


junecrab

Peace starts with a Smile.....Bitches!

ZoomomCO
by on May. 24, 2009 at 9:40 PM

Girl, I am in the same boat! I am planning to tell my DH tomorrow that I'm finished and plan to file as soon as possible.(I meet with my lawyer on Tues.) My soon-to-be EX is also narcisitic and all that goes along with it. We have 3 kids and I am definetly seeking full custody, there has been physical abuse. However, stupid me blinded by love goggles, never called the cops or filed any kind of report. I will however fight tooth and nail to keep my kids. Are you leaving first or is he? We have to sell the house before mine will leave, any advice for getting through that? Anyway, I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one!

Dixie-Girl13
by on May. 25, 2009 at 11:17 PM

I'm not, but I hope all goes well and things work out for you = ) 

toddler boy~ Tiana~baby girl

kmyree2207
by on May. 26, 2009 at 12:20 AM

he has no right to tell you what you can and can not do....and believe me my ex husband tried the exact same shit on me.....but it didnt fly because the boys will be going to school here where i live which is 300 miles away from him and he will only get them on summer vacations....and he has to pay child support and honestly i dont think that he will be able to get out of that because when this goes to court the judge will order him to pay!  so dont worry about a thing...the best thing that you can do right now is DOCUMENT everything with times dates and what was said or done between the two of you.....and when it comes to court give it to the judge because it will show a pattern with your ex husband and probably not a good one so it will be in your favor!  dont worry about what your ex  is saying or threatening because its all a scare tactic because inside he is scared shitless and he doesnt know what to do....so let it go in one ear and out the other and move on with your life.......

once i got on with my life and got my own place and started doing things that i wanted to and when i wanted to and how i wanted too it has been so liberating!!!  and i absolutely love it.  my ex husband was a controling abusive asshole.  and i see other people going through the same thing that i did and theres nothing i can do about them but i know deep down that i made the right decision and that finally i am happy.....and i couldnt ask for anything better!!! so chin up honey, dont give into his bullshit and if you need someone to talk to and to give you strength message me anytime!!!

Quoting mommyx206:


Quoting kmyree2207:

I have been there and done that! my ex husband is a narcisist also and he laid down every guilt trip he could think of and for awhile there it worked.....

You just need to remind yourself that what your doing is what is right....Your kids needs to be with you and they can visit their dad....DO NOT play into his head games because thats all they are....games.

so because your leaving him and filing for divorce im pretty sure that its your game now and its time to take over!  when he makes you feel guilty/angry hes controlling you.  take the control back...yeah he will still piss you off but dont let him see it!  and what i have learned that works great is killing them with kindness!!! its hard to do but if you want it bad enough you can do it!!!


Thank you. Our 8th anniversary is coming up and he has NEVER gotten me anything for our anniversary. Now all of a sudden he wants to take me out to dinner and a play. And before all this I would've been thrilled to pieces but it's like after you try so hard to love someone and hit a brick wall, when they are finally to return the love you're done trying and that is where I am at.  He has already started trying to lay down rules on what I am and am not allowed to do after we get divorced. I'm like I'm divorcing to get away from your ass. Then our oldest daughter starts Kindergarden this year and he said that she is going to school here. I'm moving to another county2 counties away actually and they have a great school there that I want her to go too. Then he tell's me I'm not allowed to ask for child support and that when he files taxes he is filing them as his exemptions. I mean What the hell am I supposed to do. I have no money he knows this he's been taking it all. I have no place to go. I'm sorry it just felt good for someone to finally understand what I am dealing with.


If anyone ever needs advice on relationships like marriage, friends, family, or thinking about divorce or you are divorced and need help with your es husband?.....join this new group!!!

www.cafemom.com/group/need_advice
mommyx206
by on May. 26, 2009 at 1:00 AM


Quoting ZoomomCO:

Girl, I am in the same boat! I am planning to tell my DH tomorrow that I'm finished and plan to file as soon as possible.(I meet with my lawyer on Tues.) My soon-to-be EX is also narcisitic and all that goes along with it. We have 3 kids and I am definetly seeking full custody, there has been physical abuse. However, stupid me blinded by love goggles, never called the cops or filed any kind of report. I will however fight tooth and nail to keep my kids. Are you leaving first or is he? We have to sell the house before mine will leave, any advice for getting through that? Anyway, I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one!


I am leaving. I don't want the house. He has said everything from letting the house foreclose to ruin my credit. It can be documented that for him to sell the house or buy out your share. Whichever he proves. Nope your not the only one. Ever since I told My husband that I'm leaving he has been buying flowers, etc. But I've been there done that. It always last for a couple of weeks then back to the same ole shit. I'm done. Walking away. Good Luck and PM me anytime you need to chat.







 




 

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