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can I still be a bride?

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:20 PM
  • 41 Replies
hello everyone,
I am 25 years old. I have been living with my baby-daddy for almost 4 years now in the United States. Although we are not legally married, we do act like husband and wife. Even everywhere I go, I refer to him as my husband. We have a solid relationship. We just never got to get married, but we are technically engaged. We have a two years old son. My "fiancee" has another daughter from a previous marriage who is 13, and we are going to move to my country, Puerto Rico, where all my family lives, in about 2 months and we will stay there for good. Well, I decided I wanted to live up to my dream of getting married to him. We obviously love each other dearly. I guess some of my concerns are...am I out of my mind by thinking I can still get married? I mean, is not like I am leaving my mom's house, virgin and all, to go live with him, we have been living together for too long now. If I do decide to get married, is it too ridiculous to wear a white dress. Does it really matter that much (btw, if we do make a wedding, it will not be in a church, I wanted it outdoors, on the beach, but with a catholic priest who happens to be my "fiancee"'s uncle)I kinda wish I could get to wear one. Also, my husband wishes that his daughter be the maid of honor, but, can we do that? if the wedding happens, it will be next summer and she will only be 14. Doesn't she have to be over 21 to be a maid of honor, because as I understand she is the one who has to sign as a witness to the marriage. I thought she could just be a bridesmaid, but my husband wants more than that for her. lastly, is my son too young to be a ring bearer? he will be 3 and I am afraid he cannot even follow directions when walking down the aisle, lol. lol. i can just imagine him.

anyways, sorry, I have millions of questions. Don't need to answer all, just whatever you have an answer for can help.

thank you in advance
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOUR DADS, GRANDDADS, HUSBANDS, AND REST
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KairisMama
by Bronze Member on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:28 PM

I was having sex with my DH 6 years before we married. I lived with him 2 years before we married.  I had a huge wedding, and YES I wore white. :) I made a beautiful bride.

I see no reason why you can't have a wedding, wear white (if you want) and be a bride for a day. As for ages of the bridal party, that is up to you. There is no age limit. You choose whomever you want to be in your wedding. It's YOUR DAY. :)

FYI - my ring bearer was 11 months old.:)

 Kairi


proudmommytoOJ
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:32 PM
oH WOW, that's so cute, I wonder how you managed to have your so lil one be the ring bearer....oh, and my only concern about their ages is whether or not they can actually do it. like ly stepdaughter might just be leagally too young to do it, and my son might not be really prepared to do it, that's why I am not sure if I should,.
thank you for your advice and thank you for your encouragement

Quoting KairisMama:

I was having sex with my DH 6 years before we married. I lived with him 2 years before we married.  I had a huge wedding, and YES I wore white. :) I made a beautiful bride.


I see no reason why you can't have a wedding, wear white (if you want) and be a bride for a day. As for ages of the bridal party, that is up to you. There is no age limit. You choose whomever you want to be in your wedding. It's YOUR DAY. :)


FYI - my ring bearer was 11 months old.:)


offrdngal
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:34 PM

No you are not out of your mind!! LOL  If you want a wedding with a white gown, flowers, music, cake, and his daughter as your MOH....go for it!!!!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wearing a white gown.  That old idea of "only virgins wear white" is a thing of the past.  His daughter can be your MOH and not be your witness.  As long as you have one other person to act as a witness (although I just got married last month, in Indiana and didn't need a witness to sign), you will be fine. I think you'd be seriously surprised at how well your son may be able to follow directions, to be RB.  Do you have any nieces or nephews (or other relatives) that are close to his age that could walk with him to kind of keep him focused?

I think a beach wedding would be beautiful...good luck...I hope you get your dream!!

Terri

KairisMama
by Bronze Member on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:37 PM


Quoting KairisMama:

He was in a wagon, while my 6 and 7 yo flower girls pulled him down the aisle. :) Click here - http://www.dayofdreams.com/Children_In_Weddings.htm

I am the second picture on this web page. Those are my flower girls pulling the wagon. I'm still on our officiant's site 5 years later. :)

Quoting proudmommytoOJ:

oH WOW, that's so cute, I wonder how you managed to have your so lil one be the ring bearer....oh, and my only concern about their ages is whether or not they can actually do it. like ly stepdaughter might just be leagally too young to do it, and my son might not be really prepared to do it, that's why I am not sure if I should,.
thank you for your advice and thank you for your encouragement

 

 


proudmommytoOJ
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:40 PM
thank you!!! I am now curious about the idea of not having to really have someone to sign as a witness, I will check the local laws, thanks for that tip. and yes, I have one lil girl cousin who is a year older than my DS and I am planning that they walk together, but since they are both still babies, who guarantees they will make it to the altar, lmao. that will be so funny.
thank you again

Quoting offrdngal:

No you are not out of your mind!! LOL  If you want a wedding with a white gown, flowers, music, cake, and his daughter as your MOH....go for it!!!!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wearing a white gown.  That old idea of "only virgins wear white" is a thing of the past.  His daughter can be your MOH and not be your witness.  As long as you have one other person to act as a witness (although I just got married last month, in Indiana and didn't need a witness to sign), you will be fine. I think you'd be seriously surprised at how well your son may be able to follow directions, to be RB.  Do you have any nieces or nephews (or other relatives) that are close to his age that could walk with him to kind of keep him focused?


I think a beach wedding would be beautiful...good luck...I hope you get your dream!!


proudmommytoOJ
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:42 PM
wow, those are the most beautiful flower girl dresses I have ever seen.
Quoting KairisMama:


MommyToEthan
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:51 PM

of course you can get married!!   and the best part about your wedding, is that you can do what YOU want to do.   if you want your step daughter to be your maid of honor, DO IT.  

my maid of honor was 13 and she did a great job!! 

it's all about what YOU want....do worry about what other people think or say.

good luck!!

proudmommytoOJ
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 6:00 PM
my family is kinda traditional and my mom and my sister both think I should not get married on a white dress. They are suggesting a beige or pink, or like an off white, I don't want them to think I am doing something wrong, but I don't feel like I am, I feel I should have the right to wear whatever color I choose, right?
KaeLainne
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 6:03 PM

The MOH does not have to be the one to sign for the bride as witness. ANYONE who witnesses the wedding can sign the marriage cert. I signed my brothers as his Best Man :)

Quoting proudmommytoOJ:

thank you!!! I am now curious about the idea of not having to really have someone to sign as a witness, I will check the local laws, thanks for that tip. and yes, I have one lil girl cousin who is a year older than my DS and I am planning that they walk together, but since they are both still babies, who guarantees they will make it to the altar, lmao. that will be so funny.
thank you again

Quoting offrdngal:

No you are not out of your mind!! LOL  If you want a wedding with a white gown, flowers, music, cake, and his daughter as your MOH....go for it!!!!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wearing a white gown.  That old idea of "only virgins wear white" is a thing of the past.  His daughter can be your MOH and not be your witness.  As long as you have one other person to act as a witness (although I just got married last month, in Indiana and didn't need a witness to sign), you will be fine. I think you'd be seriously surprised at how well your son may be able to follow directions, to be RB.  Do you have any nieces or nephews (or other relatives) that are close to his age that could walk with him to kind of keep him focused?


I think a beach wedding would be beautiful...good luck...I hope you get your dream!!



proudmommytoOJ
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 6:08 PM
this is just wonderful. It never ocurred to me. my husband is going to be so happy when I tell him what I just found out. i can simply have my mother sign and that's that. My stepdaughter is going to be the one.

Quoting KaeLainne:


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