Would you condiser it adultery?

Replies:

• 
• by
  • EireLass
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:21 PM

• Just remember that in court it's not about "truth, justice, and the american way"....it's all about who tells the best story.

  
  

  
  

• 
• by
  • bashfulmom
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:23 PM
• no i dont think it is. but, it shouldnt matter what others think. if you are fine with it, then go for it. but if you will feel quilty then wait. if your not ready to date now anyway, i wouldnt worry about it for right now. but no you and your husband are no longer fallowing your vows. so i dont think it is breaking anything, on top of that, dating is just going out somewhere to get to know a person better, its not like you are going to marry the dude while you are still married to another man. and as long as the guy you see knows about your seperation and is fine with it, then i dont think it should be a big deal

• 
• by
  • Mom2theboy1994
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:24 PM

• I think it the eyes of the law it may be considered adultery, but to me personally, I don't think it is. You are no longer choosing to be with this person. You are going through the proper channels to ensure you will no longer be legally tied to this person. People move on.
  

  
  

• 
• by
  • livin4jc
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:25 PM

• My mom and I just went through this!!  She had cheated on my Dad, and then when the divorce was in progress she moved in with her new boyfriend.  I think that you (no matter how ugly the marriage OR divorce is) made a vow before God, and you should stand by it for better or worse!!  I'm NOT at all saying you should stay with your husband if he laid his hands on you, but you will earn respect from yourself and your children if you just wait until it all goes through...plus you will also earn the respect of a future mate, that he hasn't been put in the middle of it!!

• 
• by
  • Haileysmom0530
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:28 PM

• I'm in this situation. My STBX and I are legally married. He is the one that had the affair that ended our relationship. We haven't been living together since November. We are seperated, but not LEGALLY seperated. As in, there is no paperwork that states we are legally seperated, just seperated by not living together. If I were to start dating now, it wouldn't be considered adultry since we aren't together. We aren't living as man and wife. We aren't living our lives married. Us still being married is just a technicality at this point. 

• 
• by
  • Datina
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:42 PM

• I really don't get the difference between "separation" and "legal separation". Its irritating... We were married in the state of DE (where he still lives - I moved), so we have to be living apart for 6 months before we're considered "legally separated" and I can't file for divorce until then. Ugh. I just want it over with and I can't even file for another 5 months. 

  Quoting Haileysmom0530:
  
  

  I'm in this situation. My STBX and I are legally married. He is the one that had the affair that ended our relationship. We haven't been living together since November. We are seperated, but not LEGALLY seperated. As in, there is no paperwork that states we are legally seperated, just seperated by not living together. If I were to start dating now, it wouldn't be considered adultry since we aren't together. We aren't living as man and wife. We aren't living our lives married. Us still being married is just a technicality at this point. 

  
  

• 
• by
  • Haileysmom0530
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:50 PM

• I'm in Indiana. I can file divorce whenever I want and I already have. I had different options. #1.... file for legal seperation. Still have to go to court, still have to file papers. Its like filing for divorce, but the legal seperation takes place over the course of a year. When the  year is over, we go back to court to tell the judge that we either want it extended, ended cuz we're working it out, or ended because we want to file for divorce. I filed from divorce straight out of the gate. I moved out in November, filed at the beginning of December. We had to wait 60 days after the initial court hearing before our divorce would be finalized. We didn't finalize it because he was deploying and we wouldn't have time to get it all done before he left. EVERYONE in the state of Indiana has to go by the 60 day waiting period.

  According to the state of Indiana, we are SEPERATED because we haven't been living together for over 90 days. BUT we aren't LEGALLY seperated, because no paperwork has been filed to say that we are. A LEGAL seperation has to be signed by the judge. We don't have that.

  I can't believe you can't file for divorce until you've been living apart for 6 months! Thats dumb! I would be so pissed about that. The only thing that sucks in my state is its a no fault state. He had an affair, but I can't get him on that. Stupid Indiana. LOL.
  

  Quoting Datina:
  
  

  I really don't get the difference between "separation" and "legal separation". Its irritating... We were married in the state of DE (where he still lives - I moved), so we have to be living apart for 6 months before we're considered "legally separated" and I can't file for divorce until then. Ugh. I just want it over with and I can't even file for another 5 months. 

  Quoting Haileysmom0530:
  
  

  I'm in this situation. My STBX and I are legally married. He is the one that had the affair that ended our relationship. We haven't been living together since November. We are seperated, but not LEGALLY seperated. As in, there is no paperwork that states we are legally seperated, just seperated by not living together. If I were to start dating now, it wouldn't be considered adultry since we aren't together. We aren't living as man and wife. We aren't living our lives married. Us still being married is just a technicality at this point. 

   

  
  

• 
• by
  • Datina
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 3:59 PM

• Lol. You're making me wish I had stayed in Indiana! I lived there for 7 years before moving to DE where I met my STBX. I friend of mine in NH separated from his wife in April and the divorce was finalized in May. I chose the WORST stare to get married in!
  
  As for the no fault thing... I could file for divorce based on domestic violence, but I've decided not to do that because I know he'll fight til the death and it will just get longer and more messy... I'm just going to file as :"ncompatible" and get it over with.
  

  Quoting Haileysmom0530:
  
  

  I'm in Indiana. I can file divorce whenever I want and I already have. I had different options. #1.... file for legal seperation. Still have to go to court, still have to file papers. Its like filing for divorce, but the legal seperation takes place over the course of a year. When the  year is over, we go back to court to tell the judge that we either want it extended, ended cuz we're working it out, or ended because we want to file for divorce. I filed from divorce straight out of the gate. I moved out in November, filed at the beginning of December. We had to wait 60 days after the initial court hearing before our divorce would be finalized. We didn't finalize it because he was deploying and we wouldn't have time to get it all done before he left. EVERYONE in the state of Indiana has to go by the 60 day waiting period.

  According to the state of Indiana, we are SEPERATED because we haven't been living together for over 90 days. BUT we aren't LEGALLY seperated, because no paperwork has been filed to say that we are. A LEGAL seperation has to be signed by the judge. We don't have that.

  I can't believe you can't file for divorce until you've been living apart for 6 months! Thats dumb! I would be so pissed about that. The only thing that sucks in my state is its a no fault state. He had an affair, but I can't get him on that. Stupid Indiana. LOL.
  

  Quoting Datina:
  
  

  I really don't get the difference between "separation" and "legal separation". Its irritating... We were married in the state of DE (where he still lives - I moved), so we have to be living apart for 6 months before we're considered "legally separated" and I can't file for divorce until then. Ugh. I just want it over with and I can't even file for another 5 months. 

  Quoting Haileysmom0530:
  
  

  I'm in this situation. My STBX and I are legally married. He is the one that had the affair that ended our relationship. We haven't been living together since November. We are seperated, but not LEGALLY seperated. As in, there is no paperwork that states we are legally seperated, just seperated by not living together. If I were to start dating now, it wouldn't be considered adultry since we aren't together. We aren't living as man and wife. We aren't living our lives married. Us still being married is just a technicality at this point. 

   

  
  

  
  

• 
• by
  • valkins
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 4:05 PM

•  Not adultery at all. Good luck!

• 
• by
  • hannahsmommy321
  on Jul. 1, 2009 at 4:09 PM

• yes for sure
  

  

  
  

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