The CafeThe Cafe / The Cafe

Keep up with discussion in the "The Cafe" group through your e-mail, or join in the conversation yourself!

Join CafeMom Today (It's free and easy!) Already a member?

Would you condiser it adultery?

Datina

posted to The Cafe in The Cafe
on Jul. 1, 2009 at 2:58 PM

  • 46 Replies
  • 1118 Total Views

 

Poll

Question: Would you consider dating before a divorce is finalized "adultery"?

Options:

Yes! You are still legally married!

No! The covenant has already been broken!

Other! There is ALWAYS an


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 145

View Results

My husband and I separated almost a month ago. I am in no way, shape or form ready to date again and won't be for a long time... but I know that divorces can be long, nasty processes and it got me thinking... Would dating someone else before a divorce is finalized be considered adultery? I have a friend that says no, my husband beat the snot out of me, he broke the covenant and it no longer matters as long as we're separated... My mom says that dating before its finalized is wrong because we're still legally married.

So I was jsut cusrious - what does everyone else think?

PS - I  should have clarified. I'm not worried about how it will look in court. I'm already going to kick his ass in court. I'm just wondering, from a personal perspective, what others think about it.

Written by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 2:58 PM

Replies:


  • GOBryan
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 4:29 PM
  • The way I look at it is that once divorce is filed, it's over.

    My husband's divorce from Satan took 4 years, so I don't think it would have been fair for him to put his personal life on hold just because it took that long, especially during such a nasty divorce.  

  • EnigmaMuse
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 4:31 PM
  • I think that once the divorce papers are filed and everything is already in the process.

    Then nope. Not Adultery.

    The marriage is already over. The legal process has already begun. There is no longer a marriage.

                               

  • mamapaparazzi
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 6:04 PM
  • Sorry, I'm a traditionalist.  Until everything is final, any sexual encounter with someone who is not your soon-to-be-ex spouse is adultery to me.  Meaning I would personally feel like I was committing adultery if I did it.

    Dating without sex... borderline, in my most humble opinion.

    Sex is not so important to me that I wouldn't be able to wait for the ink to dry on divorce papers, and in that situation, if the man I wanted to be with wasn't able to wait, he wouldn't be the type I'd want to be with anyway.

    _______________________________________________


    _______________________________________________

  • GOBryan
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 6:10 PM
  • What if the divorce took 4 years??

    Quoting mamapaparazzi:

    Sorry, I'm a traditionalist.  Until everything is final, any sexual encounter with someone who is not your soon-to-be-ex spouse is adultery to me.  Meaning I would personally feel like I was committing adultery if I did it.

    Dating without sex... borderline, in my most humble opinion.

    Sex is not so important to me that I wouldn't be able to wait for the ink to dry on divorce papers, and in that situation, if the man I wanted to be with wasn't able to wait, he wouldn't be the type I'd want to be with anyway.


  • Hail08
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 6:12 PM
  • move forward

  • EireLass
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 8:12 PM
  • I was separated 6 years!!

    Quoting GOBryan:

    What if the divorce took 4 years??

    Quoting mamapaparazzi:

    Sorry, I'm a traditionalist.  Until everything is final, any sexual encounter with someone who is not your soon-to-be-ex spouse is adultery to me.  Meaning I would personally feel like I was committing adultery if I did it.

    Dating without sex... borderline, in my most humble opinion.

    Sex is not so important to me that I wouldn't be able to wait for the ink to dry on divorce papers, and in that situation, if the man I wanted to be with wasn't able to wait, he wouldn't be the type I'd want to be with anyway.



  • ColtsFan1912
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 8:14 PM
  • Yes I do. I am pretty old fashion so :) but i believe until a divorce is finalized you are still "married"



    "We're in for the fight of your lives. . .who's going to fight for the weak? . . .I"m going to fight for what's right today, I'm going to speak my mind & if it kills me tonight, I am ready to die!" Skillet

  • mamapaparazzi
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 8:15 PM
  • Even if it took 4 years.  Like I said, sex isn't so important that it can't wait.

    Quoting GOBryan:

    What if the divorce took 4 years??

    Quoting mamapaparazzi:

    Sorry, I'm a traditionalist.  Until everything is final, any sexual encounter with someone who is not your soon-to-be-ex spouse is adultery to me.  Meaning I would personally feel like I was committing adultery if I did it.

    Dating without sex... borderline, in my most humble opinion.

    Sex is not so important to me that I wouldn't be able to wait for the ink to dry on divorce papers, and in that situation, if the man I wanted to be with wasn't able to wait, he wouldn't be the type I'd want to be with anyway.



    _______________________________________________


    _______________________________________________

  • ColtsFan1912
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 8:15 PM
  • I like this & agree with it

    Quoting mamapaparazzi:

    Sorry, I'm a traditionalist.  Until everything is final, any sexual encounter with someone who is not your soon-to-be-ex spouse is adultery to me.  Meaning I would personally feel like I was committing adultery if I did it.

    Dating without sex... borderline, in my most humble opinion.

    Sex is not so important to me that I wouldn't be able to wait for the ink to dry on divorce papers, and in that situation, if the man I wanted to be with wasn't able to wait, he wouldn't be the type I'd want to be with anyway.




    "We're in for the fight of your lives. . .who's going to fight for the weak? . . .I"m going to fight for what's right today, I'm going to speak my mind & if it kills me tonight, I am ready to die!" Skillet

  • Marimaru
  • by on Jul. 1, 2009 at 8:16 PM
  • I voted "no", because I don't think it would be adultery, but I also wouldn't want to date someone who's divorce wasn't final yet.  I DID date someone who's divorce wasn't final yet, but he didn't bother to tell me that part until much later, which pissed me off.

    pregnancy

    She's a girl!!

Only group members can reply to this post.

Join Group


Around CafeMom

Advertisement

© 2009 CMI Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.