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I'm Just Not Coping

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:24 AM
  • 15 Replies

My daughter is 2 yrs old and for the last couple of weeks I feel me and her are drifting apart. I don't really know how to play with her because she wont settle to one thing for very long and she can get very irritated if I try and get involved. So because of this I try and find games/activities that are extra interesting and stimulating for her and me to join in with together. But I cant seem to come up with any right now and honestly 9 times out of 10 I end up sitting watching her play on her own cos neither of us really knows how to play with the other.

 Also very rarely will she take a nap in the day. She used to sleep for 2 hrs in the afternoon. Sometimes she is so tired and cranky I let her sleep from about 11am to 12pm. This means she will be up till 10.00-10.30 that night from just that 1 hr sleep. So I'm tired and stressed cos we havent got a routine now and it ends up being a viscous circle.  I just want things to get back to when we used to laugh and play together I'm just finding it so hard right now and end up crying out of exasperation and feeling like im failing her. What can I do??

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:24 AM
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by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 8:27 AM

Sometimes, it's just a phase and she may just want to be independent for a while. 

How does she do with kids her age?  

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:45 AM

I don't know if this will interest you but I take my daughter to the library one day every week when it is toddler storytime and craft time.  I'm not crafty at all and this way we get to do that together. 

I have 3 kids, oldest is 10.  I've been a SAHM since he was born and I had that problem when my oldest was getting into building legos and playing with cars and things that I felt I didn't know how to do but I would build a tower with him and he'd be happy.  Or I'd sit on the floor and play cars with him.  He's a busy body like it sounds like your daughter is and he'd move quickly from one thing to the next and I'd follow or I'd just let him play alone and I'd watch him and comment on how good he's doing or how awesome his line of cars looks, etc.  I used to feel that being a SAHM meant that I had to spend my whole day doing things with him but my husband pointed out that he needed to do things alone and build his imagination too and that it was ok for me to let him be alone sometimes.  Maybe you are just putting too much pressure on yourself and you don't need to feel bad if she doesn't always want to play with you.

As for naps, mine always napped.  If she won't go to sleep then maybe move her bedtime and give up naps BUT make her spend some quite time in her room or something. 

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:49 AM

My son was a very cranky boy too. Part of it was a phase and part of it was solved by finding kids for him to play with and taking him to the park or swimming everyday! Good Luck!


P.S. Alex STILL prefers to play on his own. I let him guide the play.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:50 AM

sounds like DD is going through an independent stage. while she busies herself playing use the time to do something yourself. just like you may need alone time so does ur DD, even at 2yrs old. as far as the napping, idk, maybe try waking her up earlier in the day??

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:53 AM

Being Independant is a great thing.. she is learing to entertain herself.. and trust me when she wants you to play she will get you involved.  You dont want her to be independant on you you want her to be able to do her own thing and hopefully she will grow up with leadership skills...

I have 4 and my oldest was constantly mommy mommy mommy and would never play alone never entertain herself etc.. The other three have been very independant and all of them will come to me when they need or want time but other than that they do their own thing . I have not had half the problems with them as i did with my oldest she is now 21 was a horrible teenager following the crowd etc. Now as an adult she is finally asserting herself.. My youngest is 15 mths and wants to do everything herself i chersih it..

Just my opinion...

by Susie on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:54 AM

Let her play by herself and enjoy the fact she can busy herself.  Being independent is a good thing. 

Giving up naps can be a little hard but that too will pass and things will be better. 

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:55 AM

my son is 2 years old, he is mr independent and doesnt realy need mommy to entertain him anymore, but i figure thats ok. He sits in his play room and watches tv or plays with toys ect, and so often i call him out and i wil give him hugs and kisses and talk to him and try and engage him in to wanting to play with mommy but if he doesnt he will just run off or he will start giving me raspberrys on my arms and legs or will pull out books or toys to share with me.Even though i dont always understand what exactly it is he wants to do we just kinda goof off together and make are own games.Like at the dinning room table when we sit down to eat he will put his hand out and i will shake his hand he will then put his hand under the table and then put his hand out for me to shake his hand again and we will do this for a while but he thinks its funny and its something he made up on his own.IMO you just gotta follow their lead.

good luck momma, dont be sad its just one of those weird toddler things they go threw.


expecting baby

i cant believe my little boy is gonna be a big brother!!!

Wonderful Mommy to Sheamus

Loving Wife to Chris

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 11:56 AM

 If it was not for the avatar, I would have thought I wrote this post! They do not call it the "terrible twos" for no reason. They are finding their independence and becoming a little person. I know it is so hard to let go of that cuddly, sweet little baby, but we all knew coming into this, they would not stay babies forever! lol It does seem, though, they change overnight. One day they are your baby, the next morning they are a completely different child! I also feel your pain as far as naps go. We had to give them up right around my LO second birthday and my God daughter was the same way. Good luck, Mama. I know this is a trying time, but we WILL emerge on the other side! lol

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 12:06 PM

Be glad that she is content being by herself and playing alone. A lot of children won't do that and expect their parents to be right under them at all times. My son has ALWAYS been this way, completely independent and I just take advantage of it and use the time he's playing by himself to have some time to myself or to clean up around the house or whatever.

You need to start a full routine and stick to it. Wake up at a certain time every morning, nap at the same time everyday and make sure she is in bed at the same time each night. This was the only thing that saved my sanity when my son was that age. He'd go to bed around 9:30 and sleep until 11-12 with no nap between.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 12:07 PM

Just wait till she's a teen l.o.l.

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