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6th Grade Bullies...How to handle this?

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 8:52 PM
  • 21 Replies

OK, so this is interesting because although I have 2 older children, I have never had to deal with this before...

My 6th grader came home today and said that he was told by many friends that 2 boys were going to beat him up after school.

Why? Because they like a girl that likes my son.  My son has been friends with this girl for 2 years.  They are friends - althought they say "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."  This little girl lives about 10 minutes from our house, yet all summer they hung our all of 2 times!

He just started a new school.  My son is NOT a fighter.  He is very sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly!

What those boys said scared him, and he went and told a school cop.  The cop said that she spoke with them, and they of course denied it.

What should I do?  My older son would've stood up for himself, even my daughter, and would not have been so scared! 

Should I go to the school tomorrow?

Should I be picking him up from school every day so that they don't have an opportunity to hurt him??

Do I enroll him in self defense classes???

Thanks all!

Judith :)

by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Edited by
on
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Replies (1-10):
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Sep. 1, 2009 at 9:01 PM

If it were me, I'd ask your son what HE wants to do about it, and if he even wants you to do anything about it. Sometimes just telling the parent is a good feeling. Sometimes they don't want us to rescue them. Sometimes they just want to know that they're okay, and that you agree with them.

Not sure I'd run to the school. Because he already told on them, that may agravate the bullies to pick on him some more. Not that THAT shouldn't be a reason to tell the authorities, just be aware of it. I do know that the threat is often more than the reality of a beating.  

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mommyx206
by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 10:02 PM

It seems like irony, I just went to my daughters school today and talked to her teacher about her being picked on. I would request a conference meeting with the principal. I don't think talking to the teacher or whatever is going to get you anywhere. I would not influence your son's thought that violence works, but I think self defense would be a good thing for him to learn. This is just my opinion. My situation is different from yours for several reasons. We live in a small community, everyone knows everyone's parents. Second my daughter is in Kindergarten, and Three she is the smallest girl in her school. So the teacher as well as faculty agreed that she would be an easy target, which she turned out to be. With additional eye's on her, I also requested that she not be treated any differently than the other students. I don't want her to be pushed down just because someone is bigger than she is.  

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2009 at 10:08 PM

 Do NOT go to school, yet. I would call the teacher and principal and let them know what is going on. NO child should be afraid to go to school. ALL schools have a Bully Policy that they follow. My son's district has a NO tolerance policy and any instances of bullying gets taken care of quickly. Children can be severly disciplined, up to and including expulsion, for just a threat of violence. Make sure  your son knows that he can and should go to an adult at the school if he is afraid or someone threatens or harms him. If he is uncomfortable with any behavior from any child, he needs to go to an adult.  It wouldn't hurt to put him in a self defense class. It will not only teach him self defense but it will help build is self esteem.

writeon
by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 10:15 PM

teacherReally, I homeschool.

mrsallen111
by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 10:25 PM

Whatever you do do not pick him up from school. Self defence classes are a good idea. He is going to have to deal with it himself or it will start a long running problem. I hope everything works out for the best. Good Luck!

Amiss67
by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 1:11 AM

BOTH of my kids are in Tae Kwon Do classes....(3rd grader/9th grader) .Their instructor teaches the kids  a lot of self defense and has touched on just how to handle 'bullies' with the younger set.  I think it's really good for them to know AND builds up self confidence!

inkelywinkely
by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 1:36 AM

Exactly....he may want your help, he may not.  Punk is in MMA already, so he would handle himself immediately if he had to.

Quoting EireLass:

If it were me, I'd ask your son what HE wants to do about it, and if he even wants you to do anything about it. Sometimes just telling the parent is a good feeling. Sometimes they don't want us to rescue them. Sometimes they just want to know that they're okay, and that you agree with them.



katzmeow726
by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 1:45 AM

Take it from a girl who was bullied in 6th grade, you picking him up would actually make things worse.  However big kudos to him for going to the cop.  That may actually shove them off because it wasn't a teacher but law enforcement.  However I would call an speak to his teacher and the principal.  I wish my parents had done this. 
   And yes, tae kwon do or karate would be a good thing.  First off it boosts self confidence, which that alone can put off a bully.  Secondly he can defend himself.  And make sure he knows that if THEY start a fight and he can't get away, even if the school punishes him, you won't.  He needs to knwo that he can defend himself if needed.  But if he can get away he should.  I hate to say run, but some kids these days are dangerous.
   But most important, ask him what HE wants you to do.  His input is the most important part of the whole thing.
 

3gigglemonsters
by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 12:18 PM

You have gotten some good advice and you should just trust your gut.  I always tell my child to think clever and use humor first. 

I hate to hear about your son being bullied, truly I do.  If I were you (and hopefully I will not have to do this one day) I would go to the school and address it, see what options they hand you.  Go thru every avenue you can think of.  Now hopefully the bullying will not elevate but if it does you have crossed all your t's and dotted your i's.  Sadly, the school may not do anything.  And this is just me, I would enroll my child in a defense class and give him permission to go bananas on them ONLY if confronted again.  At least you could say to the school "Hey, I told you and you did nothing."  It should be on record, somewhere, that you spoke with them out of concern.  Document it yourself.

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