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An empty nest, a funeral, an E.R.

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:03 AM
  • 7 Replies

My caboose baby left for college at five in the afternoon a week ago, and I didn't have much time to adjust to an empty nest.  A half hour after he drove off down the driveway, I was in my own car, heading out to my father's nursing home and then to the hospital I was readmitting him to in a "Hail Mary" pass to try to reverse some his decline in hospice care.  Only ten hours after the fledgling had left the nest, I got the middle-of-the-night phone call that my father had expired anyway, and the cascade of funeral phone calls began and lasted the entire day and evening.  I finally turned the cell phone OFF before going to bed on the theory that the worst had to be behind me...but when I turned it on the next morning I found a couple of voicemails from my ex-husband alerting me to the fact that the fledgling had ended up in the emergency room with a severe reaction to a new medication he's taking at three in the morning.  Cue a frantic jump into the car and about fifteen phone calls by the end of the day. 

All is fine and quiet now--I had a memorial mass said yesterday for my dad and a potluck dinner right after at my house with a large quantity of German beer in his honor which certainly wouldn't have been possible in a church basement.  The actual burial will be in Chicago tomorrow.  My son has recovered from his drug reaction and we'll be seeing his doctor in a few days to chart a new course of action; and one of these days I'll actually be able to go back to work.  That would be the job I actually get paid for!

THEN the officially empty nest will start.  I haven't really had much time to get ready for it, because I've been juggling cascading and sometimes simultaneous family disasters and other family matters involving elderly relatives in Chicago since last November when my crippled mother fell and broke her leg.  There have been some stretches during my son's last year in high school when I've been more absent than not.  Thank goodness I have an ex-husband who would take not only my son for a week or so at a time but the chocolate lab too.  I wasn't happy about it, but you just can't plan for this stuff.

So...my working theory here is that once I'm back from the funeral tomorrow, I'll start working on the house, taking the next nine or ten months to get the place ready to sell.  With five bedrooms and fifteen acres of grass and woods, it is WAY too big for me to handle on my own.  And if there's spare time left over...write some more.

As a working theory on paper, it looks good.  Check back with me in three months to see how it's working!  And I'd love to hear how you girls coped with an empty nest too!

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Julie1976
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:09 AM

I don't have an empty nest but i wanted to extend my sympathies to you for the loss of your father and I'm glad your son was ok. 

proudmmx5
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:26 AM

I am truly sorry about your father and glad your son is okay.  Empty nest syndrome:  My Bill and I went on an exotic vacation to the Bahamas.  Can't afford something that extravagant.  A weekend at the spa works wonders too.  Relaxation and thinking time.  Good luck on your fix it project.  That can be wonderful therapy too.


Sheryl

pammy32953
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:33 AM

i am sorry about your dad...dont have emty nest yet will inabout 4 years or so uugg

jabs54
by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 9:31 PM

 I'm so sorry about your dad :(   My "baby" just started her senior year in high school.  I think she is going to a technical college and live at home so hopefully I won't have an empty nest :)   Sorry, I can't be of much help.   Good luck on your writing.  I always enjoy reading it.

MommyAnnaBanana
by Member on Sep. 8, 2009 at 10:10 PM

I cannot relate but I wanted to offer my sympathy.

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Dogma
by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 10:11 PM

Sorry about the loss of your father and your son's reaction to the meds.  That was more than one person should have to deal with in a day!  I am still waiting for the empty nest because my daughter and her family have lived with me for the better part of ten years now.  Your son will be home for holidays and maybe breaks, so enjoy a little time to yourself--he might just move home again later!  

DogMa (Liz) 

Liz

Brighteagle
by on Sep. 9, 2009 at 10:08 AM

  Oh, I'm sorry for your loss!!!!  I'm glad that you 've gotten help for your son.  As for the empty nest, I guess that you could say I know about it as mine all live with their father and are not allowed to visit(dad's orders).  I started by taking care of me, added in doing things I wanted to do but couldn't with the kids and topped off by relaxing as much as possible.  Maybe this will work for you.  There will be times that you feel lonely or just want to talk to someone.  If you attend church, this helps as church family can fill the spaces.   But if all else fails, we are out here!!!!  Best of Luck and Enjoy life!!!! 

  Anything is Possible.......

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