how do you survive and thrive...when it is still hard to talk about

[toothfairylady]

it.  it has been 29 years,  since the beginning of the abuse, kidnapping,  and yet i can't even tell my husband about it.   I have two kids,  and they have no idea why i go off into these moods i can't control.

[wnderwmn]

I told on my uncle for the abuse at age 5..not real sure how long it when on before that. turned out that the uncle (moms brother) raped one of his own sisters and tried with my mom. my mother was very supportive so why is it I cant tell her about the neighborhood boy who raped me...is it because I went to his house knowing we were gonna fool around..or why cant I tell her about when I was 17 yrs old at a party and a married man I just met took advantage of the fact that I was drunk and took me to his truck where he kept me for hours...is it because I knew I wasnt supose to go to that party or be drinking? I do know this...to this day  (33 yrs old now) I feel ashamed and guilty and like no one would ever believe it happened that many times. I have shared with my husband to some degree and he is very supportive. I hope this place is a safe place for all who NEED to talk about our past. I thought about going to get councling but just would rather not.

[Carmen_Lolita]

It's hard to tell a story like that. To share a part of your life you wish never happen. Your husband would be understanding and still love you no matter what. If you start talking about it to someone close, that you  can talk to about anything it'll get easier to talk about. That's what I had to do and I'm still working on it. Be strong you can overcome this.

[helenc32]

Quoting wnderwmn:

I told on my uncle for the abuse at age 5..not real sure how long it when on before that. turned out that the uncle (moms brother) raped one of his own sisters and tried with my mom. my mother was very supportive so why is it I cant tell her about the neighborhood boy who raped me...is it because I went to his house knowing we were gonna fool around..or why cant I tell her about when I was 17 yrs old at a party and a married man I just met took advantage of the fact that I was drunk and took me to his truck where he kept me for hours...is it because I knew I wasnt supose to go to that party or be drinking? I do know this...to this day  (33 yrs old now) I feel ashamed and guilty and like no one would ever believe it happened that many times. I have shared with my husband to some degree and he is very supportive. I hope this place is a safe place for all who NEED to talk about our past. I thought about going to get councling but just would rather not.

I have a similiar situation. I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 8 to 15. I was able to tell my mom about that but I was never able to tell her that several cousins (all much older) and 3 different uncles also molested me. I think it is because somehow I feel it must be my fault. Something about me seemed to attract these men to me. Somehow it was my fault because it happened so many times with so many men. I think another thing is that I never tried to fight any of them off. I would just go to my "happy place" and try to block it all out. I wonder how many other women feel the same way.......