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My Complete Molar Pregnancy

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:46 PM
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Everything was going great starting last Monday, I was 10 weeks along and as of then had no morning sickness or any of the "bad" things associated with pregnancy.  I was estatic to be pregnant again and all I could think about was when I would feel the baby move, it couldn't come fast enough. 

It all started Tuesday, when I woke up and went pee I noticed I was bleeding a little, but I've heard that these types of things can happen while your pregnant, they didn't happen with either of the boys, but I figured every pregnancy is different.  I had my appointment Wednesday and got all my vitals done and blood work, I also made sure to ask about the bleeding.  The nurse was not too concerned about it, since it wasn't much at all, but she did say to call back tomorrow if it was still going on or got any waorse or I had cramps.

I woke up Wednesday and I was still bleeding and cramping some, so I called my doctor.  She scheduled me to come in at 1:30 to make sure everything was OK, she seemed more concerned about my cough than the bleeding.   I get to the doctor's office and sure enough I have bronchitis.  We get done doing the usual exam stuff and then comes the internal ultrasound.

As soon as she put it in and started moving it around I could tell something was wrong, I didn't see anything other than a blob or gray and black.  She continued to look for a minute or two and then told me "You are right, this is not a normal pregnancy."  When she said that it was like someone had just poked a whole in my happy bubble that was filled with all my hopes and dreams of this little baby inside me.  I was shocked.

She went on to explain that I had a complete molar pregnancy.  That this baby that I had come to love did not exist, and never did.  A molar pregnancy is caused when either a egg or sperm is defective, basically empty of genetic material.  There are two different types, a partial and a complete.  A partial molar pregnancy is when a baby develops, but inevitably the baby dies at some point during the pregnancy because of the missing genetic information, it can usually be diagnosed because of an abnormal placenta.  A complete molar pregnancy is when no baby develops, just an abnormal placenta.

I was devastated when I found this out.  On top of all that, molar pregnancies can cause cancer.  With a partial molar pregnancy the risk of getting caner is 5%, with a complete molar pregnancy it is 20%.  I had to have a D&C done soon to remove the abnormal tissue.,  it was scheduled for Friday at 12:30, not even 24 hours after learning the news.

The D&C went fine, as fine as one can go at least.  It can take up to a month to get the test results in, saying if it was cancerous or not.  Until then I have to get my blood drawn every two weeks to make sure my Hcg levels are going down, once they go down to zero I can have them done once a month.  I have to wait at least 6 months to get prenant again or the chances of the molar pregnancy coming back are higher and it can cause a miscarriage of the new baby if it does come back. 

I'm still in shock about it all, and it is just now kinda starting to sink in that I am not pregnant anymore.   I just don't get why in the world this happened to me.  The only "risk factor" I had was I am white.  I'm 22, no where NEAR the age ranges.  I was getting so excited to have another little baby and Austin was soooo excited, he was always asking about "the baby in my tummy".  I know its stupid to be sad over something that was never there in the first place, but I just can't get over it.  I'm also going to be on BC for the next 6 months, bc I don't want to take any chance of anything like this happening again.  It will be my first time on BC and I'm kinda nervous about it.  I went today to get the prescription and it really hit me.  I sat in the parking lot and just cried for about 10 minutes.

I've been trying to stay busy constantly doing something, and every time I am not I can't help but think about it.  I'm glad that it wasn't an actual miscarriage, but this is FAR from what I was expecting to hear and it has all just happenened so fast I don't know how to process it all.  I feel like my body failed me, like I did something wrong and caused this to happen.  Maybe if I hadn't done drugs when I was a teenager, hadn't been taking Benadryl when I got pregnant or had done something different...  Gram is being very supportive, but I don't think he really understands how much this really does hurt me.

I'm trying to stay "positive" but the more I think about it there really is NOTHING positive to come out of it.  I never thought something like this would happen to me.  Sorry, I know I am rambling...darn percocets. 

by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:46 PM
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