Sound Issues

I know that my son has always been sensitive to sound and to tone.  He seems to pick up on tension in a voice or room, which then creates tension in him.  I also am sensitive to sound, often hearing little things like clocks or buzzing sounds that others may hear as white noise.  Joseph and I both like quiet.  We have to TV's in a small apartment.  But if you walked in when we were both watching different shows, you probably wouldn't even hear them.

I think some Aspies can't shut out or separate sounds.  Right now my computer is buzzing and the heater clicked on and the neighbors downstairs are talking.  But I can shut those out and do whatever.  I think Aspie's have a harder time doing that.  Think about sitting in the middle of a busy mall and trying to listen to everything that is going on around you.  Most of us can't because we have the ability to focus just what is important to us at that time.  But some Aspie's don't have that filter.  I think this is why they tend to hyper concentrate on some things.  They draw all their energy and focus to one thing and that's the only way they can block out all the other stuff.  Does that make sense or am I rambling?  LOL!!!

That makes perfect sense, thank you so much!  I'm one of those people myself who can't tolerate the stereo or the t.v. on very loud and then have someone want to talk to me. 

I just forgot what I was going to say, haha!  I'm sorry, I've spent the day spring cleaning and I'm exhausted out now!

Thank you again!

Ok, here's my take on noise sensitivity:

I am very sensitive to noise, aways have been. I can hear sounds in levels that dogs hear (it was tested and I could actually hear a dog whistle- funny isn't it?!)
I hear electricity running inside the cords in the walls, I hear water in the pipes, I hear the TV sounds that it makes when it is actually off (yes, it does make sounds, I'm not crazy!), I hear the refrigerator buzzing, I even hear the quiet, and again- it has a distinctive sound (not crazy, again!)...and it goes on and on...
As a child, I used to cry and shout when noise really hurt my ears or bothered me. I used to shout, to talk over the noises I heard and I did it so much that I damaged my vocal chords and my mom was told that I'd have to whisper for a whole year if talk at all or else I'd have to go through a surgery and won't be able to have a voice altogether. I remember that year as one of the worse years ever during childhood, because I had to be quiet while the rest of the world around me was still noisy. I couldn't do anything to attract my attention from all the different noises and focus on my own voice! :-(

As an adult, now, I have learned over the years to filter SOME of the noises, although it is still very difficult for me as many times I still find myself raising my voice when to others it seems inappropriate (e.g- at the dinner table when the people talk along with the noise that their utensils make, the buzzing of the refrigerator and the noise of the dogs- altogether can just make me climb the walls), I also tend to put my hands on my ears at times (like in a crowded store at the mall or a party).
Noise has always been hard for me to handle ad could always trigger meltdowns.
Even talking is often noise to me because if more than one person speaks I can't follow the conversation and process what I hear- I have to watch people's lips in order to process what I hear, so more than one person at a time is very confusing and overwhelming in a conversation and I lose a lot of what they're talking about...that's when it sounds like noise to me and it's added to the other noise I hear in the background.

Michal

Quoting micO:

Ok, here's my take on noise sensitivity:

I am very sensitive to noise, aways have been. I can hear sounds in levels that dogs hear (it was tested and I could actually hear a dog whistle- funny isn't it?!)
I hear electricity running inside the cords in the walls, I hear water in the pipes, I hear the TV sounds that it makes when it is actually off (yes, it does make sounds, I'm not crazy!), I hear the refrigerator buzzing, I even hear the quiet, and again- it has a distinctive sound (not crazy, again!)...and it goes on and on...
As a child, I used to cry and shout when noise really hurt my ears or bothered me. I used to shout, to talk over the noises I heard and I did it so much that I damaged my vocal chords and my mom was told that I'd have to whisper for a whole year if talk at all or else I'd have to go through a surgery and won't be able to have a voice altogether. I remember that year as one of the worse years ever during childhood, because I had to be quiet while the rest of the world around me was still noisy. I couldn't do anything to attract my attention from all the different noises and focus on my own voice! :-(

As an adult, now, I have learned over the years to filter SOME of the noises, although it is still very difficult for me as many times I still find myself raising my voice when to others it seems inappropriate (e.g- at the dinner table when the people talk along with the noise that their utensils make, the buzzing of the refrigerator and the noise of the dogs- altogether can just make me climb the walls), I also tend to put my hands on my ears at times (like in a crowded store at the mall or a party).
Noise has always been hard for me to handle ad could always trigger meltdowns.
Even talking is often noise to me because if more than one person speaks I can't follow the conversation and process what I hear- I have to watch people's lips in order to process what I hear, so more than one person at a time is very confusing and overwhelming in a conversation and I lose a lot of what they're talking about...that's when it sounds like noise to me and it's added to the other noise I hear in the background.

Michal

Wow, I didn't realize a person could be so sensitive to sounds!  That explains the things she tells me she hears, when I can't hear anything out of the ordinary.  The noises don't cause meltdowns, they just really irritate her.  Could this be why she has a problem with knowing when to talk quietly?  Kat talks loud most of the time and gets irritated when I ask her to talk quietly, but can't tell me why.

I feel so stupid, we spent the last few years thinking she was saying these things to get attention.  She doesn't communicate very well, she can talk great, but she has such a hard time understanding what we say to her, does that make sense?  It's been very hard to understand what really bothers her.  We're trying to learn though.  It's almost like learning a second language for me as I'm one of those people who use lots of metaphors and figures of speech when I'm talking.  I can't tell you how many times she got in trouble at church because she'd hold her hands over her ears when the choir sang.  I can see times in the past that I was such a rotten Mom.

Are there any things we can do to help her with the sounds?  Would doing things like turning off the t.v. while we talk to her help any? 

Quoting KatsMom01:

Wow, I didn't realize a person could be so sensitive to sounds!  That explains the things she tells me she hears, when I can't hear anything out of the ordinary.  The noises don't cause meltdowns, they just really irritate her.  Could this be why she has a problem with knowing when to talk quietly?  Kat talks loud most of the time and gets irritated when I ask her to talk quietly, but can't tell me why.

I feel so stupid, we spent the last few years thinking she was saying these things to get attention.  She doesn't communicate very well, she can talk great, but she has such a hard time understanding what we say to her, does that make sense?  It's been very hard to understand what really bothers her.  We're trying to learn though.  It's almost like learning a second language for me as I'm one of those people who use lots of metaphors and figures of speech when I'm talking.  I can't tell you how many times she got in trouble at church because she'd hold her hands over her ears when the choir sang.  I can see times in the past that I was such a rotten Mom.

Are there any things we can do to help her with the sounds?  Would doing things like turning off the t.v. while we talk to her help any? 

Blaming yourself for not understanding her issue won't help anyone. You didn't know!
But now that you do, what's important is what you can do to help her from now on!

Yes, turning off the TV when you're talking with her may help !
Another thing that came to mind when you said that she doesn't understand you when you talk to her, is that she might have the auditory processing disorder, like I do.
As an experiment, try to have her look at your lips when you speak to her and see if she can understand you better!
Do it, NOT when you give her instructions.

As for instruction- I don't know how you give instructions but I know how you should be giving them for her to understand them, so if you give complex instructions (one that is made out of a few), then it's no wonder that she can't get them. You see, Aspies tend to have a processing problem, so multiple parts to one instruction tend to confuse and overwhelm us!
For example, if you say: go to your room, pick up your toys and then bring your shoes over here
This is a complex sentence and many Aspies won't know how to even start responding to it.
My youngest, for example, would freez in his place and do nothing (it used to get him in trouble at school, until they finally got it and started dividing those instructions to clear short sentences).

Anyway, if your daughter understands you better when she looks at your lips/face while you're talking, Then she probably has an auditory processing disorder and I recommend that you get in touch with OT for proper evaluation and to see if something can be done to help her.
It's not easy to live with it, but  you can get used to it.
My main problem with it is the phone (there I can't see people's lips and I tend to understand things differently than what people said), next problem is when you're in a group and more than one person speaks (impossible to track everyone's lips at the same time, so I use my husband as an interpreter- ask him what people said)...

As for talking loud- many Aspies talk loud because we don't feel we do. some of us do it because we need our own voice to focus on and others simply are unaware of the level of their own voice compared with others (something that is needed to be learned. I taught my sons about "inside voice" and "outside voice" when they were young)

Michal

I'll have her look at my lips and mouth today to see if that helps.  Thank you for the idea!

Her old doctor, the one who retired, mentioned the auditory processing disorder 2 years ago, and told me to have the school test her.  I asked them to do it, and the lady told me to talk to her speech therapist, who tested her auditory - perceptual skills.  This was in first grade.  She was 7 at the time of the test, and she scored at 4 years old on some parts and then at the highest, she scored at the 6 year old range.  They still insisted she was within normal range, did we miss something?  Did we do the right test?  The school was confused about what I was asking for.

Don't get me started on this one. At my son's IEP this Wednesday his school facilitator says he uses noise for an excuse.  IF he doesn't know on answer on a test he will say the noise in the room is to much.  Complicated math problems he needs absolute quiet to figure them out.  Noise cause anxiety and don't you forget things when you have anxiety?  She just doesn't get it, how noise effects people with Asperger's

Quoting dewey:

Don't get me started on this one. At my son's IEP this Wednesday his school facilitator says he uses noise for an excuse.  IF he doesn't know on answer on a test he will say the noise in the room is to much.  Complicated math problems he needs absolute quiet to figure them out.  Noise cause anxiety and don't you forget things when you have anxiety?  She just doesn't get it, how noise effects people with Asperger's

I'm sorry you're having trouble with your son's facilitator at school :-(.  She doesn't sound very understanding.

The more I'm learning, the more I see we all have these traits in some form or another.  I know when the kids are all rowdy, I wouldn't be able to balance a checkbook to save my life!

The puzzle pieces are coming together for us, and I'm trying to learn which ones I can help her with. 

Quoting dewey:

Don't get me started on this one. At my son's IEP this Wednesday his school facilitator says he uses noise for an excuse.  IF he doesn't know on answer on a test he will say the noise in the room is to much.  Complicated math problems he needs absolute quiet to figure them out.  Noise cause anxiety and don't you forget things when you have anxiety?  She just doesn't get it, how noise effects people with Asperger's

Sometimes I just wish I could do a workshop in schools  and have all teachers and staff participate, where they have to take a test or have an assignment with doing math problems or something involving thinking and answering questions while the kids of their classes are making lots of noise around- then they'd be able see how much THEY can complete and how anxious They'd get. Once they're done, they would better understand Aspies and kids with sensory issues in general, because if THEY got anxious and had a problem focusing on the task, they'd be able to better imagine what it's like for our kids.

Handing out printouts and explaining to them always seems like it isn't enough...they just don't believe that it can be that disruptive. I just wish they could feel it for once!

Michal