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Field trips/Identifying with your child
My son was recently on a field trip to the local park and playground. He was excited about it for a while, but quickly become over-stimulated and got in a difficult situation with a much younger boy who was not part of the school group. I was there, so I helped him disengage although the other mother's way of dealing with things was to stand between my son and hers wiht her back to us and pretend like we weren't there. Fabulous.
After that it was time to play organized games and races. My son didn't want to. He hates races and games and he wanted to come home with me. I gave him the schpiel about games being fun and it doesn't matter who wins or loses and then I left. I couldn't stand being at the park another minute. It was too bright and too loud and I was stressed by all those people.
It then occurred to me that at the same time my dh was at work blowing off a Memorial Weekend kick-off party given by his boss because he hates socializing with his co-workers. Unless they're talking work (computers) he has nothing to say. It put my son's diagnosis into perspective for me, and I felt bad for leaving him in a situation he disliked that really had no educational value.
So this leads me to the next field trip - They're going to the zoo in two weeks. My son has hated the zoo since the beginning. It smells really bad to him. We haven't been there since he was 3, but the odor could at times make him wretch. Now, his ability to deal with sensory input has improved considerably and I think he might be okay with it at age 9. But I'm not sure a school field is the way to find out. My husband thinks we shouldn't set the precedent of giving him an out of these kind of situations, because otherwise how will he get used to them. But having gone through oh, so many school situationsmyself, and still being unable to deal with the overstimulation of being herded in a large group through noisy environs, I don't think it makes a difference.
Should I make him go on the field trip despite his possible sensory difficulties? Am I over-identifying with him and choosing what I would want, rather than what's best for him? Any input is appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
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- by on May. 24, 2009 at 1:40 PM
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It's a difficult question and it depends on how you see this issue (where you stand). I had this option just this week with O, when he came home crying, telling me that on June 3rd he has a field trip to IMAX and afterwards they's supposed to go for lunch in McDonalds. Fun, right?
Not for O!
See, O hates IMAX . He hates the 3D glasses, which usually give him a rash (don't know why), he hates watching 3D movies because he gets scared (too loud and the fact that they come out close to his face scare him) and to top it all...he hates McDonalds!!!
So he cried.
I'm not one to make him go and be miserable or have a meltdown in font of his classmates, so I told him that he has 2 options- one is to go with his friends and try to have as much fun as he can, and the other is not to go (but take under consideration that he might be the only one that didn't go).
He didn't like either option (he wanted the whole trip not to exist), but eventually decided on his own- to go!!!
I'm not making him do it, and he's the one that decided, so my guess is that he will do just fine that day and learn that it' not the end of the world.
Why did he decide to go? apperantly, kids who aren't going have to do some essay in History (since one of the movies they'll watch is related to what they study in History) and he doesn't want to do it. LOLAnyway, my point is- I always give my boys 2 options and let them decide what's best for them. They certainly know how badly they feel in these situation and can asses on their own (yes even a age 9) if they can handle these sensory overloads or not!
by the way, up until now (since they started school), my boys always chose to go when i gave them this option. just so you know.
Hope this helps you in some way,
Michal
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- by on May. 26, 2009 at 5:28 PM
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Quoting micO:
It's a difficult question and it depends on how you see this issue (where you stand). I had this option just this week with O, when he came home crying, telling me that on June 3rd he has a field trip to IMAX and afterwards they's supposed to go for lunch in McDonalds. Fun, right?
Not for O!
See, O hates IMAX . He hates the 3D glasses, which usually give him a rash (don't know why), he hates watching 3D movies because he gets scared (too loud and the fact that they come out close to his face scare him) and to top it all...he hates McDonalds!!!
So he cried.
I'm not one to make him go and be miserable or have a meltdown in font of his classmates, so I told him that he has 2 options- one is to go with his friends and try to have as much fun as he can, and the other is not to go (but take under consideration that he might be the only one that didn't go).
He didn't like either option (he wanted the whole trip not to exist), but eventually decided on his own- to go!!!
I'm not making him do it, and he's the one that decided, so my guess is that he will do just fine that day and learn that it' not the end of the world.
Why did he decide to go? apperantly, kids who aren't going have to do some essay in History (since one of the movies they'll watch is related to what they study in History) and he doesn't want to do it. LOLAnyway, my point is- I always give my boys 2 options and let them decide what's best for them. They certainly know how badly they feel in these situation and can asses on their own (yes even a age 9) if they can handle these sensory overloads or not!
by the way, up until now (since they started school), my boys always chose to go when i gave them this option. just so you know.
Hope this helps you in some way,
MichalMy son hates school field trips. A school bus with forty screaming kids doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me either. I have been on plenty of field trips and they are not fun.
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- by on Jun. 3, 2009 at 10:38 AM
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Quick update - I gave him the choice and he is now going. I'm going as well, so at least I can be there if he has any meltdowns. But - I don't want to go either. LOL Too much chaos. I'm sure it will be fine. Thanks for your responses.
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- by on Jun. 4, 2009 at 8:29 AM
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Quoting oddgirl:
Quick update - I gave him the choice and he is now going. I'm going as well, so at least I can be there if he has any meltdowns. But - I don't want to go either. LOL Too much chaos. I'm sure it will be fine. Thanks for your responses.
LOLTold you they choose to go.
a quick tip: take earplugs with you for both of you- just in case you guys need them.
Yesterday was O's field trip to the IMAX (the one I told you that he didn't want to go, but decided to go anyway)- he took earplugs with him and did very well. Came back home and said that the earplugs worked very well and it wasn't too loud in there for him as he was afraid it would be. As for Mc'donalds- he did fine there too; even though he hated the food, he treated himself to icecream at the end and that comforted him, so he was pretty pleased about the experience not being as bad as he thought it would be, and I was happy that he went through with what he decided to do and came out fine on his own!Good luck!!!
Michal
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