Dance of Change

[MmaMaMa1203]

Hi everyone,

I have been gone for over a year but I used to be very active in this group because I love writing. I was actively writing a novel back then and since then have put that dream on hold. However, I am back on track with it. So will you please read what I have so far and either let me know what you think? I am wondering if I should change the plot to have the main character be returning home because she left college and her sister died, rather then her husband. What do you guys think?

Thanks!

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          A small blue car snaked its way around a small reservoir headed toward the California coast. Tall pine trees reflected into the lake like tormented icicles, mirroring the sad torture in the driver's heart.  Joanie had left her life behind her. Just a month ago, her husband had died in an accident on the job. Phillip loved his job, reveling in the adrenaline rush and beauty of nature as an extreme outdoor sportsman and tour guide of the Rocky Mountains. He had broken a company rule and went alone to check the conditions of a steep rock face after a big storm, and had lost his footing only to plummet to the base of the mountain. Joanie continually asked herself and God why it had to be that way. Why it had to be now?

            A large splatter of green guts on the windshield startled her back to attention. She tried to use the wipers and fluid to get it off but it just smeared into a dingy arc. She drove on until she saw a turnout and pulled over. She dug through the bags that littered the passenger seat, and then looked on the back seat floorboard. Ah ha, there were some napkins to clear the view.

            She took a moment to grin as she glanced at her daughter, who was curled up against the door and window, breathing steadily against her ball of a billabong sweatshirt. She had grown up so fast, and would be starting high school in a little over a week. She was the only reason for living now; her Faith.

            Grabbing the napkins, Joanie stepped out into a bombardment of memories. The bitter scent of fur and pine trees fused with the luscious tang of dogwood and wild lilac, bring her to woeful tears. Every bit of her heart and body felt Colorado engulfing her. Summer in the mountains was the same everywhere. But she couldn't help but think that she would never enjoy another hike in this heavenly haven with Phillip again. For a second, her chest contracted and she had to sob to breath again. She slumped against her car and let go of the pain that had accumulated since the last time she had thought of Phillip.

            "Mom are you okay?"

            Faith had woken up to the sound of her tears. Joanie quickly wiped her face and straightened.

            "Yes, Hun. Just cleaning off the windshield."

            The following day, Faith sat up straighter to read a large, green sign as they passed it: Richford Valley, Population: 3,200. The pine giants gave way to brown grass blowing over soft hills. To their left, an A-frame barn leaned exhaustedly to the left, its roof caved in. The freeway expanded its lanes to welcome them onward. They passed dirt roads leading to the right and left, no hint of where they lead revealed with signs or mailboxes. The old mill, now silent and calm, looked sad to Joanie. Had it really been sixteen years since she had sped past that bustling complex to make a life of her own?

            Nostalgic brick buildings came into view. The old mine town that use to boast of Richford Valley's peak in economic wealth had fallen sadly to disrepair. Several windows were broken and boarded over. Joanie felt sick at the sight of the old Timberjack Shack's front face. The open sign in the window told her it still survived despite the rough exterior. She pointed it out to Faith.

            "That used to be where we all hung out when I was in high school."

            "Really? Looks a bit dumpy."

            "Its seen better days."

            Further on, they left main street and came to the newer part of town, if it can be called that. One of the two supermarkets had gone out of business, as well as a barber shop and book store. But a few new signs swung to advertise that the townsfolk had done what they could to keep the community alive. The old hardware store had become Hayley's Feed Store and the county library had become the Delightful Florist in Main Square. She noticed the old black clock by the post office didn't keep time anymore.  Everything was different and nothing had changed.

            Just beyond the Assembly of God church, Joanie turned onto Riverside Road and the Richford Inn came into view.  It was just as she remembered with only one exception, the building's new green paint. The same wide deck wrapped around two sides of the house, giving guests amazing views of the river and meadow beyond it. The three upper rooms' balconies still had their matching brass hummingbird feeders hanging from the edge of the gray shingled roof. And the angled wall of windows facing westward glistened with the brilliant rays of the nearly-set sun.

            They didn't turn down to the Inn but instead followed the gravel driveway around it and paralleled the river up to a flat that housed a small plum and apple orchard. Its run down chicken wired boundary lead them to a large aluminum gate.

            "Where's Ticker?" Joanie wondered aloud.

            "Who's Ticker, Mom?"

            A deep, rusty bark echoed from the other side of the gate. Joanie smiled and pointed for Faith. "He was my best friend. He was a pup when I left for Colorado. He's so old now!"

            Faith then saw the graying golden retriever's head behind the gate's cross bars. She smiled and glanced at her mom, who put the car in park and turned it off.

            By that time, Grandma Kay was half way across the yard hollering at Ticker to heel.

            "Your dog still don't do what he's told." Her normally sharp gray eyes held only a mild dose of sympathy. "Thank the Lord you both made it!  Faith, baby girl, you have grown up!" She swung the gate open and wrapped her grand daughter in a hug.

            "Yes Mom, we made it fine" Ticker still knew Joanie after all these years. He leaned against her leg and looked at her adoringly. Those amber eyes were medicinal.

            Grandma Kay showed Faith to her room upstairs, but Joanie headed to the back of the house under the staircase without question. Her once rebel-teen decorated room, boasting rock and roll posters, tons of albums, and dark walnut furniture, had only been toned down slightly. The furniture had remained in the same set up, but had been accented with a pale green and yellow comforter set. It felt fresh and soothing to Joanie; She needed more of that in her life. She unpacked her clothes into the tall dresser by the window seat and stashed her luggage into the bottom of her closet, all the while thinking back to her younger years and the girl she used to be.

            Soon, both mother and daughter followed the hearty scent of Grandma Kay's specialty meal to the bright, recently updated kitchen. Her creamy chicken biscuit casserole brought home the prize for "Best Home-cooked Meal" from the County Fair almost every year. No one could get her to give away her secrets, nor share her recipe. That was the way she liked it.

            "Hope you ladies are hungry. I made enough chicken and biscuits to feed half the county!" She chuckled as she dished out three helpings into her antique yellow-flowered dishware.

            "Faith might not want much Mama. She eats pretty healthy, and so, pretty picky." Joanie joked.

            "Mom, even tofu couldn't liven up Grandma Kay's Chicken and biscuits!"

            "You eat that stuff, Baby Girl?"

            "Well yeah, Grandma Kay. Its good for me, and gives me lots of energy for dancing. Although don't know how much dancing I'll be doing in this rink-a-dink town. Do they even have a dance studio?"

            Joanie shook her head slightly and smothered a grin as Grandma Kay motioned for them to sit down and then headed to the fridge.

            "Not that I know of. Maybe the school counselor can help you with that next week. Well now, I made a salad to go with the casserole, knowing you were all about healthy now, or so your mom told me." She gave Faith a wink. "Even got some late season summer squash in it from Pastor Mel's garden. He's looking forward to seeing you both on Sunday. Would you two like ranch or Italian dressing?"

            "Italian please," Faith replied.

            "Yes, that's fine," Joanie answered before continuing. "Mama, I don't think I'm going to Church Sunday."

            "Now Joanie, Pastor Mel wants to see you! It's been so long. He prays for you at least once a month in his congregational prayers with the whole church body. Not to mention Ramona and Betsy and Claire and everyone else want to say hi..." She sat down as she hesitated, "...and give their condolences."

            An awkward silence fell over the table. Faith picked at her biscuits, eyes downcast, and sad thoughts reeling through her mind. Grandma Kay served herself some salad greens and looked up at her daughter. Joanie's face shifted from pain to a red, embarrassed scowl.

            "I don't want their prayers, especially their sympathetic ones. God let this happen. Tell them to pray for Faith." She stood up from the table and headed for the sunroom beyond her bedroom at the rear of the house. "I need some air."

            Once she reached the screened-in room, she took a shaky inhale and only paused long enough to call for Ticker. She met him at the bottom of the porch stairs and walked around the house and up toward the orchard's north end to her bridge log. The old redwood trunk had long ago been laid across this now-dry creek bed. The log was tucked in among some willows. This had always been her hide-a-way, her safe place. She slumped down onto its weathered wood and buried her face into Ticker's chest. Her tears were impossible to suppress. They flooded her eyes, and stole her breath. Soon she wailed, taking gulps of air and crying out in anguish with each exhale. Ticker shifted with concern and licked her chin.

            "Why God?" She suddenly screamed at the sky. "Why would you let this happen? Why? Answer me! If you are such a good God why would you let me suffer? Let Faith suffer!" She continued to sob, holding tight fistfuls of the fur at Ticker's neck.

            By the time Joanie headed back to the house, crickets were chirping their squeaky sounds and she could only make out the way to the house by her memory and Ticker's excellent sense of direction.

            As the screen door creaked shut behind her, Faith's athletic silhouette shifted in the swing seat to Joanie's right and sigh in reassurance.

            "Hey Hun, did you finish dinner?"

            "Yeah, and helped Grandma Kay clean up the kitchen," she looked at her hands then up at Joanie, sadness radiating from her eyes.

            "Mom, this is hard for me too, you know? I thought we came out here to be together and deal together. I can't help you if you won't let me." she swallowed hard, "I miss Daddy too."

            "I know that."

            "And Grandma cares. She's trying to help too. She didn't have to welcome us here. You haven't ever made the effort to come home and visit."

            "Your grandma is pushing me. She always does. I know she wants the best for us, but she can't be a fix-it man!" The fire of her voice evaporated, "This isn't fixable."

            "That doesn't mean its impossible Mom." Faith's eyes glistened for only a moment, then she wiped at her left eye and stood up form the swing. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning?"

            "Yeah Hun. I love you." Joanie stepped over and enveloped Faith in a bear hug. They both squeezed tightly with their arms twice, as was their own special way.

 

            The lime green sticky note on the coffee pot read:

Joanie,

            There's hot water here for your tea. The peppermint bags are still kept in the same place. Faith is with me at the Inn. Make your way over here when you are ready.

                        -Mama Kay

 

            The warm kitchen's inviting colors and big windows only hurt her eyes. She felt like a bat flying at noon time, it just wasn't natural. Her cheeks and forehead felt swollen and droopy from last night's escapade, and she couldn't help feeling a little bit guilty and selfish. But through her shame, she couldn't help smiling because her Mama remembered what type of tea she loved after so many years and still kept it in the old pooh-bear tin above the refrigerator. Joanie had clung to that flakey-painted thing and begged for it at a VFD yard sale when she was six years old. Why hadn't Mama put it in something more sophisticated to match her renovated home?

            Once her hands burned against the lilac ceramic coffee cup that held her beverage, she began to wonder around the living room. All the ragged bits of  her childhood had been given up for more cultured pieces. The clean lined furniture in calming hues of green and lavender accents just didn't feel like home to her.

            "It's a good thing Pops isn't living anymore. He'd hate this!" She thought out loud. Instantly, her whole self regretted the words. Death was real, always there to break her down again. Both the important men in her life were gone.

            She slumped to a chair, absorbed in her heart wrenching thoughts. [Insert memories here]. It took her a few moments to remember where she was, so involved was she in her memories.

            An 80's song blasted into her ears, drowning out her anguish. Her cell phone was ringing. Joanie had to smile; It was Bella.

            "Buenos dias, Chickita!"

            "Buenos Dias, Mamita! How are you? How's Faith?"

            The enthusiasm in Bella's voice and the fact that Joanie's best friend still cared make her voice crack and eyes water. "We made it okay. Faith is hanging in there. Still hates the though to being so far away from society, as she puts it. But she loves Grandma Kays house and spoils our dog Ticker. How are you? Did the Moore's wedding go well?"

            "Yes, they loved our work. Mike will be sending your final commission check this week."

            "Thank you. " She grew quiet, awaiting the subject she knew was coming. Bella never missed anything.

            "The estate sale went well. Sold about everything of its value. The charity truck came for the rest of it yesterday."

            "Thank you for taking care of everything, Bella. I just couldn't have done it. As it was, it was hard to pack what I did to come out to California."

            "I know. No problema. So how are you really?" She chuckled, "I guess that is a stupid question."

            "Joanie smiled, but her heart sank. "I am hurting like hell. And my mom is driving me crazy already. She's trying to convince me to go to church tomorrow. I just don't want to but she insists that I should."

            "Well it could be good for you."

            "Yeah. Or it could be pointless and embarrassing."

            "You shouldn't let Phillip's death hinder your relationship with God. But whatever you decide, stay strong! And call me anytime, one in the morning, whatever."

            "Thank you. Tell Rob I said hi."

            "I will. Love you girl!"

            "Love you too. Bye."

            She snapped her phone shut just the way Phillip has always warned her would wear out the hinge of her cell. Her spirit crumbled again. Would she ever have a thought that wouldn't lead to her husband and the fact that he was gone?

 

 

[karriewren]

I didn't finish reading this yet but  I think you did quite well. I love how you describe the back ground scenery.

[wvcoffeechick]

have u thought of what route u are gonna use for publishing?