Chapter 4
That evening, Michael found Laurissa standing at the railing; the wind racing through her hair as the last rays of the sun sank below the horizon. The light from the boat's cabin brought some of her out of the shadows emerging shadows; enough for him to see that she was wearing a pair of his pants and one of his shirts. For a moment, he admired how they draped on her body. He grinned. It wasn't a bad look for her, he thought as he approached her quietly.
"No wonder you're good at your job," she said softly, yet suddenly as she turned around to look at him. "You're quiet . . ."
He smirked. "And yet you knew I was there."
"When you're a mother you learn to have eyes in the back of your head," she replied evenly. .
"Where are your children?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer. He wanted her to tell him. Hearing it from her lips would avoid any questions and it would imply a certain level of trust he would have gained with her.
She was quiet as she turned her attention back out to the ocean. "They're dead . . ." she said, her voice cracking as images of her smiling children came to her. Their voices and their laughter echoed through her mind. Just ghosts of what once was. Her instinct was to stop the tears. She had cried so many already. But it didn't stop them from misting her eyes and threaten to fall. She didn't want him to see them . . . She couldn't let him see them.
Laurissa Fox wanted to appear so strong, but he could tell it was merely a façade. It was the front she had learned to display, though her heart held the pain tightly to her.
"I'm sorry for your loss . . ." he replied.
Finally her attention returned to him in a sideways glance, assessed him. His voice was sincere . . . The look in his dark eyes were sincere.
"Then just kill me," she said; the pleading in her voice was echoed in her eyes as she turned completely around to face him. "And I'll be with them again."
"Is that what you believe? That if you die you will be reunited with your children?" he asked curious. He wasn't much of a believer in life after death. "Is that the only reason?"
She sighed and turned away again; the wind now blowing directly into her face. "Should there be another reason?" she said, not wanting to look into his penetrating dark eyes. "You don't understand what it's like to lose your children . . . The pain rips through you like a knife . . . draining the joy and happiness you once had, only the cutting never stops . . . The pain goes on and on and on, even when there's nothing left . . ."
"And when your father died three years ago?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "He was the only real family I had; the only one who loved me," she replied with a sigh. "Look, I don't want you to feel sorry for me," she added as she turned to face him. "You want to know about me, fine. I'll answer whatever questions you want But I want your word that after all is said and done, you'll complete the job my brother hired you for . . ."
"And if I say no?" he asked, as her gauge her response carefully.
"Then I don't have to talk to you," she replied. "Please . . . promise me . . ." Her green eyes were begging him for release from the pain.
In a move he had not planned, he took a step closer to her and caressed her face. "Is that truly what you want?" he asked.
To her surprise, his touch felt electric against her skin. It was a sensation she hadn't felt for a long time, if ever. She couldn't deny the fact to herself that she did consider him very attractive and she'd always had fantasies about men that looked like him. But that was just pretend, she chided herself, and she didn't want complications; not now. She merely wanted her pain to end . . . but she had to admit to herself that he could provide her with an escape for an evening or two. It was something that would give her a respite even for just a little while.
Her heart began beating just a little bit faster as she thought about his arms embracing her and his lips crashing down against hers. As she gazed into his dark hued eyes, they seem to reach into her soul. It gave her the distinct feeling he was trying to find something inside her. Maybe he was trying to find something that wasn't dead. He had found one thing . . .
"I guess, the question should be ‘what is it you want?'" she asked, her voice soft.
Laurissa's fair skin was like white silk against his rough fingertips. Her green eyes glittered like jewels even in the darkness. And more than the curves of her lovely, hourglass body, there was something that drew him to her like a moth to a flame. Was it possible he could be burned by her?
He pulled his hand slowly away, as if afraid to break her. "I want to know you," he said simply, not admitting the desire that had cropped up within him. It went deeper than merely wanting to know her.
"I'm not that interesting, you know. You'll be disappointed," she replied barely above a whisper.
"Let me be the judge of that," he said gently. "Try and sleep tonight. We will speak again tomorrow, after you have rested." He gazed at her for a moment more, before finally heading back inside the cabin.
As she watched him disappeared from her sight she had to wonder. "Who are you, Michael Taylor and why am I so interesting to you?"
She saw very clearly that he had them by their hands, dragging them away from her! Her children, even her oldest, who could fight back, didn't. Just like his younger sister, he just cried out for her; reaching out an arm that she couldn't touch. And though the afternoon was waning, the sun was still shining bright. Where were they, she panicked? She couldn't see where they'd been taken. It was as if they had just disappeared before her eyes. Still, she could find them. She could, she told herself, because she knew who had them! It was their father and he had dragged them away to his car.
"NO!!" she screamed as he shoved them inside.
"Back off, Laurissa! You don't have a chance in hell of stopping me now! You're never going to see them again!" Her ex-husband met her eyes with his own, tossing her an evil grin as he laughed maniacally as he got behind the wheel.
"Zachary! Adrianna!" she cried as she watched the car speed off and her children pound the windows for her, crying out for her. "NO! NO! NO!" The panic rose to a fever pitch within her. She knew what was going to happen and felt her stomach lurch. On a mother's instinct alone, she ran after the car. Then suddenly she was there. She watched in overwhelming pain as the car ploughed into a semi-truck and tumbled into the ravine, over and over . . . She was rocked by a large explosion as it hit the bottom. "NO!!!!" she screamed in an anguished voice, knowing there was no way she would see her children again. She would never hear their voices or feel their arms around her in hugs that she had lived for.
Suddenly, she felt arms encircle her as her mind left the confines of the nightmare. Tears were seeping from under her eyelids and the pain as if the loss had just happened again, coursed through her. She melted into the strong warm body beside her, just not caring who it was as she trembled, trying to hold back her pain. But a sob escaped her anyway. The pain was so strong.
Tenderly a hand caressed the back of her hair like a child.
"Shhhhh . . . It was only a nightmare," the voice said softly.
It was Michael. Sobbing softly and without moving away, she just allowed him to hold her. It had been so long since anyone had tried to comfort her after her loss. There had been no comforting words to be said. For so long there had been no one she could trust and so had accepted comfort from very few. And here was the man meant to kill her, providing her the only true comfort she'd received since the day her children had died. Slowly, her tears stopped, but she didn't move from his embrace.
"Thank you . . ." she said barely above a whisper, finally finding some semblance of her voice.
"For what?" he asked.
"For this . . ." she replied.
He found it hard to believe that no one had held her and tried to sooth her pain before now, as he was doing. But by her reaction, he knew it had to be true.
"Do you wish to speak of the nightmare?"
"It wasn't just a nightmare," she said, trembling again, but she could tell he didn't believe her as she stole a look at his face. Before lowering her eyes once more she sighed. "I was dreaming about my kids . . . and . . . and how they died . . ."
He held her a bit closer with understanding. "Try to relax," he said softly. "I'll stay until you're back asleep."
He felt her get comfortable on the bed, but continued to keep an arm around her. Instead of turning away she curled further into him. To his surprise, it was stirring feelings within him that he'd not felt in many years; things he hadn't wanted to feel. But with her, old barriers came down. Laurissa wasn't as strong as she wanted to make the world believe, and it seemed to bring out his protective streak.
It took her quite awhile, but Michael could sense her drifting back to sleep. Her breathing became deep and steady. Her body seemed to relax just a bit. Even her jaw seemed to loosen enough to stop her from gritting her teeth. He should leave her to sleep now that she seemed to be resting peacefully, but he found that he didn't want to. Her warmth in his arms and against his body felt good, so he began to rationalize his action by telling himself that she might have another nightmare and that she'd need him there beside her. His rationalizations won and he too eventually drifted to sleep; her in his arms.
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Rambling thoughts
- KittyMallory
on Jul. 14, 2009 at 5:52 PM