Alright! This is just a scene I wrote for my new novel. I really haven't been able to get it quite the way I want it, but I wanted to go ahead and share it for ideas and critique as imperfect and unfinished as it is. So here's the background:
This scene occurs in the middle of the novel. Ceri and Seth are in high school, they've been working together on a school project for about two weeks, and they are both romantically interested in eachother but haven't been able to admit it or tell eachother yet. So after getting to know eachother and becoming friends while working on the project, Seth invites her to a dance. And....here goes!
The music faded into the first notes of a classic well-known love song. There was a mix of cheers and groans from the students, and as the lights dimmed the mood in the room became thick with the nervous energy of couples pairing up, girls waiting to be asked, and boys trying to get out.
"Care to dance?" Seth asked.
Ceri smiled. "Sure", she said.
Seth took one of her hands in his and placed his other on her waist.
................something.......................(yeah there's a hole I know)
"This would make a pretty decent waltz", Seth remarked.
"What?" Ceri asked.
"Waltz. It's a dance."
"I know what the waltz is; I just had no idea you did."
At that he smiled amusedly and easily stepped into the first beat of the waltz, breaking their monotonous swaying routine and pulling Ceri gently along with him. His eyes laughed into Ceri's as he tested her with a few basic steps. Ceri followed his movements carefully but fluidly, and raised one eyebrow in challenge to his mocking gaze.
"I suppose you're right, you do know how to waltz."
Ceri smiled satisfactorily and started to nod, but wasn't able to even finish the movement before she felt herself pulled into a turn, and then another, and yet another. Ceri laughed but managed to keep her feet from tangling, and after the third turn Seth caught her, pulled her back into him and seamlessly continued with the basic steps, holding her body closer against his than before. He seemed at least somewhat impressed that she hadn't fallen over.
"So where did you learn to dance?" Seth asked, still slightly smirking.
"My dad taught me. Just while I was growing up. He used to dance with my sisters and I in the kitchen while my mom cooked dinner. I've taken a couple classes as well but nothing big." She shrugged a little and smiled up at him. "Where did you learn to dance?"
He shrugged and smiled mysteriously. Why did he keep doing that? "I've taken a few classes", he said.
Before Ceri could ask for more details, the music swelled into the chorus, and Seth led her in sweeping, dramatic movements across the dance floor. Ceri laughed as she struggled to follow his movements, but after a few awkward strides she was able to fall in with his rhythm. She couldn't deny that she was thoroughly enjoying herself.
The chorus slowed into the next verse and Ceri's cheeks grew hot as she noticed that many of the students and other couples were watching them.
Seth looked down at her and smiled a little as he saw her looking around them nervously. "They're just jealous", he whispered to her.
Seth led her into another turn and she felt herself begin to relax into the music. She closed her eyes briefly and felt the music flowing through her, felt Seth's strong hand against her back, felt their bodies sweeping across the floor in perfect harmony. Her heart felt elated and surrounded by butterflies. She looked up again at Seth. He seemed lost in the music as well. His light green eyes appeared to be looking at something only he could see, and his hand pressed harder against her back, drawing her closer to him. He caught her studying his face and his smile returned.
"You're a very good dancer", he said.
Ceri didn't answer. Her heart felt caught in her throat. Being this close to him only made her want to be closer. And something about the way he looked at her...she never knew what he was thinking. But she felt something so intense when she was with him, an electricity, that made her want to believe he was thinking and feeling the exact same things she was. For now, however, she could only guess, and she closed her eyes to savor the beautiful mix of emotion.
The music slowed to a close, and Seth carefully softened his hold on her back, letting her slide into a graceful dip. A few people clapped. He held her there as the music ended, and Ceri felt his warm breath along her neck. His lips lingered precariously close to her skin for just a few moments, finally ending with a short, playful kiss on her cheek.
The love song disappeared and cheers erupted from the students as the lights began flashing, the rhythm began pumping, and the crowd started moving. Seth pulled Ceri back onto her feet and smiled.
I LOVE Love Love It! I wish I could read the whole thing. It's brilliant!
Check out these Tasty Treats from The Stir's partners:
- peacejoylove
on Jul. 18, 2009 at 7:29 PM