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STRESS..........

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 12:22 PM
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How do you deal with stress? does it effect your flare up rate?

I notice for me my flares intensify when Im stressed, meaning worse exhaustion, rashes appear even with meds, and weakness in limbs! Ive been pretty good about not being a loony stressball........but we have had alot of changes in the last 3 months and it is taking its toll on me and my health and im begining toget concerned. I read articles on Lupus and they say the best course of treatment is to elmininate stress............DUHHHHHHHHHhhh if I could I would but really?? could a dr have actually written that?? I mean seriously like I choose to have stress? I have done some calming techniques but I have 3 kids doesnt leave much time for myself, and everyone says wake early and do yoga or something ......haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa is al I have to say to that? If I had the energy I would arrrrrrrrrrrrr this makes me so mad!! I actually want to exercise just no energy to!

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 12:22 PM
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sarasotasandi
by Member on Aug. 26, 2009 at 8:42 AM

Stress is a natural part of life, you can't get rid of it.  There is good stress and bad stress as well.  What you can do is not set yourself up to be stressed in a bad way. 

Good stress is the kind of stress that challenges you and stimulates your mind and/or body, like exercising or taking a class to further education or learn a new skill or hobby.  Bad stress is anything that makes you anxious and fretful.  I often think about how I handle situations, moving, a new job, vacations.  I tend to want to do to much, then when things get out of hand, I am stressed.  I have learned to be more relaxed in approaching major life decisions, I have learned to accept help when it is offered, and ask for help when needed.  I have learned to examine thoroughly the outcomes of things like making a major purchase so I won't be stressed over the bill later, or getting a pet.  Pets are wonderful stress reducers, but if you hate cat hair on the couch, getting a cat might cause unwanted stress.  A fish would be better.  Or if your spouse hates animals - if he/she is going to constantly criticize, nag and complain about the animal, that is bad stress. 

As for exercising and not having time - It's really about putting yourself ahead of the needs of your family.  I'm not talking about being selfish, I'm talking about deciding what you need to do to take the best care of yourself.  When you feel guilty that you are going to the gym/heading out to walk/doing a workout video, etc., think about it this way - if you DON'T take care of yourself, you will get sick.  Then who will take care of you and your family?  By making the time to do yoga or exercise, and putting that first in your day while you still have energy, you are actually doing your family a favor. 

momof3inCT
by Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:27 PM

Thanks and YES YOU ARE RIGHT I need to put myself first more! I dont know what is wrong with us women maybe it is just INSTINCTUAL to put our kids first almost to a fault where husbands usualy do the opposite then we get resentful when they get to have that time LOL

So YES one of my new years resolutions was to make more time for myself and I have but I think I need to do more! I did yoga in the past and LOVED it so I think I need to add that back in my life........maybe at night when kids go to bed or during quiet time during the day ....I will make it a goal to begin in the next 2 weeks right now I cant b/c I have so much going on with kids beginning school and thats not an excuse but im so shot right now!

OH and by the way my NEW dr put me ona non steriodal anti inflamatory meds so hopefully that will help too and allow me to not be as uncomfortable and then I can do more! :)

MrsDavid
by Member on Aug. 29, 2009 at 12:24 AM

The incredible stress my job put me under has brought on the worse flare of my life.  Unfortunately I must work.  I am currently not released to return to work, but short term disability hasn't been approved yet.  So, I sit at home, trying to not stress, while I am bringing home no money.....yeah, don't stess.  We will be bankrupt and homeless if this goes on much longer.  We have been fortunate enough to be okay through "this economy" until now.  I make a pretty decent wage when I am able to work.  So....now I wait for disability or foreclosure.  Yeah, no stress. 

Stepmothering is hard, find REAL support here: 
http://www.cafemom.com/group/30383


Are you a step mother raising your step children?  http://www.cafemom.com/group/imraisingherkid

sarasotasandi
by Member on Aug. 30, 2009 at 1:25 PM

It is impossible not to feel stress when you are facing uncertainty about jobs, money, losing your house. There is a wonderful bible passage that  says "Don't worry - who by worrying added even one day to their life?"  All your worrying does is add to the stress you already have and makes the situation worse.  Turn your focus from worrying into taking actions.  Get a pen and paper and start writing down things you CAN do, things that will help stretch your budget, things you haven't tried yet to extend time on your mortgage.  Take the one thing that is worrying you the most and think of some alternatives.  It sounds like losing your home is heavy on your heart right now.  If this is inevitable, then instead of fretting over something you can't change, start making positive plans.  Be pro-active as much as you can.  Will this take away your stress and make everything OK?  Of course not.  But you will find yourself less agitated and stressed-out if you are making plans and doing something constructive rather than just sitting around waiting for the next bad thing.

 

sarasotasandi
by Member on Aug. 30, 2009 at 1:38 PM

Don't try to do an hour of yoga when you are trying to figure out school clothes, meds, etc.  Instead, do 5 minutes before you start your day - perhaps while the coffee is brewing.  Sit the kids down to a snack and take 3 minutes to focus on your breathing, do a couple of stretches or a yoga pose.  Teach the poses and breathing to the kids.  I do the "tree pose" standing in front of the coffee maker in the morning.  I do a couple of "warrior" poses while I'm waiting for the shower to get warm.  If I'm going to sit and watch TV, before I sit down, I make myself do 3 "sun salutations" first.  After a week of fitting 5 minutes here, 2 minutes there, I feel more energized and eager to devote extra time to myself.   That makes it a lot easier for me to find even more ways to fit "me" time into my day.     

momof3inCT
by Member on Aug. 31, 2009 at 12:49 PM

well As much as I would like to put myself first right now I JUST cannot I have 2 young kids begining school and one at home to care for full time so maybe Ill take your idea and do a pose here or there and in a month begin more rigerous routine! THANKS for the suggestions!

MrsDavid
by Member on Sep. 1, 2009 at 5:17 PM

exercisetv.tv has short exercise videos for free as does OnDemand both include yoga.

As an update to my stressors:  My short term disability was approved and I have received two checks in the last 4 days! 

Stepmothering is hard, find REAL support here: 
http://www.cafemom.com/group/30383


Are you a step mother raising your step children?  http://www.cafemom.com/group/imraisingherkid

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