Remembering.....

Hi am new here  I would like to know if is normal to still cry everytime I think of my lost baby. I was 15weeks/4days when I lost my baby.When I lost my baby I felt guilty because when I found out I was pregnant I wasn't happy because I was taking blood thiners& had a 11month old daughter . So I thought it was way to  soon for another baby., When I told my husband ,he had  the same reaction.  After a few weeks I started loving my baby, Because I have   blood clots in my lungs the Dr. wanted to terminate the pregnancy I said no but my husband said yes.So they stopped the pills & gave my shots instead,but I think I losthim because of a high dose of bllod thinners.I seem to be the only one remebering that we had another baby . My other kids & my husband act like nothing happen, is this normal? my other kids ages are (21)  (15)

Quoting nonita07:

Hi am new here  I would like to know if is normal to still cry everytime I think of my lost baby. I was 15weeks/4days when I lost my baby.When I lost my baby I felt guilty because when I found out I was pregnant I wasn't happy because I was taking blood thiners& had a 11month old daughter . So I thought it was way to  soon for another baby., When I told my husband ,he had  the same reaction.  After a few weeks I started loving my baby, Because I have   blood clots in my lungs the Dr. wanted to terminate the pregnancy I said no but my husband said yes.So they stopped the pills & gave my shots instead,but I think I losthim because of a high dose of bllod thinners.I seem to be the only one remebering that we had another baby . My other kids & my husband act like nothing happen, is this normal? my other kids ages are (21)  (15)

Hello......everyone experiences grief differently.  I'd say it's normal if you still cry.  As for your other family members.....well, they didn't get to experience  a life like you did.  They wouldn't understand what you're going through.  Your husband just might not want to recall that pregnancy.  Remember, everyone grieves differently and you'll grieve more than anyone since you were the only one to experience that life you had inside you.

I can tell you it is perfectly normal to grieve and for all your years it is ok. When i fifteen i found out i was pregnant. All i can say is teens will be teens. But i was sixteen when i had my son. On march thirty first 1995 i gave birth to a baby boy (3lbs. 9 oz.) who had problems. His diaphram had a hole in it and his liver went into his chest cavity. He was born with half a lung. About ten hours later i had to make the decision to remove him from life support. He was going to be brain dead and pass no matter what i did. Me and the father broke up shortly after, and then a year and a half later i meet my husband. We were on birth control for nine years and then my doctor had a surprise for me. and then the light at the end of the rainbow. I now have a healthy boy of six months but still every year on march 31st i am at the cemetery crying my eyes out and probably will for every year for the rest of my life. And so will alot of grieving mothers and it is normal and ok. do not let anyone tell you different.

Regardless of having lost my precious son CJ 18 months ago, I feel like it was just last week. The pain of having lost him when he was just two and a half weeks old is just unbearable. I was 37 weeks pregnant, no problems in the pregnancy, awoke one morning to tremendous bleeding. There was no doctor on call at the hospital that I went to, so I had to wait for one to get there. An hour and a half later, CJ was born with almost no blood in his body, the doctor put a breathing tube in to help him breathe, and gave him numerous transfusions because he couldn't maintain his blood pressure. When he arrived at the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth, he clung to life for the next week. He had an MRI to evaluate the damage to his brain from lack of oxygen. It wasn't good. CJ would never eat, breathe, talk, or walk on his own. My husband and I didn't think that it would be fair to him to make him suffer through life that way. On October 12th, 2005 we discontinued life support. Christopher John survived 29 hours and 5 minutes without ventilation. We gave him all of the love and support that we could his short time here on earth. God must have needed a special angel, and He sure got one.....

CHRISTOPHER JOHN RODGER 
               9-26-05---10-13-05

Quoting ebsmcjr:

I can tell you it is perfectly normal to grieve and for all your years it is ok. When i fifteen i found out i was pregnant. All i can say is teens will be teens. But i was sixteen when i had my son. On march thirty first 1995 i gave birth to a baby boy (3lbs. 9 oz.) who had problems. His diaphram had a hole in it and his liver went into his chest cavity. He was born with half a lung. About ten hours later i had to make the decision to remove him from life support. He was going to be brain dead and pass no matter what i did. Me and the father broke up shortly after, and then a year and a half later i meet my husband. We were on birth control for nine years and then my doctor had a surprise for me. and then the light at the end of the rainbow. I now have a healthy boy of six months but still every year on march 31st i am at the cemetery crying my eyes out and probably will for every year for the rest of my life. And so will alot of grieving mothers and it is normal and ok. do not let anyone tell you different.

I know the feeling of emptiness when a mom loses a child.  But I at least had 15yrs with my son.  I am so sorry ya'll didn't get as much time--as short as 15 yrs is too.  You're right, grieving our losses the rest of our lives is normal. 

Quoting shanna728:

Regardless of having lost my precious son CJ 18 months ago, I feel like it was just last week. The pain of having lost him when he was just two and a half weeks old is just unbearable. I was 37 weeks pregnant, no problems in the pregnancy, awoke one morning to tremendous bleeding. There was no doctor on call at the hospital that I went to, so I had to wait for one to get there. An hour and a half later, CJ was born with almost no blood in his body, the doctor put a breathing tube in to help him breathe, and gave him numerous transfusions because he couldn't maintain his blood pressure. When he arrived at the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth, he clung to life for the next week. He had an MRI to evaluate the damage to his brain from lack of oxygen. It wasn't good. CJ would never eat, breathe, talk, or walk on his own. My husband and I didn't think that it would be fair to him to make him suffer through life that way. On October 12th, 2005 we discontinued life support. Christopher John survived 29 hours and 5 minutes without ventilation. We gave him all of the love and support that we could his short time here on earth. God must have needed a special angel, and He sure got one.....

CHRISTOPHER JOHN RODGER 
               9-26-05---10-13-05

Beautiful Baby!  it's good you have pictures. 

I believe as long as we are remembering our child we lost we keep them alive in away.  They aren't in view but they still live in our heart.  I will never forget my baby girl.  I lost my  baby girl to a rare cancer on June 17, 2004 and had to place her body to rest on June 21, 2004, which was her day, her 11th Birthday.  I miss her more and more as time goes by.  She will forever be in my heart.

Quoting Nikoleismyangel:

I believe as long as we are remembering our child we lost we keep them alive in away.  They aren't in view but they still live in our heart.  I will never forget my baby girl.  I lost my  baby girl to a rare cancer on June 17, 2004 and had to place her body to rest on June 21, 2004, which was her day, her 11th Birthday.  I miss her more and more as time goes by.  She will forever be in my heart.

What a beautiful picture!  I lost my son to cancer in 1998.  He fought a 3 1/2 battle.  kris

This is my beautiful little angel Ashley Nicole when she was born...she was born pefectly healthy, I was blessed enough to have my baby grl here with me for 7months 2weeks & 3days, when I lost her to tradgic accident..Play with angels in heaven my sweet baby!!!
This is Ashley @ 5 months with her favorite binki (sorry I couldn't align it good, just browse to the right)

when i was 18 years old i was two months pregnant i had found out my husband cheated on me then i went and stress out alot that by the time you know it i was losing my baby boy i was at the hospital they were trying to figure out if he was still was but he wasn't then i was blessed with my baby girl and i know god is took my baby boy for a reason