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life to short

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2007 at 10:11 PM
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My husband and I were eager to start a family we needed clomid to conceive we got prego and I miscarried shortly after wanting to try again I was waiting for my period to start the clomid once again but my period never came. I was pregnant and it was a shock it was with out any clomid it was naturally. I was about 16 weeks when I found out I was having a baby boy right away we chose to name him Gage Ostyn Difabrizio. at around 22 weeks I was having contractions being my first time around I was not sure what was going on it did'nt really hurt but I feelt like I needed to push. We ran to the ER and I was in labor fully dialated and still no pain. the Dr. tried to keep the baby in as long as possible two days later Gage Ostyn was born and he wasn't breathing. this perfect angel that we longed for so long did'nt even get a chance in life. My first baby, my perfect angel! he looked just like me. I barried him the following monday. Now it's been 2 1/2 months and I can't stop crying, My husband and I are eager to try as soon as we can.

by on Feb. 25, 2007 at 10:11 PM
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gracexchance
by New Member on Apr. 13, 2007 at 3:15 AM
I am so sorry for your loss.  I had a still birth at 41 weeks with my first child Josiah Brandon Thompson.  I won't go into it now but the doctor told me that greif comes in two's.  2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years.  It takes time for us to get out of the shock of the situation (2 weeks).  Then we try and pull ourselves up by the boot straps and move on and when we realize we have and you actually go 1/2 a day to a day not really thinking about your loss you feel guilty and sad all over again (2 months).  Then life passes you by and so much goes on in 2 years and you realize that life did move one and that makes you sad again.
I have a journal that I wrote in everyday, sometime 2 times a day about all of my feelings, thoughts, sadness, anger, anything that I wasn't sure how to put into words right then or not sure how someone would take it or understand.  I go back and read it from time to time.  A great book for your loss is called Silent Cradle  Help and understanding in time of pregnancy loss by Judy Gordon Morrow  The ISBN # is 0-89367-225-4 
This book helped me realize I wasn't alone but you really don't want to hear that right now.  I suggest get the book and read it when you want.  It has journal entries to do at the end of each chapter.
Be stong and let me know if I can offer you any help or just an ear. 
Sharon
kp4606
by Group Owner on Apr. 13, 2007 at 8:29 AM

My husband and I were eager to start a family we needed clomid to conceive we got prego and I miscarried shortly after wanting to try again I was waiting for my period to start the clomid once again but my period never came. I was pregnant and it was a shock it was with out any clomid it was naturally. I was about 16 weeks when I found out I was having a baby boy right away we chose to name him Gage Ostyn Difabrizio. at around 22 weeks I was having contractions being my first time around I was not sure what was going on it did'nt really hurt but I feelt like I needed to push. We ran to the ER and I was in labor fully dialated and still no pain. the Dr. tried to keep the baby in as long as possible two days later Gage Ostyn was born and he wasn't breathing. this perfect angel that we longed for so long did'nt even get a chance in life. My first baby, my perfect angel! he looked just like me. I barried him the following monday. Now it's been 2 1/2 months and I can't stop crying, My husband and I are eager to try as soon as we can.


I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's normal to cry.  Talk to your dr about it.  Try for another as soon as you can but remember, you will always feel that empty spot for your little Gage.  Having another child helps to get through each day a little easier.

Kristen

kp4606
by Group Owner on Apr. 13, 2007 at 8:35 AM

Quoting gracexchance:

I am so sorry for your loss.  I had a still birth at 41 weeks with my first child Josiah Brandon Thompson.  I won't go into it now but the doctor told me that greif comes in two's.  2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years.  It takes time for us to get out of the shock of the situation (2 weeks).  Then we try and pull ourselves up by the boot straps and move on and when we realize we have and you actually go 1/2 a day to a day not really thinking about your loss you feel guilty and sad all over again (2 months).  Then life passes you by and so much goes on in 2 years and you realize that life did move one and that makes you sad again.
I have a journal that I wrote in everyday, sometime 2 times a day about all of my feelings, thoughts, sadness, anger, anything that I wasn't sure how to put into words right then or not sure how someone would take it or understand.  I go back and read it from time to time.  A great book for your loss is called Silent Cradle  Help and understanding in time of pregnancy loss by Judy Gordon Morrow  The ISBN # is 0-89367-225-4 
This book helped me realize I wasn't alone but you really don't want to hear that right now.  I suggest get the book and read it when you want.  It has journal entries to do at the end of each chapter.
Be stong and let me know if I can offer you any help or just an ear. 
Sharon
A journal is a great idea.  What the dr said about grief, I don't know that I totally agree.  Grief is many different emotions.  It has many stages.  I lost my son almost 9 yrs ago.  I still go through days of being in shock.  And I question why I can still go through each day.  I get mad about losing him, sad, confused.....There is no specific way anyone grieves.  I'm very sorry for your loss.  I really can't imagine losing a baby at full term.  I consider myself extremely lucky I got to spend yrs with my son.  I wish you had the same chance. 
kristen
gracexchance
by New Member on Apr. 13, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Kristen
I do agree with you that greif comes in so many forms, so many levels and so many time frames.  How I took what the Dr told me is that there are stages sometimes they come in weeks, months and even years.  Wether it be 2w2m2y or even 4w4m4y or is not consistant, those stages will still come. 
I will post my story on a different post.  This is "hopefull"s area.
The journal was great, I actually still write in it from time to time.  Usually a lot less often now.  There is sometimes even a few years go by.  At first that made me sad but I realize I don't forget about Josiah and not to feel guilty about not writing.
Have your husband write in it also.  Write to eachother about your sadness.  So many times tragedy like this can seperate people who love eachother so much because they handle greif differently.  I didn't have a husband so I was able to focus on just me for the most part.  Long story
Cling to eachother and don't feel bad about any of your emotions.  They will be so varied even at one moment.  Acknowledge those feelings no matter what they are.
I also set little goals for myself   I had to be up and showered and ready for the day by 9 am.  I didn't have to go anywhere but I had to be ready, showered, hair, makeup, teeth, dressed and something to eat.  Made me feel stupid at times but it got me out of bed even when I didn't want to.  Also, I had to get out of the house and into the fresh air once a day I had to walk at least 1 block ( where I lived that was about 8 houses).
Try any thing no matter how stupid it may feel at the time.  you may find comfort in anything.
sharon
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