The convicted abuser asked to remain anonymous. He is in his mid 50's and works regular hours as a publisher. He has a family, children and grandchildren of his own.
He spent two years in prison after emailing child pornography to an undercover federal agent posing as a young girl. "My first victim was when I was 10, an eight-year-old child...I have 15 hands on victims.
His victims, all girls, range in age from 7 to 15-years-old. He knew them all. Some were family members. Others were children of friends. "I was the guy next door. I was trusted.
He says he would spend months, even years grooming his victims before abusing them.
"Making physical contact, you know. Touching the shoulder of the child and seeing how they react. Then if they seemed comfortable with that, you might go further.
The convicted offender says he was also abused as a child by an older cousin. He has been in counseling for more than four years and will continue therapy for the rest of his life.
"It's not a disease. It's not a sickness. There is no cure. The most important thing is the safety of children and so I do have rules. I will never be alone with my own grandchildren.
He also has some tips for parents to help protect their kids from abusers. "I think you've got to look very closely at sleep over for children 12 and under cause a lot of sex offenses, it's not somebody grabbing somebody in a park or off the street. It's a friend or a relative.
Parents need to talk openly with their children. You should educate your kids about predators and be specific. "I think you use the proper terms for anatomy so if they are ever experiencing something inappropriate, they are able to communicate that to you.
The long time abuser says a child who knows inappropriate behavior can scare away an abuser. "For the majority of sex offenders, a child with awareness who is obviously put off by a person's approach, it's going to do a lot to stop them.
The convicted offender says he has dozens of other victims that he never physically touched. He found them in Internet chat rooms.
He encourages parents to closely monitor who their kids are communicating with on the web. "Online, you might know...you might be in a sexual conversation within 15 minutes, 10 minutes because, I'm going onto chat room like 'little girls looking for daddies.
He says he's met hundreds of child predators during his time in therapy and they all come from a variety of backgrounds.
"You can't name a profession that was not represented. Higher than average intelligence, higher than average education and income. There was people who worked for major national television news organizations, as well as doctors and dentists.
Nearly 150 registered sex offenders live in Knox County and there are more than 4,300 state wide.
Experts say that in 90 percent of sexual assaults, the child knows their offender. And almost half the time, the abuser is a family member.
One in five children have been propositioned for sex on the Internet. Studies show that you need to listen to your kids. Children rarely make up stories of abuse.
I was molested, starting around the time I was 12 or 13. I honestly don't remember which. I was "messed with" by my then-brother-in-law until I was about 15. I never even realized anything was wrong. I knew he shouldn't be touching me and I never willingly participated in any act. But I thought I was "all grown up." I didn't think the man was a pediphile b/c I didn't see myself as a child, but I realize now that I was. He did "condition" me by spending "quality time" with me (taking me hunting and fishing, filling the "daddy gap") and in the beginnig, it did just start with a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, etc. It's great that that guy is trying to make up for what he did, but child preditors screw up their victims' lives for years and years. I still deal with the self esteem issues caused by the lessons that man tought me about my self-worth. I have since had all kinds of problems including being in an abusive marriage. I finally got a divorce and have recently pressed charges on my sister's exhusband. I'm still waiting for the case to go before the grand jury for indictment. Some things you just can't make up for. May he rot in hell.
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Angela
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- trish2884
on Jul. 7, 2008 at 3:58 PM