Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Un-fit Mother! *UGH*

Posted by on Aug. 24, 2008 at 9:40 PM
  • 12 Replies
  • 513 Total Views

Ok, sorry, but I just have to vent about this...

We have these neighbors, and they are both in their 30's, living with her boyfriend's parents. Neither one of them have a job, she has 2 kids that live with their dad (that says alot right there!) and they are always mooching off of people, including us! Oh, and her boyfriend is an alcoholic, and both are trailor trash! She also used to be a stripper, "to support her children!" Well, they are constantly asking us for favors: $20, a ride to the store...they don't even have a car! Anyways...tonight she calls Travis asking if he could give her a ride to Pembroke, where she is supposed to be living, and she had to be their in a matter of 30 minutes or she will lose her kids! The nerve of her! She is a GROWN woman, we are NOT her taxi-cab, and that is HER responsibility! I don't know the whole story, but from what I know of her, she is an un-fit mother! People like that don't even deserve kids! It makes me sick! And Travis agreed to it, because he didn't wanna be mean! I swear, he needs to learn how to say NO! I know he is just trying to help, but you have to draw the line somewhere! To make matters worse, we are BROKE this week! *UGH* What do you think about this situation?

by on Aug. 24, 2008 at 9:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
fun_nice_1
by on Aug. 24, 2008 at 9:43 PM
You shouldn't be paying for gas for things like that when things are tight. I would put my foot down with dh and say "no more"!!!
ALiLBabyPHAT18
by Group Owner on Aug. 25, 2008 at 11:59 AM

Yeah, I know! I've tried to explain that to him, but he is hard headed & stubborn! I know he means well, but it is affecting us, because especially the way gas prices are now-a-days, he couldn't afford to help her out yesterday & it is NOT his responsibility in the first place! Sometimes he is just too nice & people take advantage of him! (NEW default picture, everyone!)

doodles181
by on Aug. 25, 2008 at 12:26 PM

Maybe you can tell them they have to give you gas money if they need a ride.  That might stop them from always asking, especially if they do not work and have no money. And then you would be telling them the truth without being really mean.

Jennifer

ALiLBabyPHAT18
by Group Owner on Aug. 25, 2008 at 3:57 PM

Yeah, we usually do, but yesterday it was spur of the moment, and she was in a frenzie, so Trav said he "couldn't say no"...she is supposedly broke, and "had no other way to go", and "didn't want to lose her kids". But I personally think she doesn't deserve them in the first place! Sorry, but she is a POS mother, she's trashy & obviously irresponsible!

MaryJane849
by Member on Aug. 26, 2008 at 9:15 AM

It is really a shame that people can not see their children as the most important thing in this world.

Karen
NathansMom03
by on Aug. 26, 2008 at 11:57 AM

I always asked for gas money up front and what do you know everybody stopped asking me for a ride! Just tell them that you don't have any gas in your car, and if they want to go somewhere they will HAVE to give gas money up front! Or you could just not answer the phone when they call. Hope it gets better for you and I agree she shouldn't have those kids anyway!

ALiLBabyPHAT18
by Group Owner on Aug. 26, 2008 at 12:54 PM


 

Quote:

I always asked for gas money up front and what do you know everybody stopped asking me for a ride! Just tell them that you don't have any gas in your car, and if they want to go somewhere they will HAVE to give gas money up front! Or you could just not answer the phone when they call. Hope it gets better for you and I agree she shouldn't have those kids anyway!


Yeah, I think we will do that from now on. They will just have to understand that we have responsibilities, priorities & a family to support, and we can't just go around giving people "free rides".  And maybe, like you said, they will eventually just quit asking us for favors all together! lol...thank you for the advice! I hope she loses all of her rights to those kids, because she doesn't deserve them & they don't deserve her, either!

Stuffed_Back_In
by on Aug. 26, 2008 at 6:45 PM


Quoting ALiLBabyPHAT18:

 I hope she loses all of her rights to those kids, because she doesn't deserve them & they don't deserve her, either!


I am sorry.  Normally I can agree with what I read here but not in this case, not with the info. 

What has she done not to deserve them.  Borrow money.  Ask for rides.  Makes her a crappy neighbor.  Stop giving her money and rides.  Maybe she will go away.  Most people will not stay where they are not welcome.  But I wouldn't say that makes her undeserving.

Use to be a stripper and lives in a trailor.  I wouldn't consider neither to be grounds for not deserving her children.  I grew up poor.  My mom couldn't really afford for us to live anywhere but a trailor, I wouldn't say our living arrangements made her a bad mom. 

Being a stripper doesn't necessarily make someone a bad mother either.  I am sorry if my opinion doesn't mirror everyone elses but my job as well as my volunteer work has required me to interview these women, as well as others I know people would automatically label as bad people.  But, they are women, some are single, some are married, some are divorced. some have kids, some don't.  Once you get to know them, a good part are not bad people. 

Father having them.  That is easy.  I heard that more than once.  If he works at Kinko's and she works at Kinky's some judges will automatically state she has an "unsuitable living" and grant custody to the father.  Which isironic since the father in most cases supported her career while together.  They lived for the weekends and spoke with pride about their children.   But, this was a contributing factor for them getting out of that line of work. 

I can't say that a mother doesn't deserve her children just because she lives in a trailor, is a or use to be a stripper, doesn't own a car and ask for money (that she doesn't pay back ???)

What would you say makes her undeserving.  Does she not go see her kids on the weekends, forgets thier birthdays, lets them run wild when she does have them, gets drunk and passes out in front of them, do drugs, beat them, lock them in the closet, call them names, cockroaches everywhere, not feed them?

It is just saying that someone doesn't deserve thier children cause they use to be a stripper, lives in a trailer and is a bad neighbor seems a little harsh.

preview image   preview image


littleboy.gif   

ALiLBabyPHAT18
by Group Owner on Aug. 28, 2008 at 11:22 AM

Not trying to argue or anything, but my husband started by befriending her boyfriend, and that's how I've come to KNOW her! They both used to come over, and I have met her (I think) 7 year old son, & he is SO cute, but she cusses him out (calls him a pussy, bitch, repeats the f-word constantly), slaps him in the face and lets her boyfriend treat him like pure s*it! And they did all of this in front of us! I ALMOST said something, but I had a friend over as well, so we just got in the car with our babies & went for a ride...plus, I don't know what they are capable of! You would have to be around her, know how she acts & what kind of person she is to make a judgment on whether she deserves her kids or not! And her daughter is (I think) 10, and she has literally bragged to me about some of the horrible things her daughter says & does...like, for instance, her daughter goes around flashing boys, says she wants to be a stripper one day & even talks about making out with boys already! Both her kids cuss, have very poor hygeiene & look either undernourished and/or abused! But since she only gets her children once in a blue moon, I can't report her to DFACS, especially since the father is the one who has custody, and I don't know anything about him, except for one time he gave her a black eye! I'm sorry, but she is NOT a good role model & women like that do NOT deserve children! I could go on & on about him, her & her kids...

Stuffed_Back_In
by on Aug. 28, 2008 at 7:15 PM


Quoting ALiLBabyPHAT18:

Not trying to argue or anything, but my husband started by befriending her boyfriend, and that's how I've come to KNOW her! They both used to come over, and I have met her (I think) 7 year old son, & he is SO cute, but she cusses him out (calls him a pussy, bitch, repeats the f-word constantly), slaps him in the face and lets her boyfriend treat him like pure s*it! And they did all of this in front of us! I ALMOST said something, but I had a friend over as well, so we just got in the car with our babies & went for a ride...plus, I don't know what they are capable of! You would have to be around her, know how she acts & what kind of person she is to make a judgment on whether she deserves her kids or not! And her daughter is (I think) 10, and she has literally bragged to me about some of the horrible things her daughter says & does...like, for instance, her daughter goes around flashing boys, says she wants to be a stripper one day & even talks about making out with boys already! Both her kids cuss, have very poor hygeiene & look either undernourished and/or abused! But since she only gets her children once in a blue moon, I can't report her to DFACS, especially since the father is the one who has custody, and I don't know anything about him, except for one time he gave her a black eye! I'm sorry, but she is NOT a good role model & women like that do NOT deserve children! I could go on & on about him, her & her kids...

Yep, that's trash !!!

The only thing I was reading before was that she was a bad neighbor who lives in a trailor and use to be a stripper.

None of that made me think she was undeserving of being a mother.

I guess I got a little defensive because I use to know people that were in that line of work and they had to deal with drama from parents at the PTA meetings if/when the other parents found out.  They often took it out on the children as well.  Assuming they were stripping at home too, I guess.  Lot of sterotypes.  Hurt my feelings a bit, thinking you were going after her just because she use to be a stripper.  I never judged any of those mothers who did what they had to do to bring money to the table,....as long they treated thier children well and gave them a stable/healthy/safe enviroment.   That is why I ask more questions, to see exactly what you meant.

Sounds like the children are just acting out, for attention and repeating what they see/hear.  So you are right.  They need more stability.  She probably shouldn't be allowed unsupervised visits but who is to say the father is much better.

Scared for the kids.  Unless they have a good head on thier shoulders they are just going to repeat thier parents life.


 

preview image   preview image


littleboy.gif   

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN