looking for help with my two boys who are 19 months apart.

Wow, I can totally relate.  You are not alone.  My first two are twenty months apart and the rest are each apx. 2 -2 1/2 years apart.  I too feel as if I spend my days refereeing the boys.  It is tiring and frustrating.  My DH and I work opposite shifts so we are "single parents" all week long, but it keeps us from having to pay a sitter for 5 kids.

The boys fight a lot.  I have found they spend a lot of  times in the corner (1 min per age)  sometimes several times during the day - even my 2 year old who hits, throws things and bites. If consistent it does help. But there are days when I wonder what I am doing wrong.  I teach 25 kids each day  with very few discipline issues yet at home it is sometimes a total free for all.

When my children started preschool, we began helping them each develop their own individual circle of friends. They do share some friends too.  This has been a great blessing, in allowing them to function as individuals and not just as one of "the Heasley boys", as they are frequently called.

But what I really wanted to say to you is - hang in there.  It does get better.  My two oldest (9 & 7) rarely fight now and it used to constant.  We can go to restaurants without leaving early to avoid embarrassment. I can take them to the store and to other public events.  It is still exhausting, but I am no longer frightened of their behavior.

I think the close spacing does make it more difficult when the boys are little, but as they get older you will be thankful they have each other. My boys stand up for each other and keep an eye out for each other.  They haven't yet started scheming together. I can be thankful for that.

You are definitely not alone!  I have 2 boys (23mths apart), who are almost 2 and 4 yrs old and they are constantly fighting over toys, attention, you name it.  It usually seems to be instigated by the older one as well.  I think he gets frustrated because his younger brother always wants to do what he is doing - since he thinks his older brother is the best thing since sliced bread.  I figure it is really hard now but when they are older, they will be good "friends but just have to deal until that time comes.    Hopefully, in 3 yrs??

My boys are 18 months apart. They bickered constantlywhen they were 3 & 4! If one  was even bored he would hit the other or take a toy away for the little one to  cry. It's just a phase but I do notice it more cuz I have other gfriends w/ girls and I feel like an outcast compared to them. The boys are now 5 1/2 and 7 and def a hot/cold relationship. they do bicker less, BUT they are more physical now. They like to play rough and tease. Boys seem to be a bundle of nerves and energy wnd they are each other's "punching bags."

My boys are both currently 4 at the moment. My oldest will turn 5 in 11 days. They are 10 months and 18 days apart exactly. Trust me not planned. But I went through this with them as well. They would just knock eachother down and fight over the toys or tv or just anything in general, its normal. I too felt like I could only enjoy them when they were seperated, but  They are very close now and hardly fight. They won't go anywhere without the other one and its soo sweet. They still have their moments. Just the other day Brayden my youngest wanted eggs,I asked him to hold on a second and he started whinning. Brancen said "Mommy will u just make his eggs so he won't cry" and next thing I know Brayden is on top of Brancen screaming "they are my eggs, don't talk about my eggs" and scratched his face. It looked like he was trying to rip his little eye out. The constant fighting will pass, just sit tight.