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Why should I let this continue to be such a struggle?

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM
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I am the mother of the wonderful kids. I'm 31, and after the birth of my third child when I was 29, I decided that I didn't want any more kids, especially since I was about to turn 30. So hubby went and got snipped after I scheduled his appointment. He was very all right with doing it. He thought he wouldn't want anymore kids either. But, nearly 2 years after the procedure, we're both regreting it.

But the thing is that I can't think of a good reason to go and have a the vasectomy reversed. I mean, we really do have wonderful kids. And there are some people who can't even have one! And will this baby want go away after just one more kid? We want another girl (my middle child is out only girl), but there is no guarantee that if we had another child, it would be a girl. What if the only thing I'm really missing being pregnant, and having a new baby to breast feed? I am in the process of weaning my 2 year old ds, and I'm very sad that part of our relationship is coming to an end.

If I got my tubes tied, would this craving go away? I spend every month hoping my period doesn't appear, then I want to scream and cry when it does.

I don't know. Any advise you guys could give me would be appreciated.
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM
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Replies (1-4):
carriec1982
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Getting your tubes tied will not stop the want. I also am 31 I had my tubes tied while I was in a not so great position. This year was 8 years since I had them done and my dh and I came up with the money to have them untied. He has no kids and I have 2 boys. It is so much easier and less expensive for you to just have a vasectomy reversal rather than a tubal reversal. We have suffered a miscarriage since having our reversal in April. But it also lets me know my surgery was a success. I wish you lots of luck in your decision making. I would rather say I tried to fulfill my life while I was young enough to do it rather than regret not having that last baby or two.... gl girl!
kourtneya
by Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 11:09 AM
My dh got a vasectomy in 04. We have wanted another baby for 2 years now. So far the want hasn't gone away for either of us.
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Buffly
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 11:18 AM

I guess what I really want to know is WHY do I want another baby. And why should I have one? Should I have a baby just because I want one? I already have three. Why isn't that good enough for me? Do I want one because I'm bored? Because I don't feel like I'm of use if I'm not breastfeeding? If I have another baby, will I want to stop there? Or, will I just continues wanting more and more children? Am I being selfish for wanting more?

Please understand that what I'm saying here doesn't apply to anyone but me. I know that everyone has their own reasons for wanting more children, and you all have the right to want more, and have more. I'm not trying to use this to judge anyone because it's not my business. Besides, more babies are always great! I love babies! I'm just trying to decide what's right for me.

kourtneya
by Member on Jun. 21, 2013 at 2:49 PM

I have asked myself the same questions. I have concluded for myself that: 

1. There is no reasons that I can think of to NOT have another baby. It is something that both myself and my dh want. Plus, our 2 kiddos want a sibling.

2. I have sacrificed enough to be able to say this is what I want. And I want to go for it.

3. I have been saving up, I quit smoking, I started exercising and eating right. Now is the time for me to do it. 

4. all in all, you have to set yourself down and really delve deep into yourself. That is the only way I know of to really know for sure if it is something you really want, or if you only want it because you can't have it. 

Good luck sweetie :)

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