Love Dare - Day 6 - Love is not Irritable

Hi everyone,

I am back and I apologize for taking so long to get back into these dares.  But I'll start posting these again now - one each week. 

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Love Dare - Day 6 - Love is not Irritable

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.  ~ Proverbs 16:32

The opening lines of today's dare in the book are "Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive."  Makes you think - would my name be "Love" based on that description.  Can I honestly say "I am hard to offend and quick to forgive", especially in the context of my spouse?

Another quote from the book regarding  today's dare really made me stop and think - "When under pressure, love doesn't turn sour.  Minor problems don't yield major reactions.  The truth is, love does not get angry or hurt unless there is legitimate and just reason in the sight of God."

Know what stood out for me on that one?  Not the "legitimate and just reason".  It was the "in the sight of God" part that really hit deep.  My anger should not be based on what I think is just and right, but on what God thinks is just and right.

So the question is why are we so irritable?  There are two big contributors to this for most people.

First is stress.  What a shocker, huh!  Stress wears us down physically, emotionally and spiritually.  And unfortunately we are the main culprit for inflicting this on ourselves many times.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint - but we so often forget this.  I can't even count the number of times I just keeping running and doing until my body literally shuts down and refuses to work until I take a day to rest. 

God told us that we should take a day of rest every week - there is a reason for this.  He was not just making a suggestion because He thought it might be fun.  He knows that we need to rest and be refreshed. 

What causes stress in your life?  Here are some scriptures to help you:

• Relationships:  let love guide your relationships so you aren't caught up in unnecessary arguments (Colossians 3:12-14)
• Anxiety:  pray through your anxieties instead of trying to tackle them yourself in your own power (Phillipians 4:6-7)
• Overwork:  delegate when you are overworked, don't buy into the lie of this world that we can be "supermoms" and need to do everything ourselves to be found worthy (Exodus 18:17-23)
• Overindulgence:  avoid this whether it be in work or play (Proverbs 25:16)

The second major cause of irritability is selfishness.  Yep, there is that word again - it keeps popping up as being a roadblock to true love.  Many times our irritation stems from a heart issue.

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  (Matthew 12:34)

What pours out of you when you are squeezed?

Selfishness takes on many different faces (sometimes more than one)

• Lust - when your heart is lustful and you burn with jealousy for something you don't possess, rather than learning to be content and thankful for what you have, selfishness takes an upper hand.  A lustful heart is easily angered and frustrated (James 4:1-3)
• Bitterness - being judgmental and refusing to work through your anger results in bitterness.  This anger is always lurking beneath the surface just waiting for a reason to rear its ugly head.  (Ephesians 4:31)
• Greed - striving to always have more, whether it be money, possessions, power or anything else will leave you frustrated as you are never able to fulfill your desires.  The result is you are easy to anger and lash out at others in response to your unfulfilled desires.  (1 Timothy 6:9-10)
• Pride - the need to protect your ego and reputation will cause you to lash out at anything that you perceive as a threat to how others view you.  This one is very stealthy and subtle at times.  It sneaks up on us and consumes us unawares.

All of these things are because in our heart we are focused on ourselves.  Allowing the love of God to fill our hearts will calm us, defeating the things listed above and taking the focus off of ourselves.  It allows us to forgive and to let offenses roll off of us without any effect.  Look at Jesus.  Study how he reacted to insults and others misunderstanding him and his purposes.  Ask him to fill your heart with his love and to push out these other things that poison our hearts and therefore our minds, our words and our lives.

Today's Dare:

Choose today to react to though circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. 

Journal:

Make a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule.  Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.  When have you recently overreacted?  What was your real motivation behind it?  What decisions have you made today?