“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” Proverbs 31:23
“...admonish young women to love their husbands” Titus 2:4
First things first, if you are not in the Word, learning daily. If you are not in prayer, praying without ceasing....if you are not taking care of yourself spiritually, you need to focus on these things, the things of the Lord or none of the rest will come easily.
By definition, encouragement is the expression of approval and support , the act of giving hope or support to someone. Make a decision to encourage your husband and watch your marriage flourish!
Not sure where to start?
Here are some ideas:
- Support your husband. Let him know you stand behind him and support his decisions.
- Praise him. “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so” Proverbs 3:27. Notice all the good he does and remark on them. Search for even the smallest thing and praise him for it. Don't criticize. Find “something” no matter how small.
- Encourage him. “A good word makes the heart glad” Proverbs 12:25. Tell your husband how much you appreciate things that he does each day.
- Pray (every day) for him. It is impossible to hate or harbor ill will towards someone you're praying for and it will bring you closer.
- Respect him. ”... the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) Show your husband the respect God commands and he deserves.
- Spoil him. Do something nice for him. If you know he likes coffee in the morning, then make it your job to bring it to him. Does he like fresh baked bread or cookies? Bake them for him. Do something, every day to show him you love him.
- Welcome him. In all ways, welcome (receive with pleasure and hospitality) him into your life
- Nurture him. Never fail to think about him and/or his desires. Busy lives can make it hard to think of doing even more than you do already but, sisters, this is important!
- Love him. Make a choice to love him with a large heart. Look at him in love. It's more than just emotion. Love is action. Love him before the children....always put him first. The children grow up and move away, then all you have left is each other.
- Ask your husband. Yes... for permission. If others see you taking your husband into consideration then they'll see a little bit of God. Imagine how your husband will feel when you “ask” him, take his opinion into consideration and defer to his judgement! “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. “ Ephesians 5:22-34 (NIV)
- Put him first. After God, your husband is your primary concern. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
- Little things matter. You have the power, through the encouragement of your husband, to make or break him. If you are doing [the above things] then your husband will have the confidence to be a successful leader, a man people look up to, etc. and God will bless your marriage.
However, if you're always putting him down, questioning his authority, belittling him to others, he will be a failure, he will lose confidence, he'll stop being “the man”.
- Read daily what the Bible says about marriage. Find a mentor. Look for Biblically based sites on the web. Do your homework. Stay away from the world view of marriage. The Bible says to follow your husband, to submit to him. The world today with its feminist movement would shudder at the thought. But we know that God knows all, knows best and created marriage for a purpose.
Your role as help meet and encourager is of vital importance to your marriage and your role in marriage is clearly defined in the Bible.
“Honoring God gives a woman power to change her man.” Debi Pearl
“A wife's esteem and admiration for her husband should always be on display, on parade, so that no one can miss it.” Elizabeth George