Submissive and Surrendered Wives
/ What is a Submissive and Surrendered Wife
Join CafeMom Today (It's free and easy!) Already a member?
Are you wondering why in the world would someone want to be a submissive/surrendered wife?
I think a lot of people, when they first hear about a "submissive/surrendered wife"...they ONLY think about what the wife does for their husband. They assume she has no life, no friends, no personality, no thoughts of her own, and so on and so forth.
This post is to set the record straight! We are here to break the myth...and to let everyone know that it is not about what we do, but about what we get in return!
![]()

Please visit...
Submissive and Surrendered Wives
come join us for our 30-Day Challenge!
Why settle for OK, when WOW is just an attitude away!
and my blog...
Nurturing Hearts, Heads, & Hands
Hi my name is Katheryne and I am a surrendered wife. It has really changed my marriage. My husband is a wonderful man and always has been. We have always done everything 50/50 and we still do but I dont nag any more and I dont pick at everything. The book really helped me understand better and I have a hard time sometimes watching what critical things I say but I now make a daily commitment to be more positive and I definitely have a much happier home :)
A year ago I thought that surrendered wives were doormats and stupid. I would NEVER be one. EVER. Yeah well when my marriage consisted of fighting all the time, and was about over a friend recommended I read Dr Lauras 'The proper caring and feeding of husbands' (I think I got the title right). I also had "the surrendered wife' recommended to me. I didnt think I'd like them, but decided what would it hurt to read them? WOW! it opened my eyes! I reliezed I nagged a bit too much, and was controlling with out reliezing it. I started implementing changes that I read in the books, and wow what a change. My husband rushes home to be with me now, we rarely argue, and life is so much better. NO I am NOT a doormat. I take care of him, and in turn he takes care of me and does things for me without me asking. I get flowers all the time when before I got them every 5 years or so. He respects me more and I never thought things would turn around like this. THanks to Mommaneedscoffee too, this groups is my support line, so that I do not turn back to my controlling ways. And controlling meaning if he actually helped with the dishes I wouldnt just be like 'thank u honey, I appreciate all ur help' i would be like 'u didnt put them in the dishwasher right, and I would fix them to how I wanted them' well no wonder he wouldnt help anymore. He wasnt being respected or appreaciated. I am so happy I gave the books and this a chance it has changed everything. Im treated more like a princess now.
I'm new to surrendering, but just this little time is changing my marriage, My husband is loving being respected and not picked at like I use too. In return, there's nothing I can't have. He does all the hard work around the house ex, yard work, cleaning garage, painting, etc.. He use to complain and I'd have to nag, nag , nag or I'd just do it. Now since he looks at me as a softer, more feminine woman, he actually asks what do I need done. He now doesn't want me to work anymore. I only went to work to help out during these hard times, but now he's wanting me back home more than ever saying that as his wife I shouldn't have to work. He'll take care of the finances. He wants me to use my time taking care of our home, our children, and finding a hobby during the day that I enjoy. This is a far cry from what we use to be like. We were always arguing, but now he's very protective of me and my happiness. I treat him like a king and in return I'm his queen! I would recommend that you try it, if it's not for you just quit, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Quoting vvjones:
I'm new to surrendering, but just this little time is changing my marriage, My husband is loving being respected and not picked at like I use too. In return, there's nothing I can't have. He does all the hard work around the house ex, yard work, cleaning garage, painting, etc.. He use to complain and I'd have to nag, nag , nag or I'd just do it. Now since he looks at me as a softer, more feminine woman, he actually asks what do I need done. He now doesn't want me to work anymore. I only went to work to help out during these hard times, but now he's wanting me back home more than ever saying that as his wife I shouldn't have to work. He'll take care of the finances. He wants me to use my time taking care of our home, our children, and finding a hobby during the day that I enjoy. This is a far cry from what we use to be like. We were always arguing, but now he's very protective of me and my happiness. I treat him like a king and in return I'm his queen! I would recommend that you try it, if it's not for you just quit, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Thats great hun! Isnt life so much easier and happier now?
I have been a surrendered wife since the beginning of my relationship with DH. After nearly 5 years, I still mess it up from time to time. Especially at first, I was afraid that I would lose something of myself. But I have gained so much. I feel better about myself and more confident than I ever did in the past. Yes I do dishes, clean house, etc but I am treated like a queen. DH comes home every day after work, he doesn't go "hanging with the guys" until all hours. We enjoy being together like I have never enjoyed time with anyone before. I am surrendered but I am also more respected and more doted on than I have ever been before. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

I am new to surrendering. I have been doing it for about two months and I have seen only positive things come from it. I am a working mom with a commute and two young children. I used to nag, complain, and scream to get help, get things done. I used to suggest what I thought should happen and take complete control. It was definitely a burden.
Since reading a few books on the subject and working on the principles of surrendering, I have only seen great things! My husband and I rarely ever fight. I allow him to make decisions in the house and I don't have that burden. I say that I want help and he helps with no issue! We are deeply connected now and I love doing things for him, showing him how much I appreciate him and the more I am grateful and loving, the more he does for me.
It has been an amazing transformation and I am so grateful I have stumbled upon it all!


i have always thought of it like this.....
a marriage is a team. now with any team......both people can not be the chief, or it gets muddied and people argue.
im not saying the wife is a doormat...no no no.....a strong woman with her own thoughts....but she recognizes the selflessness and humble qualities one has when they devote themself to their family.
i personally could never be with a man who was submissive and girly....i like my men to be MEN. which is why i married an alpha male :-P
can i be self sufficient? yes, when he was overseas for a year me and the baby were fine....but its not about what i can do, its about what makes our family happy the most....and i honestyl believe women are better are being home makers than men.
i am not submissive because im forced to be...or because im a mindless robot...im submissive because with this dynamic, my family is happy...my husband comes homoe and can relax and know his house is a sanctuary. my daughter is happy and balanced. and i find pleasure in taking care of my own. and i know damn well no one else could take care of them like i do
Oh yeah...I love my Alpha-Type too :) He's a wonderful leader at work and a wonderful leader at home. I couldn't be more proud. I'm pretty outgoing, very dreamy and extremely emotional. Surrendering helps remind me to be the very best I can be every day. I don't always succeed but having a group to support me is so important. I know that there are REAL Ladies who understand and have the same goals I do :) I enjoy sharing my experience with them as well <3
My husband positively adores and spoils me! He loves me to no end and would do anything for me. He is my provider and my protector! If anyone thinks I am doing without they are GREATLY mistaken. I don't make our major decisions, but when he makes them, best believe he has my interests in mind! I am not being ordered around in any way.
I used to think things were broken that were not broken. I'd try to get him to "communicate more" and all sorts of other things that really weren't helping. He's a man, he's built and thinks differently! I have totally changed my approach in speaking with him and it's made a world of difference. When I find myself slipping and NOT following the teachings of The Surrendered Wife it never goes well! When I am on track things couldn't be better.
My husband deserves my respect, my adoration, and to be treated like the strong, capable person that he is. He does not need a mommy figure nagging him and trying to improve him or any other nonsense. The more I respect him the more he earns it by living up to my high expectations. When I start to slip and say or do things that are not submissive in nature it's almost an instant change in his attitude, believe me!!!
Amber, a very artsy, craftsy kinda homemaker! Always busy with something new! Check out my blogs to follow my journey and get great tips on everything from green cleaning to budgeting to craft ideas! My Enthusiastic Housewife Blog!
My Staying Crafty Blog!
Only CafeMom members can reply to this post.
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups: