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How could God Do This to Me?

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 3:01 AM
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Everyday, I lay awake i my bed, trying to keep as quiet as possible, so I dont wake my husband. I sob so deeply, because I cant believe, I dont understand , why God would do this to me, why would he allow my two babies to die.? What did I do so wrong, that he would punish me like this? What happend to his grace, oh I feel like dieing, I havent felt such a deep pain before, and the emptiness just doesnt go away.

by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 3:01 AM
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by Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:51 PM
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i'm so sorry for your loss. i know what you are going through. i lost my little girl when i was 6 months pregnant with her. Please do not think this is your fault. you did not do anything wrong. God has his reasons for everything and he never gives us more than we can handle. I suggest that you try to talk to your husband about your feelings. I'm sure he feels the pain too in his own way. Feel free to message me if you need to talk more or even just vent about it. also i would suggest talking to God like you would to a friend, tell him how you feel and ask for his help. it takes time but it will get easier.

by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Hi khani, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby last year and another one a month ago, so I truly understand your pain and anger. I still cry somedays and seeing babies makes me emotional still, But God makes me stronger everyday. For every disappointment is an appointment with God. His word say 'blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted'Matthew 5vs4.
I know the pain is sometimes truly unbearable and many times our husband never seem to understand, but trust God and NO you not being punished,its trials like this that make you stronger so one day you will be a comfort to women who also lost their babies. Hang in there your 2babies are angels now always watching over you.
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by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 11:56 AM

khani, You didn't do anything wrong. Miscarriages aren't easy to understand. Sometimes a woman's body just refuses to keep the baby. God isn't angry with you, Yes He did allow you to have a miscarriage, but He's not mad at you. Crying is a good way to get your feelings out,but don't be quiet about it. Let your husband know how upset you are. Let him help you get through this diffult time.

I can remember crying SO many times after my miscarriages. I also asked "Why me God" . I did a lot of praying and crying. You will heal from the emotional hurt. I know your asking God "Why Me" , but if you keep praying and lean on God He will eventually answer you.  If your interested I actually wrote about my miscarriages. Maybe your going through exactly what I went through.


by New Member on May. 3, 2012 at 1:51 AM

You didn't do anything wrong at all Khani. I know the pain that you are going through as I have been through four miscarriages myself. I am still in the grieving process from one that I had three months ago tomorrow. It is hard when you go through a miscarriage. I will be praying for you hun

by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 3:39 PM
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 I am so very sorry for your loss.  I've done the very same thing you described... sobbed quietly so as to not upset DH. 

I don't understand why things happen.  I fully believe that sin is the greatest part.  While difficult, I have to tell myself that God didn't MAKE us lose our two babies.  He ALLOWED it to happen.  That allowance, like I said, is a result of sin.  I don't believe it is MY sin; I am washed by the blood of Jesus.  I am His child.  The sin of humanity, however, causes all sorts of grief. 

I daily struggle with, "Well, God, Jon and I love each other.  We are committed until death.  We would be good parents!  Why are you letting all these people who don't deserve them have children?".  I don't have a clear answer on that, and I'm really stuggling spiritually right now. 

My heart goes out to you.  If you are interested, read this blog:  It's by a lady who also lost two little ones.  She doesn't blog often, but her thoughts are deep.

by New Member on May. 14, 2012 at 2:04 PM

I cry myself to sleep every night.

I asked God why and why with my first loss, I never understood why until a few years later. God used me to help other women going through similar losses at that time. He used my loss to soften my heart and minister to others that needed it so much.

Now I sit here after my second loss recently and ask god again.....WHY!WHY!WHY! I may never know why but I always remember that He is good...... He can use the bad for His good and His glory if we let Him, but never forget that Gdo can handle your anger too...... and He will love you through it.

by New Member on Jun. 2, 2012 at 8:14 AM
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God has a reason for every thing. He didn't take your babies to punish you. Losing them was not your fault in any way at all. It has been 5 years since I had my miscarriage and I still think about the child I lost. You are in my prayers.
by New Member on Jun. 6, 2012 at 9:07 PM

You sweet dear.  Thinking of your DH even in your sadness.  I found this verse a few hours before taking my second round of cytotec on Saturday evening.  This verse gives me a pupose.  It's so much more than the well meaning words of friends "well the baby wasn't going to be healthy so it's really for the best."  Seriously?  I would give my left leg to have a baby to hold in my arms and I couldn't care less if he had downs syndrome!

 God doesn't hold our sins against us, which is awesome because I've sinned a lot.  The truth is we live in a broken world where death is present and terrible things happen to good people.  However, we are not slaves to death we have HOPE in a risen Lord.  God sent His own sweet baby to die for our sins so that we wouldn't have to.  

I cannot tell you why he took your babies to be with Him but I can assure you that He will be you comfort if you will only let Him.  I pray that you will have a little one soon and that your sould finds rest in Him.   

2 Corinthians 1:3&4

Blessed be the God and Father  of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  

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