Miscarriage is destroying me
I recently suffered my first miscarriage-it would have been my 5th child, my 3rd son. I'm trying so hard to move on and live my life, but deep inside I feel like I'm really going the opposite direction. I'm fighting so many feelings-I'm afraid to try having another child, because it may happen again..and my husband says we're not going to have anymore. But sometimes, I still want another baby so bad it hurts. I am really fighting feelings of anger towards him because he was somewhat reluctant in the first place when I told him I wanted a fifth child-and he was very apprehensive when I announced the pregnancy. I can't seem to lose the weight that I gained during the pregnancy-some days I'm very motivated, others I just couldn't care less-and it's ruining what self image I did have. I feel dead inside..I want to serve God, but on the other hand I'm very angry that this happened and He seems to be silent about it all. I have prayed, but don't know what to pray and most of the time I just don't feel like praying anymore. I feel like I have so much rage bottled up inside and that any little thing could set me off at anytime. I CAN'T keep living like this!! Can anyone help???