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nervous soon to be mommy

Posted by on Sep. 16, 2008 at 11:44 PM
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My fiance is in the national guard, were trying to go active duty but it seems to take forever. We are expecting our first child in the beginning or October and living with his mother. If he stays with the unit he is with he will be going to Afghanistan in may of next year possibly. I respect the army and everything it stands for but the unit he's with is a joke, ever since he's been there its been a mess no one knows protocol. He is completely respected throughout his company everyone goes to him for help when needed, but were both miserable with the place. He keeps leaving for months at a time. I need someone to talk to but there is no one around that understands what I'm going threw. His mother just rubs it in his face when hes having a bad day and when he's gone, no one in my family knows what its like for their man to be gone.

by on Sep. 16, 2008 at 11:44 PM
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Replies (1-3):
armymommy2be818
by on May. 23, 2009 at 7:18 PM

only gets worse in the active duty side honestly. it takes you farther from your family than you want and takes most of your husband's time. my husband goes in at 6 in the morning and gets off around 530 or 6pm.. then he sleeps. the army is my husband's mistress and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention. you think that the national guard unit is messed up but active duty units are just as messed up. he is supposed to go to the field about 2 weeks before im due so i know where your coming from. i live 30 minutes from post too and that is the only hospital that i can have my baby at. oh you don't get a choice of where you are seen for medical attention and when your are seen they treat you like a number not a person. it generally takes me a month to get an appointment and the er takes all night.  i went in with breast pains and it took 9 hours for them to tell me that it was just my breasts growing because im pregnant.

in loveits a girl




olivia_yvonne's mommy2be

Laura_Cruz
by New Member on May. 24, 2009 at 10:03 AM

If you wish to talk with me, a lot of our situation is the same, my husband went into duty for the army for long term, three days later i find we are expected our first child, to be due in the beginning of february.

My husband loves the service and i want to support him, but the situation is just hard to deal with. Before he left my parents moved in with us because of my mother's health, her health has gotten better but they are still with me, and it is like being an under age pregnant teen, the stress of constant critical judgement is getting to be really stressful, and my mother is convinced army life will never be a good thing for my child and says if i live on base she will no longer speak with me, or my children, because if i choose to do that i will make a terrible mother.

I am not full of experience but have similiar cases if you just want somene to talk to

Email: Laurakauffmancruz@yahoo.com

AIM: NekoXoni

Laura Kauffman-Cruz

dawnshorizon
by on May. 25, 2009 at 3:39 AM

My husband has been active duty Army for 3 1/2 years now. He had been in for less than a year when we found out that we were expecting our first. 3 weeks after our daughter was born, my husband left on deployment. I was seen at the military hospital, but delivered at a medical college. You do have a choice what doctor to see. If you are enrolled in Tricare prime and living near a military installation, yes you will be seen at the base hospital, HOWEVER if you downgrade to Tricare standard, you can choose any doctor that you like. You will have a co-pay but it probably won't be that much and worth it if you are not comfortable with military care.

Anyways, yes it was very difficult to be away from my husband especially with our new baby. I moved in with my mother at first, but soon realized that I did not want to re-live my childhood. I was a new mother and a wife and I was deteremined to be treated like an equal and not a subordinate. You may live under their roof again, but you are not dependent on them any longer. If your parents (or in-laws) are not supportive of your choices within this unique lifestyle, then they do not appreciate the sacrifice your spouse AND you are making for the country.

Being a military spouse is so much more difficult than outsiders think. When our husbands leave for deployment, they want to know that we will be safe and happy. It is your job to create the best environment for your life and the life and wellbeing of your child(ren). Is it worth being degraded and having your husband and you disrepected just to save a little money? It is not impossible for wives and mothers to do it on their own. Millions of women succeed on their own every day. With my husband away, I found a new strength within me. I had to be there for my daughter. When he returned I was a better wife and a great mother.

Take a stand ladies or others will stand on you!

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