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Chapter 6: Breaking Free - Just a few questions?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2008 at 5:13 PM
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What causes drama in your life?  Are you able to take a step back and realize what triggers it?

Can you recognize the pain body in others?  Can you recognize it within?

Misery Love Company...How does this relate to the pain body?

by on Apr. 8, 2008 at 5:13 PM
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butterflyenergy
by on Apr. 8, 2008 at 10:26 PM

As I continue reading and re-reading and also as I journal about all this, I'm coming to understand that all drama stems from the same root - identification with form - be that a thought form, a mental position or opinion, a story about what happened to me or between me and another person and so on.
There is no drama without an argument of some kind. There is no argument without identification with opposing beliefs or opinions.
As far as drama in my own life, it usually happens when my husband and I are in a discussion - the discussion can quickly turn into an argument and before I know it, the content of what we're arguing about is no longer important. Suddenly we will both say anything just for the sake of winning, for the now a days. Over the past 6 or so months, I've been learning to notice my triggers and see them for what they are - which is nothing to do with who I am. When A New Earth came along back in January, I noticed my awareness bloom to a level I had never experienced before. I realized that I was finally ready to truly awaken!!

As far as the pain-body in others. I don't go out of my way to try and recognize it in who I interact with. I notice that when I'm truly present, I'm not so interested in where other people are coming from. I might notice it, and I will absolutely honor it, but I've noticed that the more present I am, the more I see how we are all sharing the same pain-body, so analyzing or comparing mine to another's doesn't feel necessary to me. 

The statement "Misery Loves Company" is practically the pain-body's song title!!! A broken record even!!! Misery wants nothing but more validation that it has a right to be miserable. And that is exactly what pain-bodies want. They feed off of each other and provoke each other because misery is not misery without validation that it has earned a right to be miserable!!!
When a person's misery is inpenetrable, then that is all they bring into their experience, and that is what the pain-body wants underneath. It's what it lives off of. It's why it has a means to exist.
People who are excited to be alive don't typically want anything to do with people who are so identified with their pain-bodies that they have become miserable. Like attracts like, so misery only attracts more of it's own vibration. And the more it stays in that vibration and continues to attract accordingly, the more validated the misery feels. The lens it sees through is it's only reality. No other reality is even fathomable. It has spent so much time attracting that which it vibrates and seeing the experience of that as vital proof that nothing else exists. That is the lens that the pain-body perceives it's experience through.

conjuredUp
by on Apr. 9, 2008 at 9:46 AM

Quoting butterflyenergy:


As far as the pain-body in others. I don't go out of my way to try and recognize it in who I interact with. I notice that when I'm truly present, I'm not so interested in where other people are coming from. I might notice it, and I will absolutely honor it, but I've noticed that the more present I am, the more I see how we are all sharing the same pain-body, so analyzing or comparing mine to another's doesn't feel necessary to me.

This is PERFECTLY articulated, IMHO.

If I was detached before... now I may come off as apathetic, but truly I just sit in my SPACE and watch.

Also?  As Eckhart recommends... SERIOUSLY.... do NOT point out a p/b! I learned that the HARD way with my hubby!
butterflyenergy
by on Apr. 9, 2008 at 3:04 PM
Quote:

If I was detached before... now I may come off as apathetic, but truly I just sit in my SPACE and watch.

Also?  As Eckhart recommends... SERIOUSLY.... do NOT point out a p/b! I learned that the HARD way with my hubby!

   Yes! It's not about not giving a damn or being apathetic at all!
Being detached and being the space for whatever is happening in the moment doesn't mean coming from a place of separation - the ego's way of creeping in by saying "I'm superior because I'm choosing not to engage in the drama of someone else's pain-body."
It's about doing just the opposite. It's about recognizing the pain-body for what it is, while noticing my own thoughts, my own emotion, and ALLOWING the moment to be exactly as it is!! That is the challenge when noticing another's pain-body. And that's part of what I meant when I said that it feels unnecessary to make an effort to notice another's pain-body. It's more important for me to recognize when my own pain-body is activated.  It's about choosing oneness instead of separation.
If I'm having an emotional reaction to someone else's pain-body, instead of using it to separate myself, I can look at my own feelings and say "Aha! My pain-body is resonating with that person's pain-body, and I'm reacting because part of me doesn't want to recognize in myself that which I'm reacting to."
It took me a long time to understand and recognize the difference in that. Now I am able to more often catch myself when I'm coming from separation and choose again. When I come from oneness with life, I notice that my pain-body suddenly loses it's grip, and I'm able to immediately appreciate and feel love towards whomever I'm reacting to. Such a powerful experience!!!!
Stardust2040
by New Member on Apr. 15, 2008 at 1:51 PM
It's so funny, when I first read the book I said to myself "I don't understand this pain body thing. I don't have one!"  Then one day , after listening to Eckhart, my pain body reared it's ugly head and I had an A-Ha moment.  Now I notice it all the time and can stop it before it gets out of hand (most times).  I can't believe I thought I didn't have one!  It's crazy how the ego and pain body have controlled my life for so long and I didn't even know it. I've been struggling with depression for so long and was truly loosing hope.


Thank God for this book!  I finally feel free.

My house feels more free too. Everyone seems much happier too. My painbody and my husbands weref eeding off each other.  So yes, Misery does love company. I noticed since I've become more aware that he isn't "flaring" as much now even though he's not reading the book.
conjuredUp
by on Apr. 16, 2008 at 10:18 AM

Quoting Stardust2040:

Thank God for this book! I finally feel free.

My house feels more free too. Everyone seems much happier too. My painbody and my husbands weref eeding off each other. So yes, Misery does love company. I noticed since I've become more aware that he isn't "flaring" as much now even though he's not reading the book.

My hubby and his massive pain body took their sweet time to start reading this book.  It was as if he KNEW it would be the end of it.

He's 52 and VERY comfy in his misery.

He completed chapter 7 just before Monday's class.

It is like I am living with a different person.  I am no longer on constant alert waiting for the attack.  (I had learned to live with it and love him eternally, but now??? WOW!)

He catches himself slipping into the p/b and just smiles at its craftiness.

This negative shroud now lifted is going to open us up to even MORE abundance and MORE love.  We were blessed before.

Now?  I can barely breathe for all the gratitude I feel.
Tricia671
by on Apr. 21, 2008 at 10:07 PM

Oh the good old Pain Body, and all it's drama. I could see very clearly that most of the drama here has to do with family relationships, although over the last couple of years I've said "I'm Done"  I'm so over it, it is still so easy to get sucked back in, and this is the gift this chapter has given me. I can step back and choose how I respond to the situations.

It's so much easier to recognize it in other people isn't it? but I do see it in myself, this is something I've been working on for years but didnt' have the tools to work through it.

Misery loves company, pain body feeds on this misery, it needs you to react, and add fuel to the fire so it can survive. 

NikiLukaMom
by on Apr. 21, 2008 at 11:58 PM

I think when you're in peace with your soul, you can isolate yourself from matters that cause drama. There was a case today which could have easily caused drama when a lady at a playground said something about my son. But, drama is a choice. You either submit to it or treat the matter with love and respect.
I'll say, drama is an individual's choice.

michaelsmom777
by Member on Apr. 22, 2008 at 12:50 AM
What causes drama in your life?  Are you able to take a step back and realize what triggers it?

Hmmm.  The drama.

After chapter six, I am catching my pain body more often than ever before.  If I was any kind of aware before, it has most certainly hightened since reading this Chapter.   And it's been waaay more peaceful in my home since beginning to read this book.  However, more often than not,  I still react to my son.  He still gets me.   We are both equally stubborn so you can imagen how that goes.  I've been focusing on catching my reactions to him lately and I'm successful once in a while.  Other times I'm just finding myself giving in and then I'm wrapped in drama and tears and anger.  Just typing this will help bring me more awareness to this.   He just knows how to press my buttons so it's pretty challenging.  I do note his surprise though when he doesn't get the response he's looking for.  Or he'll suddenly start laughing instead of crying and whinning (which sometimes activates my pain body as well because I know then that he was working me). 


It's so great to come to this group and read things like what is posted here.  It is an honor to be growing with all of you with this eye opening experience. 

An excercise that I try to do when I can: 

Looking in the mirror.  Who is that I see looking back at me?   I ask myself this question and I can feel the immediate responses within trying to fill the void- the silence.  I feel the nervousness, and anxiety.  I feel the layers coming off one by one as I dismiss the answers to the question.
And then suddenly I'm just there with no thoughts, and I say, "Hello. Nice to meet you."  First I get tingly with goosebumps. And then I cry cause I'm amazed at the shinning eyes I see in the mirror and I'm in awe of the source I see within.

I haven't done this in a while.  I think I'm going to try it again tonight.

Thanks for this post!





Love Always,

Lisa O.


profoundlove
by on Apr. 22, 2008 at 7:24 PM
What causes drama in your life?  Are you able to take a step back and realize what triggers it?

I have a thing with being controlled. I refuse to be in that position. My ex was controlling..it causes a major pain body reaction when ever anyone even hints at being controlling with me or my time.
There's a reason I am my own boss,lol.
This book helped me tremendously with recognizing the flare up in me. That in fact no one does control me, outside of me.
The trigger is my heart rate, I can literally feel my body tense up when I think I am trying to be controlled.
Yes, recognizing it is the beginning of the solution. Critical thinking is vital so that I can separate the thoughts from the thinker...just sort of let them roll on by.






Can you recognize the pain body in others?  Can you recognize it within?
I recognize the pain body in others, but I have always done that..the difference after ANE is that I no longer attach a bad or good emotion to it..I experience them without personalizing any of it.

Misery Love Company...How does this relate to the pain body?
Addiction.
Misery loves company is all about addiction.
The ego is an addict.
Not getting my fix & not being your dealer , but instead, letting a temporary feeling pass..into the nothingness it began as.
And then I am back to peace.

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