Going through the steps to diagnose Aspergers...

[JSVDP]

Hello everyone. I am here to get some answers and read others stories to get more of a read on what I and several others are suspecting.
First of all i will start off with how we came up with this conclusion.  My mom has always wondered about my son, and asked me if i was sure he didnt have some kind of autism. I always brushed it off because no one else ever said anything to me about it.

Fast forward to last week, teacher conference.  She tells me that my son seems to have difficulty making eye contact, talking to other kids and getting involved in group settings.  He has always been that way, I thought it was normal. I told her that my mom had asked me if maybe he might be on the spectrum and the teacher(releived I was the one who brought it up) said she agreed, that he exhibits a lot of the symptoms of a child with autism/aspergers syndrome.

Today I talk to the school psycologist, apparently HE has noticed this since my son started school there in kindergarten...my son is now in 2nd grade.  I literally found out today that his teachers had the suspicion since kindergarten and so did the psycologist, but no one said anything to me until I brought it up.  So I filled out the ASDS form, his numbers add up to 36 I have no clue what that means yet.

Now I will give you all an idea of how my son works.
When he was a baby and toddler he hated being in daycare, he literally screamed the whole time he was there, it was also constantly chaos there and barely any routine so he couldn't handle it.
It took a long time to get him to tell me he loved me, he had delayed speach which we contrubuted to his ear problems, he also wasn't a cuddly type kid.
Now he is sometimes, it really depends on his mood he prefers not to be hugged though unless HE initiates it and only with certain people.
He chews on his fingers or clothes, I am constantly telling him to take his fingers out of his mouth or stop chewing his shirt. 
He has obsessions with specific things.  Blankets, flashlights, old cell phones, it changes from time to time but whatever it is he is obsessed with it and talks about it, asks about it, looks for it.
His interests seem to be the only things he wants to talk about, any time he writes about anything its about his games, he doesn't play them much but the way he talks about it you would think he is always playing games.
He will not talk to you about anything else, sometimes I wonder if he is even listening to what I am saying most of the time.
He cannot initiate most conversations, he will stand there until someone acknoledges him.  Then when you do he still can't seem to figure out what he wants to say, sometimes he will stand there after saying your name and say nothing then walk away.
( I just recently realized this) He doesn't make eye contact, even when talking to you he wont.  You tell him to look at you, he does for a second but immediately looks away.
Get's distracted REALLY easily by anything, like right now its taking him a long time to do his homework because the dog ran by, the tv said something about Halo, his sister moved. I have to remind him to do his homework(and occasionally to stop licking the table, he licks odd things from time to time too)
Reading is a hard thing for him, he knows the words, can read them but sometimes if he cant think of what it is he gets frustrated and quits.  Or with math if he is stuck on something he will obsess over the problem until he can figure it out or someone tells him to pass it or helps him with it.

There are a few other things that at the moment I cant think of.  These things are not things everyone sees.  Mostly things you notice over time of observing and knowing him.  His teacher said that she wants to make sure that teachers after her understand the best way to teach him is to know how he works first, because otherwise nothing will get through and it will be more difficult to get him to do anything at all.  And thats true, if you dont know how he works your going to have trouble.  Tantrums, mental shut downs on things he knows but if pushed or cant figure it out when he knows he knows it. Social shut downs where he just wont respond to anything.

Oh and there is the super hero thing, sometimes he goes into a character that the school has a hard time getting him to respond to anything else.  He sometimes insists on them refering him as whatever "hero" he is that day if they dont he wont respond.
I had to tell him that he has to be D at school because he needs to keep his identity secret, thats the only thing that has seemed to work.

He is getting better at some things, he is very compliant as long as he is having a good day. But you talk to him on a bad day and he will do nothing at all that anyone wants him to do.
He is rude, no matter how many times I correct him.  i think "He should be understanding because I tell him constantly" but he just doesn't.  He says inappropriate things, laughs at inappropriate things, sometimes acts inappropriately in stores where I have to tell him to stop. 

He cant talk on the phone with anyone but my mom because he just sits there and doesn't say anything.  He will talk to me without being prompted or being asked a question or my mom, sometimes my husband but anyone else we have to prompt him to say something.
He freaks out and has anger problems and outbursts when things get chaotic at home, if something is different or someone is here that usually isn't or if we do things out of schedule he has behavior problems. Going to my moms house the schedule is totally thrown out the window, its chaos and noise there at all times so he has a hard time BUT he is used to that one time a month so its not as hard for him. While he has his moments durring that weekend at my moms he isn't too bad as if it were a deviation at home.  Anything that happens at home thats not "normal" and it really affects the way he acts.

I talked to my MIL about this and she says "thats just how he is, thats his personality, he doesn't have autism/aspergers".  My sister says the same thing, my husband wont talk about it at all.

LOL I know this whole thing is long, I am just hoping to get some advice, support, answers, anything really.  I just am not sure what to think here.

I know this is going to take a while, the psycologist is going to observe my son and have the autism specialist observe him and Feb we will do more after we do the checklists and observations and figure out what we are dealing with here. 

[LadybugsMonkeys]

Wow, from with you said you just described my son, he is 7 will be 8 on Valentine's Day. His obsession is only wolves, and has been wolves for many years. We are also just going through the questionnaires, we actually go back to the developmental pediatrician Tuesday. I'm taking the questionnaires that therapists and I have all filled out. We school through a virtual school so teachers don't have daily contact or anything beyond weekly phone calls which he doesn't talk to her, she asks me the question, I ask him and I have the phone so she can hear him without him knowing she is listening. Then livelesson, he listens to her talk through the computer, he tell me the answer and I type it. Dad won't even talk about it.

I just wanted to say you are not alone, and Good Luck, I know things won't change with getting the label for my son, but then at least I will know, and then maybe we can start coming up with what to do to help him best.

[JSVDP]

Thank you, it is hard though too because his Ped just brought up the fact he may have a learning disability as well as aspergers.  Which makes sense, but I know he isn't stupid he is actually really smart, he just has a hard time trying to apply what he knows or how to get to the point of KNOWING what to do.  On a good day he can do awesome in his school work, on bad days he can't do anything at all.
My husband is more willing to accept the learning disability over aspergers.