Advice on leaving my 17 year old daughter....

[cyn.moran]

I was married for 18 years. Got divorced in 2003. Got remarried in 2008. My son is 21 my daughter is 17. She just turned 17 in the fall. My husband and I got jobs in another state around 1000 miles away. My daughter wants to stay with my mother. She is out of school and will be going to college in the fall of this year. My father just passed away in 2007. So all this has been a big change for my family. My daughter and I are very close and have always been. I moved 2 hours away when I got married, she was 16. Now we are planning on moving 1000 miles away. My dilemma....Guilt and loads of it....Should I stay and wait till she is 18? Her father does not play a big role in her life and never has. She likes my husband alot. But she wants to stay with my mom and in the small town that she is used to. Should I go or stay? I am having a real hard time trying to figure this one out. Any advice would be great. Am I a bad mother?

[unknownjourney]

No you are not a bad mother.  You said she has graduated from high school and is planning on attending college.  She is going to start to do her own thing and will sooner or later move away anyways.  They usually do.  Both of my children who I am very close to have both went on their own paths and neither of them live in the same state as me.  Living your life does not mean that you won't or can't be there for your daughter.  Phones, computer...all make it possible these days to be around even if you can't in the physical.  Would you want your daughter to put her life on hold for you?  I am sure she does not want you to either.

[AprilD32]

I would have a really hard time leaving without her if it were me. I don't know if I would do it. But my DD is 7 years old, not 17 so it is hard to know how I would really feel for sure in your shoes.  I don't think you are doing anything wrong if you go, but I would consider your reasons and your decision carefully before taking the plunge. if you can wait for one more year and it won't hurt you any, than I might wait just because after that one more year she will be an adult living her own life and you may not see her as often anymore. 

[rbax]

You are not a bad mother, just one who is close to her daughter. That's a blessing. It will be hard to leave, but she will be a comfort to your mother and she would leave you at some time anyway. Be proud that you raised a daughter who is independent.

[redmamaof5]

I would let her finish up her senior year with her friends. Its hard enough to make new friends and then to join a new school and what if she doesnt meet their requirements for graduation? you dont want her to have to stress more.