My 13 year old daughter just completed her AAU basketball season playing for an elite team. This is actually her third year playing for an elite team and without a doubt the worst season for us. She is a very talented and athletic young lady with the heart and desire it takes to succeed. However, this year we experienced our first taste of questionable coaching and ethical conduct. This was his first year with this Elite program and from our knowledge got the position through mutual friends of the director. From the beginning, he was a loose cannon. He seemed to single my daughter out by yelling and humiliating her. At our second tournament, another player passed the ball at the back of another girl, causing a turn over and the other team scored. The coach called a time out and to much of ours and other parents surprise, he screamed at my daughter for not calling for the ball and being out of position. He yelled that she didn't come to play and don't raise her hand when he asks who wants to go in the game. After the game, he told her if she cant handle his yelling then she will never make it with her high school coach. This went on game after game. I talked to him and he would talk only about how much he has done as far as making her a better player. I also found out that he was sending text messages to three of the other girls on the team, outside of basketball. He would send them texts asking what they are up to or where they are and who they are with. It seems to me that it is inappropriate for a coach to be texting girls for anything not related to basketball. He would also stay at one of the players homes during a tournament as well. This same girl could do no wrong. However,, when she did do things wrong, he found a way to yell at my daughter for something that had nothing to do with the play. This same player got incredible play time and when she did something that any other player would have gotten yelled at for, he would pull her to the side and talk to her. My daughter or a few other players would something wrong and would be pulled, yelled at and benched for at least 5 minutes. My daughter never cries and I found myself consoling her on several occasions this year. Now, I am torn between going to the director of the program, who has a close friendship with the coach, and is involved with my daughters high school program, or just letting it go. Has anyone experienced this or do you have any advise for me?
Favortism [???} seems to be the name of the game in anything a child gets involved in.
Remembering what my oldest son dealt with through his years of sports, he lost out on alot of opportunities because of it.He quit football his senior year because of crap like this.
As far as the texting goes... I personally would have to say something to someone. Your best bet is to get other parents involved dont go to bat alone. Also realize that going coming forward is liable to have consenquences that your daughter will have to be willing to accept.
Alot of good kids and good athletes are passed up every day due to favortism.
Good luck and keep us up to date on what happens.
- bballmom412
on Jul. 24, 2009 at 11:41 PM