Annoying classmate

Replies:

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• by
  • SCmomof3girls
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:57 AM

• I would maybe speak with the teacher. At playtime, my DD's K class splits up into 5 groups to go to "centers". If your school does something like that, see if the teacher can send them to seperate play areas, or encourage Joe to do something else. If it is bad enough, I might even request a change in class. You're right, K is too young to dread going, especially over something like that.

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• by
  • mama2jarednrae
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:56 PM

• I was thinking the same thing about talking to the teacher...she has to see it so I would go to her and see what she would suggest....and maybe for her to encourage him to play with other people and make new friends...

  But it would be nice if his mother would encourage him to play with other kids...do play dates or something to make new friends in the school / class!

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• by
  • steelcrazy
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 1:07 PM

• I sent an email to the teacher and hopefully she'll be able to help on the school side of things.  I do feel bad for Joe, he is very shy and insecure.  My oldest son has a similar personality, so I truely do feel for him.  I just don't like my cutie being so upset and feeling stuck with this kid.  Joe's birthday party is tomorrow and I made up an excuse as to why we aren't coming, I feel bad but my son just doesn't need to be smothered by this kid an extra day this week!

  SteelCrazy

  
  

  Mom 2 two boys, bugga-boo & cutie-boo, and twin boy angels in heaven.

  
  

  
  

  
  

        

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• by
  • MaryJWatson
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 7:24 PM

• Hopefully the teacher will have some solutions and help solve this problem so that both boys are happy. BUT if what she tries doesn't work, or if Joe's mom doesn't cooperate (if asked by the teacher to try certain things) then I would seriously consider switching your son's class. It's sad, but Joe needs to make new friends and your son needs to be able to enjoy school. Poor little guys. I feel bad for both of them.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

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• by
  • StephanieSH
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 7:37 PM

• I know it's a tough situation and it's very sad for both kids.  Your son is dreading going to school and it sounds like the other child has some social skills issues.  Perhaps he can't pick up on certain social cues that your son is giving him.  If you are friends with his mom, you could talk to her about it.  Also definitely talk to the teacher.  If she is aware of it, there are things she can do to help Joe make other friends.  Also, she could suggest social skills group to his mom.  If your son just cuts him off completely, it could devastate him.  I encourage you to handle it compassionately so that your son can see it from this other child's perspective too. 

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• by
  • steelcrazy
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 8:19 PM

• The teacher was out sick today, hopefully she'll be back on Monday.  I'm going to try to call Joe's mom this weekend and talk with her.  I still would like the boys to be friends, but I'd like them to have other friends as well and have some time alone.  I'm lucky that my older son has anxiety and social skills issues, so I can see this from both sides.  I know that I'm not comfortable suggesting a therapist or social group to my friend, so hopefully the teacher will.  I could recommend a good children's therapist to her though!

  SteelCrazy

  
  

  Mom 2 two boys, bugga-boo & cutie-boo, and twin boy angels in heaven.

  
  

  
  

  
  

        

• 
• by
  • kmrtigger
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:05 PM

• 
  

  Quoting steelcrazy:
  
  

  My youngest son, cutie, is in Kindergarten this year and he has problems with a classmate.  This child, Joe, is my friend's son so we have know him for awhile.  A few years ago, I watched Joe and his sister Marla when their regular sitter couldn't.  Last fall Joe showed up in my son's preschool class.  It is a large preschool and there are 4 classes for each age group.  Some how they ended up in class together.  Joe's mom says that she didn't request it, but I wonder.  My son was the only child Joe knew in preschool and was up his butt the entire year.  Joe always had to play, sit, stand, be by my son.  If my son was absent Joe wouldn't do anything but sit there.  This made it difficult for my son to interact with other kids in the class.

  Joe is now in my son's kindergarten class, again there are 4 classes and his mom swears that she didn't request it again.  And again my son is the only child in class that Joe knows.  It's basically a repeat of last year and my son is annoyed to no end.  He has started crying and saying that he can't take it any more.  He has asked to stay home from school for the last few days, I've sent him to school anyway.  I've told my son to politely tell Joe that he doesn't want to play/sit with him.  Joe just doesn't seem to be getting the message, he'll just follow my son around even if he is ignored.  I don't even think that the boys have much in common.

  What can I do about this?  What should I tell my son?  Should I talk to Joe's mother?  Help, I'm at a complete loss here!  I want my son to like going to school, Kindergarten is too young to dread going.

  Sometimes the teacher will recommend them to be in the same class. If she thought they were close friends. They seem to think this helps the younger children have an easier transition into the new class. I know this b/c my middle son had the same group of boys(all his best buds) follow him into kindergarten. He became friends w/ them in preschool. But now that he is in 1st grade they were all separated so they would make new friends.

  I suggest explaining to Joe's mother what your son told you. Have her explain to her son how important it is to play with other kids. I hope you find something that works and soon.
  

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