Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm at the end of my rope **EDIT*** *** Edit again***

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 9:56 PM
  • 8 Replies

 Ok ladies my oldest ds is 11 and I don't know what to do. He is failing at school, not doing his homework doing crappy class work. He has been like this for a couple years. I have tried everything to help him. I just don't know what to do anymore. he is so smart and I love him so much and I don't want to see him fail. As I write this I'm crying cause I'm just lost as what to do.



Thank you for all of the advice. When he actually does the work he gets A's. He is able to focus and sit still and is not hyper, but I haven't checked into a learning disability. He is in a private school now that completely focuses on learning without interruptions. I have tried counseling but he wouldn't open up. I have had conferences every year with the teacher's and have had him on daily checks. His behavior is not an issue at all he is very respectful and good at school. I help him with home work everyday. As soon as my kids walk through the door they start their home work. The problem is is that for some reason he won't turn it in.  His teacher e-mailed me last night so we are going to be setting up a conference to see if we can come up with a new game plan. Thank you again for taking the time to help!!


Edit part 2 ****

The schools IEP teacher called me today and we have a meeting next Tues. After the meeting we will decide if he needs to be tested. After taking away all of ds's video games and t.v. his work is getting better!!!

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 9:56 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 10:21 PM

My son is the same way and has been for a few years. He was just diagnosed with ADHD. Maybe you should read up on it and see if any of it applies to your son. Good luck!



by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:12 PM

Has he had an assessment? Could he have an undiagnosed learning disorder?  From what

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 7:10 AM

He's still young to where he can change. If there is a problem with ADHD or something else, the teacher would know. Have you had a conference with the school? Maybe you should and put him on a daily progress report. You can try tutoring? Has there been a big change in the last few years? Maybe you should do some counceling with him. I had problems with my daughter a few years ago after a move (military) and my mother's death a month later. It was hard for both of us and she went from A/B's to C/D's I hope things get better for you I know what you are going through I use to cry thinking I failed at motherhoo. It's your first child and you can't do everything perfect. Good Luck

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 9:54 AM

You say that you have done everything, but have you? Your son may be depressed, he may be bored, he may have undiagnosed learning disabilities, etc. You need to advocate for your child, determine what the issue is, and get him the help that he needs and deserves.

Good luck.

Robin in Chicago

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 12:18 PM


I understand what you are going through. My youngest son is currently being tested by the school. The school pychologist gave me four test packets to test my son for Austism, Asperbergs syndrom and a few other behavior test packets. Sorry do not mean to scare you. There is help out there for parents and kids. My son is 6 and is in first grade. Soon we will have a meeting at the school to find out the test results. I think my son has ADHD. He runs around alot and has a difficult time staying in one place. He also has trouble concentrating. My son's teacher has embarassed me in front of the whole school by yelling at me during an assembly. One morning she walked up to me and started yelling at me. I just answered all of her questions and did not yell or get mad and she stopped yelling at me. I was so embarassed. The prinicipal was speaking to the students on the loud speaker. So I understand. My son is on a daily behavior chart. It is starting to get better. Hang in there. There is help for your son.       

by Emerald Member on Dec. 2, 2009 at 7:21 PM

It very well could be a learning disability, and the teacher could have missed it. With class sizes so large it is easy for some things to go unnoticed by the teacher. 

Major changes or stress can also be a cause for learning troubles.  Is it possible that someone is making fun of your son?  Has his group of friends changed recenly? Does he complain of not having any friends?

Is he understanding his lessons.  Does he have lots of trouble with his homework?  Do you help him with his homework?  Maybe he is just advanced and totally bored with school and doesn't even want to be bothered with it?

You need to have a conference with his teacher and ask her some of the questions I've posted here.  Sit and think of any other questions you may have for her as well.  You and the teacher should work together to solve this issue, because neither one of you can solve it on your own.  You both have answers that can help each other, so get together and try to solve this asap.


by on Dec. 3, 2009 at 2:17 PM

Read your edit, I didn't want to come straight out and say it could be a behavior disorder or learning disorder because you didn't say there were any problems in that area. I really do hope that you and the teacher can work out a great strategy that works for everyone and that his grades pick up.

    Join us on
Moms with Elementary School Kids

                  Group Mod



by on Dec. 3, 2009 at 7:45 PM

If he gets good grades on the work he turns in, I would have to go with the idea that he is bored. Either the content of his assignments doesn't interest him, or it is information he already knows. I ran into the same problem with my 9 year old. 4th grade isn't very challenging for her so I made arrangements with her teacher and school to have her work on harder assignments. In the areas that the school couldn't or wouldn't provide more difficult content, I created fun, yet informative things for us to do at home. Now she is pulling straight A's, but I can tell when she is getting bored again, because her handwriting  starts to slide and she makes simple mistakes because she rushes through the work to get it over with so she can read her book. I recommend asking your son if he is bored, have an assessment done, and try to come up with challenging yet fun activities to do with him to help him find the more interesting side of less than interesting content.

Good Luck.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)