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what do you give to your children?

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 4:06 PM
  • 8 Replies

 

I want to know what do we give to our children from ourselves that makes them who they are going to be? What do we bring to the table as a parent to help them reach their full potential?

I am going to start with mine. I bring creativity and a love of reading and writing. I want them to be able to find the truth and the only way to do that is to read and think outside the box. I also want them to be able to tell the truth. A wise and crazy professor once told me "Poets tell the truth, their truth."

This is all I have come up with which doesn't seem like a lot to battle the world with. But I believe each person who touches my children's lives leaves a little imprint.

Please think think think before you answer this.

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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 4:06 PM
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elananme
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 4:58 PM

I give my children creativity, stubborness, and genorousity (sp?) I think i have also given my daughter a thirst a hunger more like for knowledge, a need to know how things work and why things are (and yes this can be quite annoying at times)

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kylesmom
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 5:01 PM

I have given my son my know it all attitide and pig headed plus a love for knowledge 

kylesmom aka Jennifer 


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hholllyy426
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 6:25 PM

We are showing our son how important education is by going to school ourselves. He knows it's challenging and has gone to class with us and he'll learn in those classes. One professor said that my son probably learned more during that one class session than over half the class did since the class started. He's very bright and inquisitive.

He's also very caring. He cares about and likes to help others, whether they're an animal, an adult or child. We're also helping him overcome his anxiety disorder and show him that it's alright to just let loose and be a kid and have fun. That he shouldn't be worrying about the stuff that mom and dad should worry about.  

  
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rkoloms
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 9:56 AM

A love of life and learning

Robin in Chicago

ErikaRobin
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:04 AM

I LOVE THIS QUESTION!  

Let's see...I give my children the gift of humor.   What else do I bring to the table?  Hm...I have a hard time answering this without sounding like I just adore myself (shaddup, Jeffner hepmommy).  

I do help their creative sides shine through and help them to love strongly.  I let them see that I can be hurt, but I forgive easily.  I let them see that life is forever a learning experience.

(I don't feel my answer did your question justice.  Maybe I'll have to come back to it.)     

 



 

ldmrmom
by on Dec. 15, 2009 at 10:23 AM

Interesting question.

I give my kids my open mind and heart. I want them to feel free to explore the world and their own strength and weaknesses on their own terms. That's not to say we don't have age appropriate limits and rules. It's just to say that I have my own strengths and weaknesses but I do my best to not let those influence my children's.

Personally I despise math. Math and I were not friends when I was in school. ;) My son, however, LOVES it. I do my best to encourage and support his interest. I feign enthusiasm when he devotes blocks of our life together quizzing me on various math equations or when he's asking me to give him oodles of figures and puzzles to solve. As far as he knows, my passion for numbers is no different than his. :) Both kids *do* know what DH and I are interested in and passionate about. They also know that's *our* set of interests and while we're happy to share them with the anyone that asks, it's not a requirement. ;)

I give my kids my support and encouragement. Seeing the self-confidence and the curiosity in each child now, I think we've done a good job so far in developing a strong esteem in both kids - yet we work with them to find that balance of accepting that we don't know everything and we don't always get it right. Some people mistake over-confidence and praise for everything and anything as esteem -building. I think it's just the opposite.  A confident, srong person knows it's ok to mess up. What matters is what you do with the mistake not whether or not you made one. If you can apologize (if appropriate to do so) and learn from your mistake than it wasn't a bad thing. If you stomp your feet, refuse to admit you're wrong and stay stagnant - then it's a bad thing.

I give my kids the courage to try new things and to discover new things on their own terms. My kids know how to find information to answer their own questions. Yes, we help them. yes we're there to answer questions. But we're also there saying "Let's look it up together." I want them to be independent and confident enough to ask for help but also to seek out answers on their own.

I do not falter in letting the kids know that education is important and it comes before a whole lot of other stuff. We do not miss school days so we can get a jump start on a vacation or a  visit to distant relatives. We do not miss school unless we're too ill to go. We do not get to do all those after school activities if we can't do them AND keep our grades up or get our homework done. School comes first.

We have always read to our children - quite literally from day 1 we've read to them. This is the one passion that I am pretty excited to have passed on directly. My kids both read early and read for pleasure quite often. Once you master the basics, learning anything becomes pretty tough if you can't read. It's the foundation of education and it's something I've been adament about passing on to my kids - even if they never became passionate readers "for pleasure," we were determined that they be competent readers. So far. So good.

And last but not least, we make sure that both kids know we love them unconditionally. We might not always like what they do, but we also love them. We let them know they are never too big for a cuddle or to just 'need mommy.' My 7 year old isn't so big on getting hugs and kisses in public. He'll call me "Mom" in front of other people by his own choosing. He likes to appear as independent as possible. Yet when he has a bad day, isn't feeling well...and even sometimes "just because", he'll still look to curl up on my lap with his head resting on me and be cuddled as he says "I love you Mommy."  I'm sure as he gets older that will morph into something new but as an adult who is still close to both parents - I know the probability is also that it's always there in some form.


vlester
by on Dec. 16, 2009 at 9:50 AM

I gave my son the church, sounds crazy but he ushers at church, he acts in church plays, he also even sings in the church. I also gave him a basketball, he has now been playing for 3 years. I gave him books, he loves to read. I have him a laptop, he is SUPER smart on that where he teaches kids as well as adults on what to do. I have him the knowledge of cooking because I told him if he wanted to eat he better learn to cook because there are many sorry women out here that don't know how. I gave him a mop and a brrom to clean, this is another skill i need you to know because there are many lazy women.I need my son to be WELL-ROUNDED in many things for survival

niviad
by on Dec. 16, 2009 at 9:50 AM

i give my children independence. the freedom to be what they are meant to be THEMSELVES. i also give them my natural intelligence, when growing up my mom used to tell me that i was too smart for my own good and i find myself telling my sons the same thing. they just naturally pick up on everything they are given to learn. my 4yr old despite his disabilities (none mentally just physical) is considered smarter than all the kids in his class. i also give them lots and lots of love, without that how are they supposed to strive in life.

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